"Well, I've been 'fraid of changing. 'Cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder; children get older. And I'm getting older, too."

I heard this song in the car today - "Landslide," it's not mine - and all of a sudden thought, I know.

I have been afraid of changing. My entire existence is built around food, or the lack thereof. Around my ED. And I'm tired of it. I'm ready to change. I'm trying ot change. I mean, it's hard. And my mind is insisting I need to diet again. But then when it hits one or two in the morning I think, Maybe I can change, if I just try hard enough. Maybe I can be happy. It's like two people inside me, arguing. But anyway. I am getting older. Maybe I'm growing up and away from the mental disorders.

Well, here's to hoping.