Title: Angel of the Snowdrift
Authoresses: NoChristmasJokesPlz and ANT-chan
Rating/Genre: Romance/Drama/NC-17 (for SLASH/YAOI/BL/GAY, sex sex and more sex, language, a bit of angst, and threesome.)
Summary: 'Life hates me. It always has. ...I'm really going to die here.' Neither Sin nor Draca ever thought finding a boy in the snow and doing a good deed would lead to so much. A Shadows & Seraphim story. M/M/M
Special thanks to Thaliag.2, Olivrayna, RD, swedishluck, IGDLTV, mistylake26, and one Guest for reviewing, favoriting, and following us! Thank you all so much, and especially thank you for putting up with my tardiness. ^ ^U
Also, to our anonymous reviewers (since we couldn't respond through private messages): To our Guest, this story is an alternate telling of the Shadows & Seraphim timeline, splitting off approximately a year before the events of Shadow Dragon. Milo isn't included in the main timeline of S&S. To RD: You know, this isn't really something we thought that much about. The closest answer we could have to that is that a panicked Draca didn't exactly stop to look at Milo. He was more worried about getting him into dry clothes and under as many blankets as possible.
Angel of the Snowdrift
Chapter 17: No Going Back
Time passed. Weeks ticked slowly by. Spring became summer. Summer Solstice came and went. The days became longer and warmer and then unbearably hot on the tropical island. Milo took to pulling his hair up in a messy bun to try and keep cool, his hair thankfully still long enough to cover the back of his neck from view, and wearing thinner clothes that covered less of his arms and legs. It took a while to get used to that. But hey, it was better than heat stroke. Before he realized it, he had been living with Sin and Draca for just over five months.
Five months. He'd been there that long and had managed to not get himself (and his feelings) caught, nor had he broken down in complete frustration and despair. If that wasn't an ego boost, he didn't know what was. It was getting easier to force down the spikes of desperate need – easier to lock it away until he knew he was completely alone. It was torture, but at least his little secret was safe.
Draca and Sin were still in bed that morning, wrapped around each other and sleeping peacefully. Milo had allowed himself a quick peek, and only that. He absolutely did not linger. Instead, Milo padded through the apartment, tidying up here and there, enjoying his day off. As he wandered, his heart was tight and strangely warm in his chest. Everywhere he looked, he could see a little part of him nestled comfortably with belongings that spoke of the Vampyre and seraph, as if they had always been there. A ball of bright pink yarn (a joke gift from Draca) sat, partially unraveled on Sin's desk alongside a shining crystalline object that Milo understood to be a Traveler's Gem. He squinted at the yarn. He must've left it there while he'd been talking to Sin after their lessons.
He left the study and poked his head into Sin's room, which, surprisingly, still smelled of the two men who slept downstairs. The feline Fayth's things were strewn about, no semblance of order to them whatsoever. Ribbons in varying colors sat in a tangled mass atop the dresser, most of them gifts from Kyris or Gwen. There were also several long sticks of incense there - Gwen let him pick them out himself. Of course, he chose the ones that reminded him the most of how Draca and Sin smelled…
He shook his head, his heart heavy. Sometimes he just wished he couldn't feel anything – it would be easier. Milo had tried to get over the shameful feelings from the start. In the beginning, it had been because of fear; because no matter how kind Sin and Draca had always been, Milo had been terrified of ever being in a situation that included sex again. That wasn't exactly what scared him anymore, not with them. Now… now the fear of being a homewrecker was what kept him quiet. Milo sighed and flopped down onto the bed.
"It's not fair…" he murmured, Meatball being the only one who could hear him. Not that the fish would answer. Milo lapsed into brooding silence. The situation felt so hopeless. 'What am I going to do?' he thought over and over. The only possible answer wasn't one he wanted.
"Maybe… I should leave. It'd be easier."
Silver ears flicked at the sharp sound that broke him from his depressing thoughts. The Fayth looked around, but could find no source for the noise.
That time he could trace the sound. His head whipped toward the window, just in time to see a pebble strike the glass with another sharp tap! Milo padded over to it, his curiosity getting the better of him. He opened the window, inhaling the scent of the warm air as he looked to the street. Kyris was grinning up at him from the road below, idly tossing a pebble from hand to hand.
"Hey, kiddo!" she called up to him.
"Um... hi," he called back. "Uh, Sin and Draca are sleeping... so..."
"Well it's a good thing I don't want to talk to them, huh?" Kyris' gray eyes twinkled up at him in amusement. She gestured for him to join her. "I'm about to head into market. Wanna come with me?"
"Oh! S-sure." The nekojin ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I'll be... right down."
Milo bounded over to the mirror hanging about the dresser, straightening his clothes and making sure his hair was tamed properly. He smiled at his reflection. His situation may be hopeless - his wishes may be completely impossible - but he would never regret his time here. He'd met five amazing people - caring and kind.
He took the stairs two at a time, his footsteps light and quick. He stumbled a bit as he hit the landing, grumbling quietly. But he stopped as he reached the intersection of the hall. His path changed, almost against his will, his feet taking him to the dark room at the end of the hall. The flat's extra bedroom, where Sin and Draca were currently sleeping. Milo took a deep breath as he stood before the door, hesitating. This had fast become a habit in the past few weeks. And a particularly dangerous one. He gave in to the urge, though, and gently pushed the door open.
There were no windows in the back room, as it was located at the very back of the apartment. It took his feline eyes but a few moments to adjust to the lack of light. Just as he expected, they were wrapped in each other's arms and looking the epitome of peaceful. But as he continued to watch, Draca shifted, his brow furrowing. Crimson eyes slitted open, dazed and still half asleep. Milo tensed by the door, not daring to even breathe. The Vampyre didn't seem to notice him, though. Instead he seemed enraptured with the vision of his sleeping lover before him. A slow, sleepy smile came to Draca's lips, and he pressed a kiss to Sin's temple.
Something twisted painfully in Milo's chest, and he fled. 'It's not fair...'
"Hello again!" Kyris greeted brightly as he exited the flat.
"Hi..." Milo winced inwardly. That had sounded less than enthusiastic.
But Kyris had become used to his supposed shyness. She grinned at him. "You ready to go?"
"Uh-huh!" That sounded better, if a little fake. They set off of the market sector at a leisurely pace, talking idly and simply enjoying the warm weather. Or at least, Kyris was. Milo was desperately trying to calm his chaotic thoughts and soothe the twisting pain in his chest. He kept up a smile, and joined in the conversations. But his thoughts kept coming back to what he'd seen...
'I'm hopeless, aren't I?' he thought miserably. He had spent so long wanting someone special - someone for him. And he'd found not one, but two people that were very special. He wanted them. It was such a greedy desire. He wanted someone who would care about him. Someone who would care about what he wanted. Someone who wouldn't simply take from him. But...
The two people he'd found were in love with each other. Anyone could see it.
'It'd be selfish to ruin that.' Again, his thoughts turned to his tentative answer from before. Leaving would save him, save everyone, the heartache.
"Hey... you okay?"
Milo jumped, whirling to face the fire Fayth. She was gazing at him with concern in her gray eyes. It was only then that he realized they had been walking through the market for what seemed to be some time. He smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yeah... I'm okay. I just-"
"Something's been bothering you."
The nekojin fell silent. And here he thought he'd been hiding it well enough.
Kyris gave him a matronly smile. "You wanna talk about it?"
'Not really,' was his mental response. Milo shifted uneasily. The fewer people who knew about his feelings, the better. But he could talk about some things... right? "I just..." he faltered, fiddling with his long hair. "I guess I just feel like I'm intruding on them. Like I'm in the way, you know?" That was real enough. It might have been the most superficial of truths, but it was still the truth.
The barmaid nodded as she glanced from stall to stall. "So that's it. Doesn't really surprise me, I guess." She gave her shopping list to the vendor, before turning to him. "But you know, Milo... Sin and Draca are actually pretty comfortable around you. You accomplished in months what would take anyone else years to do!"
Milo blinked owlishly at her. "Wha-What?" he stammered innocently.
The redhead laughed. "I've known Sin since I was a teenager. But it took nearly a decade to actually become friends with him. And don't even get me started on Draca! It took those two a couple of decades to become even the slightest bit comfortable with each other."
"What about... Gwen and Kira?"
"This… doesn't really apply to those two. They were just children when they met them." She shrugged. "As they grew up they just naturally fit themselves into our lives. But you, kiddo, nearly six months ago you were a complete stranger. Now, it's like you've always been here. You belong here. With us." Kyris reached out and squeezed his shoulder in a comforting grip.
Despite himself, Milo felt a smile come to his face. "Thanks, Kyris."
The trip back was significantly more lighthearted for Milo than the trip out had been. He'd helped Kyris carry her groceries back to the tavern, and had been served lunch. Now he found himself walking back to the flat he'd come to call home with a bit of a spring in his step. Kyris' words had had an effect on him. It might not have solved his problem. It might not have given him a sudden insight to his feelings. But it had made him feel better, nonetheless.
He belonged there, she'd said. He was part of their makeshift family.
The nekojin rushed into the apartment in a flurry of motion, a happy smile on his face. He wasn't even watching where he was going. So he wasn't all that surprised when he ran into something. "Oof!" Milo yelped as he recoiled. He heard a sharp hiss and realized with a jolt that he had not run into something - but someone.
"Ah! Sin, I'm so sorry!" Sin had been standing in the room, his torso bare and his hair mussed from sleep. He'd run right into Sin's back as the man was moving towards the stairs – his hands colliding with the pale scars that marred his shoulder blades as he tried to stop himself. 'Oh no!' Milo panicked, registering the hiss he'd heard. Had he hurt him? "I'm sorry!" he blurted. He reached for the scars on impulse, his first instinct to soothe away any pain he'd caused. But as soon as his fingers brushed the aged scars, Sin jolted with another hiss, and whipped around to grab his hands.
His brain had finally caught up with the situation. Sin was standing before him, his toned, bronze torso bare to Milo's eyes, his cotton pants hanging loosely off his hips. The Fayth found his mouth had gone dry at the sight. His heart started an instinctual, frantic dance against his ribs.
The room was silent. The space between them was alive and disturbing. He wanted to move closer - to lay his hands on Sin's skin. The seraph's eyes had gone from sharp and intense, to confused, to shocked, and then something…
And then he realized what he was thinking, and it was as if he'd been doused with ice water. Milo let out a squeak and jumped away, averting his eyes. "I'm... um... S-sorry..." his voice was a panicked whimper. He pushed past the assassin, and fled up the stairs. Oh gods, what was he thinking?
Sin remained motionless long after Milo escaped from the room. His entire body still tingled in the sudden aftershock of pleasure from the touches to his scars. His own panic and guilt at the surge of overwhelming desire had been short-lived. His tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lips, his brow furrowing as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. If there was ever any doubt, however, a quick glance at the ceiling, his luminous eyes tracking Milo's form above, confirmed it.
No, no… he hadn't imagined the burst of burning crimson longing and need.
FFFFF. Oh god, guys, I am SO, SO SORRY. Q~Q You can thank Panda for kicking my ass into gear to get this posted! I've been so horrible about our posting deadlines lately, and I'm so sorry I've been making you all wait practically week after week!
This chapter is really kind of short, too. But we're here! We've finally reached the final turning point! :D Sin finally opened his god damned eyes and caught a glimpse of Milo's secret!