A/N: Greetings, and welcome to the first piece of work I've ever submitted to the site. I'll not waste your time about how nervous/proud of myself, I'd rather you just get on reading and tell me how it goes. Hope you enjoy!
On a Stormy Night
When it's late at night and pouring rain like it's going out of style, one of the last things you expect is for the doorbell to ring. Who the hell would be outside in that mess in the first place? And don't say storm chasers, because they're freaking insane. Weather reporters doesn't count either, they get paid the big bucks for that, which is incentive enough for a number of people. So yeah, got nothing? Same here…but against all odds, as I was enjoying the sound of the pouring rain, about to start the book I'd been meaning to read but had always been too distracted to actually think of reading, the doorbell to my house (well, my older sister's house really, but I was helping pay all the bills, so it kinda sorta was partially mine too!) rang, somehow making itself heard over of the frenzy outside. I swear, for whatever reason, that sound scared the crap out of me so badly that I seriously though about cursing out the person who had rung it. But after slipping on some pajama pants and a large t-shirt – sometimes, when you're home alone, it feels awesome walking around in your skivvies – and suffering the doorbell a few more times, I worked my way downstairs and summoned the courage to face the raging storm outside.
And then I froze, gaping at the person standing there, ignoring the fact that I was getting just a little bit soaked myself.
The girl standing there was a slight thing, none too tall, regardless of being around the same age as me. Her long brunette hair was drenched, as was everything else on her for that matter. She wasn't even wearing a jacket, much less possessed of an umbrella; just a long-sleeved sweater, jeans, and sandals. From the moment I opened the door, her large dark eyes held mine…I'd like to think I was decent enough at reading expressions, but even a person in a pitch black room could see the sheer distress in her eyes, and etched onto her face.
It took a drop of water striking me in the eye to get me to blink. "…Natalia?" I said. "What are you doing here?" Finally, my mouth was spitting out what my mind had been asking for the past minute or so. I knew Natalia Brighton, or at least knew of her when I went to high school with her about a year and a half ago. We share a surprisingly a large number of friends, but never associated with one another. I don't think I even talked to her, aside from that one time I asked her to borrow a dollar. I swore I'd repay her, but that didn't happen, seeing as it was a day or two before we graduated. My sister Anise had decided to stick closer to home even after our parents moved to be closer to some family, and seeing as my college was nearby, I stayed with her. I didn't know that Natalia lived around these parts, though.
Before she could say anything, and before I could gawk at her more, a small, cute sound was made. We both looked down, to Natalia's hands…or rather, the kitten that was nestled in her hands, as soaked as she was. The thing fit easily into her palms, and even despite the rain and the noise, the orange-haired feline didn't seem the tiniest bit concerned, its tail flicking about, eyes excitedly examining its new surroundings.
"Faye, I'm so sorry!" Natalia said, bringing my attention back upon her. Her voice shook, and I could tell that she was fighting off cold. "I hate to bother you like this, and at such a time, but, b-ut…" I thought that the break in her voice was her succumbing to being drenched in what felt like ice water, however that look of despair deepened. "I didn't know who else to turn to so suddenly and I needed someplace to go and I needed to get this kitten I found in the streets out of the rain and I…and I…"
Oh god. Was she about to start crying? I couldn't say for sure, but I wasn't about to wait and see. So what if I didn't really know her at all, and had no idea why Natalia had come to me of all people for shelter? Like hell I was about to let someone so distraught start bawling in front of me.
"Come in, you dork," I said, surprised at the lightness in my voice. I pulled Natalia inside, shutting the door behind her. After that, I stepped back, looking her and her little companion, before sighing softly. "Wait here sec, lemme get you guys some towels. Then you can get those clothes off and take a shower. You're freaking freezing."
"…Thank you, Faye," Natalia said. She still looked about to cry, but her expression was one of utter relief. Despite still feeling totally confused, I smiled, before rushing off.
I sat on the couch, cross-legged with arms folded. Across from me, on the coffee table, sat the kitten, wrapped up in the towel I'd gotten for it, staring at me…like it had been for the majority of the last ten minutes.
"What do you want from me!" I asked it finally, after I could ignore its gaze no longer. Its head tilted to one side, and then it mewled at me, apparently trying to use every ounce of cuteness it possessed to ensure me it was just a stupid animal and wasn't, say, plotting how it was going to kill me.
It didn't work, I'll have you know. Much, anyway.
"Look, guy…girl…thing: I don't have any string, or yarn, or fish, or birds, or whatever you happen to want. So why don't you just do what most cats do and find something to amuse yourself with, and leave me alone." The kitten stared at me for a while, as if thinking about what it was going to do, and then hopped from the table on to the couch, and then into my lap. I groaned, lifting it up and setting it aside. "No. You smell of wet you. Maybe later." But try as I might, the cat continued to attempt getting in my lap. I sighed. It's not that I didn't like animals, but I didn't want this one getting attached or anything. I didn't know if it had any diseases or anything, and like I said, I didn't have anything for a cat.
A soft giggle alerted me to Natalia's presence. I jumped, however, focused on the kitten, and blushed. "Please tell me you haven't been there for long," I said as turned to face her. I'd given her a pair of sweats and a zip up hoodie to wear, both from our old high school, and she was still drying her hair with a towel as she came to sit in the couch, far on the other side. I myself had also changed while she took her show, into a camisole and shorts. The kitten seemed to forget all about me then, rushing to Natalia's lap. I shot it a withering look, but it was too preoccupied to notice. Okay, am I really trying to spite a freaking baby cat?
"Um, sorry," she said, blushing a little herself. "But…it was cute, you fussing over it like that."
"I'm sure," I drawled, sighing heavily and shifting to face Natalia. "So, uh…are you alright, Natalia? You aren't hungry or anything?"
She shook her head. "No, I'm alright for now, Faye." Natalia paused, scratching the kitten's head, setting it to purring, before looking up to me. "And Faye…thanks so much for this. For letting me stay the night. I was just so…so upset, I was almost considering finding some place to sleep out in that storm."
"Well…it's nothing. Don't worry about it." And then after that, there was an awkward silence, save for the kitten purring. I hated being around people I didn't know well. With my friends, I was always talkative, but until I got to know you, I just always shut up and didn't know what the hell I should say. Small talk was never my forte. Thankfully, Natalia had that part handled.
"…You're probably wondering what I was doing outside in the first place, right?" She asked me, to which I nodded slowly. Natalia sighed heavily, looking down at the kitten as she played with it, whatever joy one might find from that unable to keep a look of sadness from the girl's face. It took her a moment and a little motion from me before she started. "Well, I don't want to burden you any more than I already am…"
"Just spill it," I said. Natalia blushed, and then nodded.
"Okay…so, you probably don't know, but maybe you might've heard someone we both know mention me having relationships problems?"
Haven't heard shit, I thought. "Yeah, maybe, don't really recall," I said.
"Well, yeah, me and my boyfriend Ian Stark -" I held up a hand, cutting her off. Again, I was starting at her with a dumb look. "…What?" Natalia asked.
"You said Ian Stark, right?" She nodded. "You're fucking kidding me. You mean to tell me that someone managed to get that player to stop chasing after anything with boobs?" I really hadn't meant to derail the conversation into some silly girly stuff, but I was fond of my time in high school and all the memories and junk that I was lucky enough to have. Natalia took it in stride, thankfully, bashfully tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Um, yeah…I dunno, he never really came off like that around me. He was always such a sweetheart, and a gentleman." Natalia sighed again. "But, I guess, he was still up to his old ways. To make a long story short, he dumped me."
I frowned. Normally, I would've gone on how this guy was a jerk and he didn't know what he was missing…but then, neither did I. "What reason did he give?" Was what I offered instead, hoping that my interest would be enough for Natalia.
"He didn't need to give one himself," Natalia said, voice and expression taking on a subtle but startling darkness that, frankly, creeped me right the fuck out coming from her. "Even with her mouth full, the girl that was there in his room said more than enough.
"Well damn," I said, somehow shocked where I figured I wouldn't be. So I had only 'known' Natalia for a short time, but she hadn't given me anything to warrant someone cheating on her like that. I mean, no one needs to be cheated on ever but you get my point, right? Alright, good. Anyway, Natalia nodded and opened her mouth and was just about to speak, when a though occurred to me, and I interrupted her without really meaning to. "Wait a sec. How did you get into Ian's house with him…doing that? There's no way he'd do that with family home, what with his parents being all super Christian and junk."
"Oh, right…Ian made me a spare key, so that I could get in whenever I needed to." I arched an eyebrow at Natalia, and it took the girl a moment realize what exactly my expression was hinting at, and she quickly shook her head. "N-no, it's nothing like that!"
"Right, whatever you say," I said with a roll of my eyes. However, all sense of wit and sarcasm was drained away when I noticed her expression, not embarrassed but a little sad. Noting this, Natalia went on with her story.
"…I started dating Ian in the last couple of months of our senior year. By the time graduation came, we were pretty serious. We didn't do that, though…he told me that he'd wait till we were married and everything."
"The bastard," I interjected, Natalia giving a small nod, moving on without missing a beat.
"Well, it started right after graduation, during the summer. My older sister, Maya, had this Italian boyfriend, some slightly older guy…he was pretty sweet, but the fact that he was older than my sister by at least ten years when she was just twenty-one didn't sit well with my parents. And, so, after tons of fighting, Maya decided to go elope with the guy."
"That kinda sucks."
"They went to Italy, and have a nice little chateau there."
"That really sucks."
Natalia shook her head with a rueful smile. "You're telling me. My parents pitched a fit; Maya was always going on about finding 'the love of her life' as she was growing up…I guess this time she really believed him. And maybe their feelings are genuine, I'm not sure. Whatever the case, my parents didn't like this. So there were discussions about getting her to come back. Daddy had already given up hope and was just going to wait until she let her guilt catch up with her and come home on her own. Mother, on the other hand, was adamant about flying over there, showing up in the middle of the night, and just kidnapping Maya. Like, seriously, almost," she added, when smiled at that. I blinked. I'd heard of crazy parents, but not anything that far.
"Okay, so…parents were having it out about Maya. That why Ian gave you a key?"
"Yes," Natalia answered, but then she curled up, the kitten moving and pawing at her feet in obliviousness to what was going on. "This hadn't been the first time. They'd been fighting for the longest time…mostly about bills and expenses and spontaneous purchases. My dad's a real estate broker, but hasn't been selling like he was, so money had been getting tighter and tighter, and my mom is having to start bearing more of the finical burden with her nursing job. Every day the fights would get worse and worse. Screaming, shouting, sometimes something broke…nothing like this had ever happened before now." Natalia chuckled again, and again it lacked humor. "I thought only little kids had to deal with that, parents fighting. I knew that wasn't true, of course, but I had hoped that it was the case. It was worse when something I did sparked a fight. Never meant to, but it always just happened."
Okay, that's enough, I thought. I really didn't want to have something like this dumped on me, especially so suddenly. I mean, I had no problem listening to other people's problems, but again I barely knew Natalia. As sympathetic to her plight as I was, he was just hella awkward. Besides, just talking about it seemed to bring her to the point of tears. Yet, despite all that, I just sat there, not saying anything, allowing her to go on. Sometimes, I wonder what's wrong with me.
"Eventually, my Dad grew tired of all the fighting. He left, going to the next town over to look for a job. I couldn't get him to stay, or take me with him or anything. He just said he needed some time to clear his head, and then he drove away…leaving me with Mom. At first, she acted like she didn't care that he'd just left, and she tried acting like nothing was wrong, like both he and Maya were at home. But at night, I could hear her crying in her room. And during the day? Well, she apparently though the perfect way to spite my father was to put a dent in his store of alcohol…you'd be surprised how quickly someone can become a drunk. It's like it happened overnight.
"Mom would get drunk whenever and just laid about the house, not doing anything. We fought, mostly about her getting up and doing something, getting to work on time and as sober as possible. I tried helping her, I really did, but she was always stubborn and insisted that she didn't need any help. Finally, earlier this evening, I got fed up and stormed out. I couldn't handle it anymore."
Slowly, I nodded. "And so you went to Ian…" My voice trailed off, the though not needing to be finished.
"I cursed him out for a moment, and then just drove away. But then my car broke down, and I was just so frustrated that after I called the tow man, I just started walking. Ian kept on texting and calling, so I threw my phone on the ground, so I couldn't call anyone. And then it started raining, badly…"
She fell silent, and this time a few tears did come out. I frowned, shifting closer to her so that I could rest a hand on her shoulder. I wasn't expecting her to practically lunge forward, clinging to me and sobbing. But I wasn't about to let her carry on like that, not after the day she had. So I just patted her back, shushing her and trying to comfort her. A few minutes passed before Natalia managed to calm herself, and she pulled away, wiping her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Faye," she said. "To give you all this crap, and when you barely know me…"
"Again, don't worry," I assured her, reaching for the tissues on the table for her. After she blew her nose, I said, "But I have to ask…why me?"
"Well…remember that party junior year, at Sophia's place? All those fancy invitations she gave out?" I nodded, fighting back a smile. That had been one hell of a party, if I do say so myself. "I made those. Sophia picked me to make out the guest list. So of course I had your address memorized. Before the rain started to get utterly horrendous, I remembered that and just happened to be in the area…so yeah. I'm glad that you didn't move with your parents. Otherwise I might've been stuck outside."
The kitten, seemingly knowing that it had been forgotten, hopped into Natalia's lap, mewing as loud as it could. We both looked down at it, and she smiled as she picked it up.
"Okay, your story explains everything but this annoying little brat. Where'd it come from?"
Natalia giggled softly, and I couldn't help but smile. It was actually a happy sound. "I found him in an alley on the way here. He was hiding in a pizza box next to some trash, crying his little head off. I hadn't meant to pick it up…but I just saw him shivering and afraid and sad." She shrugged. "I guess that I didn't want anyone else feeling as crappy as I was, so I took him and brought him with me." Natalia took one of the strings hanging from the hoodie and let her friend wildly paw at it. "He's cute, isn't he?"
"How do you know it's a he?"
"…Hm. You're right. I dunno." Natalia held it out to me. "Check it?"
"You're kidding, right? It's your cat, you check it!"
"It's not mine, not really. And I don't wanna...you know, touch anything."
"And you think that I do? No way, Tali." Natalia drew the cat back, setting it her lap. She was looking down, suddenly a little still. I looked at her. "What? What's wrong? If it's that big of a deal, I'll…"
"No! No, it's not that!" said Natalia quickly. She tucked her hair behind her ear again, which I figured was a typical nervous habit of hers. "It's just...you called me Tali."
"Yeah, so what?"
"No one ever calls me that, aside from family. I had trouble saying my name when I was little, apparently. And Ian used it sometimes, too…"
"Oh," was all I came back with. Good job, Faye, you're gonna make her cry again. You're such a great person!
"But it's alright, Faye." Looking up to me, Natalia smiled. "I like it. You can use it, if you'd like."
"Um…sure, if it makes you feel better."
"It does." Normally, I would've made some quip about how awkward and/or sappy this was. But I couldn't think of anything. I was busy asking myself: are me and her having a moment here? Two girls who barely were affected by the other's existence before now? It seemed like it. And it was surprisingly nice.
Then it was ruined by Natalia's stomach. It growled loudly, freaking the hell out of the kitten. She looked down, and then blushed. I sighed, folding my arms. "You told me you weren't hungry."
"And I said I was alright then," she replied. "I'm hungry now…sorry."
"If you apologize again, I'm gonna hit you," I told her, as I got up. "C'mon, I'm feeling a little hungry too. And we'll look for something for Mystery, too."
"Mystery?" Natalia asked, lifting the cat a little. I shrugged.
"Well, we don't know what it is. Better than nothing, right?" Natalia gave me a look, before chuckling and following me into the kitchen. Okay, so maybe I kind of suck at naming things. Don't give me any crap.
So after some time of searching, I found a can of tuna for Mystery, and for myself and Natalia I made of macaroni and cheese. We ate in silence, mostly because we were both pretty starving by the time I finished, but also because I didn't have anything to talk about with her, and I figured it was the same thing for her as well. The other stuff I really didn't mind…it was something like this that I was worried about.
But again, Natalia had this part covered. She finished her food, smiling. "That was good, Faye," she said. "Like, really good."
"It was just mac-and-cheese," I said, glancing up from my plate.
"Maybe, but I've had my share of the stuff, and that was the best I ever remember it. I mean, you used real cheese in it, right? Not the stuff that comes in the box?"
"…Yeah." I shrugged. "It's still nothing fancy. I just picked up a few things to cook. My sister Anise and my Dad couldn't cook anything you can't put in a microwave to save their lives, and my mom tries, but most of the stuff she puts out often barley counts at food. When it comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas, we always scramble to find out who's cooking a big enough meal."
Natalia laughed. "Well, if that was the case, you should've come to my house. My mom and dad used to cook up a storm on holidays. I swear there'd be enough stuff leftover from Thanksgiving that we wouldn't have to do it again for Christmas."
"Guess we missed out, huh?"
"A little, sadly," Natalia agreed smiling. It got a little quiet again, as I finished the last of my food. When I did, Natalia got up and took our dishes to the sink.
"Oh, don't do that," I said. "We have a dishwasher, ya know."
"It's not a big deal," she said, smiling back at me as she rolled up her sleeves and began washing the plates clean. "The dishwasher at my house is broken, so I'm used to this. Besides, this is quicker that waiting for the thing to fill up, right?"
"I still don't like you working."
"It's not work, Faye. I'm just trying to start repaying you for your kindness. This is the least I could do." There was something in her voice that told me that I wasn't going to convince her otherwise, so I sighed and got up to help her, seeing as I dirtied up the pots and pans too. Natalia smiled as I joined her, and together the work was done quickly. It felt a little weird, only because it'd been ages since I washed dishes by hand in this place, ever since that new washer had been put it. It worked like a charm. Like, nothing was ever dirty that came out of it, like it was magic.
Natalia suddenly flicked water at me, breaking me out of my rambling thoughts about how kickass my dishwasher was. I scoffed, and retaliated. She did it again, and I took the cup I was washing and tossed the little bit of water that was in it at her. She laughed.
"Don't you think I've been wet enough?"
"You're not gonna melt, Tali," I said with a smirk. "Besides, it was self-defense. You started it."
"Whatever, meanie," she said, looked down at the soaked hoodie and quickly taking it off. I watched her as she set it on the back of back of the chair…the shirt I'd given her was one of those small ones, that showed off your stomach. I'd just picked something out for her that looked like it'd fit well enough – my hoodie and sweatpants just barely stayed on her, given her slightly smaller size – and set it on the counter on the bathroom. I only noticed then that the shirt said something about Cancun. The fact that I'd never been there and that must've actually be one of Anise's shirts was my second though. My first?
My God, her tits are huge!
…Okay, so they weren't that big. C's, just pushing D's maybe, which was a wonder that she didn't fall over from being top heavy. Lower center of gravity due to being short or something like that. It's just that, compared to my small B's, and the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra since hers was soaked maybe it a little more obvious. And really, it wasn't like I spent time enough staring at other girl's chests or anything because I tended to be a little self-conscious about that. Totally wasn't that at all.
Anyway, I noticed then that having a decent bust wasn't all Natalia had going for her. She had that hourglass figure that girls wanted and guys lusted after. I suspected that she had some baggage being carried behind her in those pants.
"Something wrong?" Natalia asked me as she knelt down to pet Mystery, who'd eaten the entire can of tuna, which I had sworn couldn't have fit into its body. I shook my head, taking the dishes and putting them away.
"No, nothing. Just kinda got lost in my thoughts. It happens."
"I know," Natalia said, picking Mystery up and scratching under its chin. "Jamie says you do it a lot."
"He's told you about me?" I asked, shutting the cupboard door. I faced Natalia, folding my arms.
"Yeah. Well, at least he complains to me about you spacing during his stories." I muttered something under my breath, and Natalia laughed. "But everyone else we know talks about you a lot, and it's all good. How kind you are, how you fun to be around, how you listen when no one else will, how pretty you are."
"People say that I'm pretty?" I couldn't help but be a little shocked by that. Natalia nodded, smiling. Really, I didn't know what to say to that. People have called me 'hot' and 'sexy' and things like that, but never pretty. Not seriously, anyway. I took a breath, fighting the color and heat rising to my face.
"Yeah…Sophie, Jamie, everyone loves talking about you. And honestly? ...That's part of the reason why I came to you." Natalia stood beside me then, a little close. "The way everyone spoke, you seemed like the most awesome person that ever lived. And I had always wanted to get to know you. But whenever the chance arose, I always chickened out at the last minute."
"Why?" I asked. Did I really come off as intimidating like that? "I mean, given things now, I'd say we'd have hit it off pretty well."
"But back then, I wasn't always confident enough. I always just went along with the group, never really putting in my opinion. I was more content to just stick to the background and take care of things that people missed, like Sophie's guest list. If I hadn't done that, I doubted anyone would've known where to go, or too many people would've shown up." Natalia set Mystery down on the ground to let it run around, and when she stood back up, her gaze held mine intently. "Hell, even outside I hesitated for a moment, thinking: 'What if she turns me away? She doesn't know me; she doesn't have to be nice to me.'"
"That'd just be stupid and cruel," I said. "Beside, Tali, you had the cat with you…couldn't let either of you freeze or drown to death out there."
"Maybe, that still doesn't change the fact that you helped me when you didn't have to. And you listened to me, and you're letting me stay the night. You're everything that they said you were." Natalia smiled at me, and I smiled back. It was hard getting such praise like that. It was like I'd changed her whole world…and I guess I did, even if it was only a short term thing. She'd have to go back home and get her car business sorted out, and she'd still have to cope with losing Ian. But yes, for right now, I'd done her the greatest service I could.
"Thanks," I told her after a moment. "I'm glad that I could help." I really was; I think it'd be safe to consider us friends now, even only after about an hour or so of real contact. It got me wondering, why hadn't I ever thought to get to know her before? It wasn't like anything had been stopping me. But I guess back then, she was always with someone, having a good old time, and I figured that she was always occupied and maybe see me as a nuisance or something. Apparently I was wrong, as she wanted to get to know me more than I had her. Hindsight can really be a bitch sometimes. "And if anything else happens, Tali, I'm always open to -"
I wasn't able to finish my thought. Or even hold onto it, really. What happened next totally robbed me of conscious actions. Of all the things to happen that night, that was the last thing that I'd ever, ever think of occurring.
Natalia had suddenly stepped closer to me, leaning up so that she could kiss me.
I could only blink, look down at her as she held it, seemingly oblivious to how my body tensed in utter shock and surprise. Now, I've kissed a girl before, while I was a little tipsy at a little get together that was happening. It wasn't anything serious, just a rather quick peck on the lips, much to the delight of all those who happened to be watching. But that was a one-time thing, a spur of the moment action that I didn't ever think much of. After that, only guys had the pleasure of entertaining me with a kiss.
But this wasn't some random occurrence (well it was, but in a different sense of the word) or the wanton make-out session with the numerous guys who I won't go into detail about. Natalia's kiss was soft and gentle, but full of emotion. I swear I could feel it…to her, this kiss meant much more anything at the moment. There was happiness, a bit of apprehension, satisfaction and delight, all underlined with a current of barely restrained passion. I had to close my eyes, feeling just a tiny bit dizzy. It was like all of Natalia's feelings were flooding into me, intoxicating. Or was it me that was feeling a bunch of things? Jeez…was I enjoying this?
I really didn't know or keep track of how long this went on, but finally Natalia pulled away, just a bit. I exhaled softly, my breath shaky; hadn't even realized that my body had relaxed, and I had to wonder if I had kissed her back at some point. I really didn't know…my mind was in a confused haze. I looked into Natalia's big dark eyes, and she back into my icy blues. She was searching, I could tell; searching my thoughts, wanting to see what I thought about the kiss. She wouldn't find anything, however, given how freaking addled I was. And when I was finally able to think full thoughts and form words?
"Ah, uh," I said, turning away quickly. I glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's late. I've been up since early this morning, I'm really tired, Natalia." When I spoke, the words spilled out in a rush, as if trying to match the pace of my racing heart. Natalia frowned. I saw from the corner of my eye, and she made a move. I stepped away, using the need to drain the sink and put the pots away as an excuse to keep from having to deal with this. "Don't worry, I'll finish up here. I'll be alright. You can have my bed, my room's right before the bathroom. I'll sleep on the couch; was going to do that anyway."
Natalia was still and silent for a moment, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her, lest I see the look of hurt that just had to be on her face. "Alright," she said, and it freaked me out how I couldn't tell anything from her voice. It didn't sound sad, but it sure as hell wasn't happy either. "Goodnight then, Faye. I'll see you in the morning. C'mon, Mystery." After collecting the kitten, she went upstairs. I waited until I couldn't hear her moving anymore, before practically collapsing. I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe that I just did her wrong like that, made her night worse than it had been, and after we started becoming friends. If I were her, I'd have screamed at me, maybe stormed out again. Lord knows I was screaming at myself in my head. But what did she want me to do? I didn't work well with things suddenly being sprung on me like that. And that's nothing compared to the fact that I'd just been kissed by another girl. I was straight, the last time I checked. Hadn't ever entertain thoughts of dating another girl or otherwise, unless it was joke. This wasn't a joke, however…this had actually happened, and I was so confused right now that I just wanted to curl up and pretend it didn't happen.
Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Just curl up and forget it happened. Who knows, maybe Natalia would do the same? It was better than a disaster. More than this one, anyway. After I dried and put away the rest of the stuff in the sink, I laid myself on the couch and closed my eyes. I really had been up all day, though not doing much of anything aside from a little bit of cleaning, so that coupled with the drone of the rain – which had gotten stronger now – lulled me to sleep.
BOOM! The sound of thunder shook the house, waking me up instantly. I hadn't been awake for more than a few seconds, and I kind of wanted to cry already. I was okay with thunder off in the distance, but when it sounded this close is when I started to panic. I used to have bad dreams about being in really bad storms when I was little. I blame the movies Twister and Wizard of Oz. That last one lied, especially. You didn't go on fantastic adventures in fantasy land when you get caught in a tornado. You freaking died is what you did.
Trying to keep my composure and not have a heart attack, I swear I saw something moving on the chair. I screamed a little, scrambling back…until a faint mewl sounded out. All my anxiety was replaced by anger when throwing back the covers I had revealed Mystery.
"Freaking animal," I muttered angrily, scooping the thing up. Lightning flashed in the darkness, and there was only a few seconds pause before another round of thunder came. This time, it only shook the house a little bit…but it was still too much for me. And apparently it was too much for Mystery too, because the poor little thing was shaking. "If you're so scared, why aren't you curled up with Tali or something?"
Ooh, wrong thing to say. Mentioning Natalia right away made me feel terrible, and it wasn't enough that I had been dreaming about her before the thunder woke me. And no, it wasn't a nice dream either. I'll spare you most of the details, save for that I got to watch myself reject her advances over and over and over again, followed by various depressing outcomes of that. It was terrible. I have a bad habit of trying to be on everyone's good side, I'll admit, and that makes it hard for to accept needing to hurt anyone's feelings, even if they deserved it, even if it necessary to be done to keep a situation from happening. This was one of those occasions…at least, I thought it was. I admired Natalia's bravery for pulling something like that, but I didn't know how else to respond to it. I'm not a lesbian, or bisexual. I've only ever dated guys. I enjoyed guys. I fawned over whoever was the cutest male around with the rest of my friends. The only reason I ever looked at girls was to compare myself to them, wishing I had this person's legs or eyes or lips or something else about myself I wasn't liking at the moment. There was never anything attractive about that like I'd see in a guy. Which only served to confused me more seeing as I wasn't sure if I had enjoyed that kiss or not. I mean, I felt…things, when it happened, but I was too startled to discern whether those were my feelings or what I though Natalia was putting into it. God, why do things like this have to be so complicated?
Mystery mewed at me, and I looked down at it. "What?" I asked, at the moment not caring that I was again talking to the thing that couldn't understand me. Mystery wiggled about in my hand, and I set it down. It shot off ahead…into my room, of which the door was cracked upon just enough to let it come and go as it pleased. I blinked. I didn't even realize that I had been heading upstairs. Or, maybe I did, because whenever a storm got bad enough, I'd hang out with Anise, and I just sort of automatically sought her out. But she was visiting an old friend of hers, and wouldn't be back home until late tomorrow.
This meant that, in some subconscious part of my mind, I had probably walked upstairs in the middle of my thoughts to seek comfort from Natalia.
Well, it was only natural, right? The storm had me on edge, and I was used to someone being around help me relax. It's just that the only person available was the one whose feelings I had rejected earlier. Thankfully, since I was already there, going and apologizing was the best thing to do. And if we started talking about this, I was certain it'd be enough to help me forget about the storm, as long as it kept quiet. But then, what do I say? 'I'm sorry for breaking your heart back there, so do you mind letting me sleep with you cuz I'm a massive baby?' Yeah, right, like that was gonna work out so well.
I started pacing back and forth, heart hammering in my chest. Really, why was this so hard? Why couldn't everything be simple enough to sort out, at least for the time being!
"…Faye?" I jumped, muttering a curse. The door cracked open a little, revealing Natalia. It was dark, so I couldn't really see her face too well. It was then that I noticed that the digital clock in my room wasn't on, which meant that the power was probably out. Blinking, I rubbed my arm nervously.
"Um, hey!" Oh God, I sounded so lame with that. Trying to play things off was not really my forte, either. "The lighting woke me up, and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to come see if you were alright. Also, I think the power's out."
Much to my surprise, Natalia laughed a little. "Yeah, I noticed it when I tried to turn the TV on a while ago. I couldn't get to sleep at all." She moved aside, opening the door wide enough for me. Nodding to her, I entered. I guess she either was over what happened, was trying to pretend like it didn't happen for both our sakes, or trying to make feel guilty by forcing being nice. All of the above, possibly, somehow?
I rummaged through a few things in my desk, before finally finding the flashlight I had in there, just in case we really needed. I then sat down on the bed, and Natalia sat with me, Mystery sitting in her hands. Normally, in that moment of silence that followed, I would've stumbled through an apology right away. I don't like keeping things until the last minute. However, lightning struck again, and I couldn't help but flinch at it. Natalia giggled…just what I needed, her making fun of me.
"You don't like storms, do you?" She asked, setting Mystery down to play.
"They haven't done anything positive for me, no," I replied. Natalia laughed again.
"And you came up here to see if I was awake, so that I could distract you." The words kind of sounded like a question, but she stated it more like a fact. What, had she been reading my mind? "Don't worry, Faye, I used to babysit this little kid like you. Whenever there was a storm, he'd try to play it off, but I could tell he was terrified." I opened my mouth to protest that I wasn't terrified, but I stopped, because I was, and lying is wrong. Natalia patted my keens, and I could just tell that she was smirking into the darkness. I would've sneered back at her…if having her hand there wasn't oddly comforting. In fact, I only noticed then that since she started talking to me, I hadn't once thought of the lighting. It was like she was magic, or something. I call witchcraft.
Sighing again, I turned to face Natalia, able to see a little better with my eyes having adjusted to the dark. "Tali, look…I did come up here so that you could distract me. But that was only the second reason. The first reason was…"
"Me kissing you?" She finished for me. I nodded slowly, fidgeting uneasily.
"Yeah. Tali…Natalia…I'm sorry about how I reacted, if it upset you. It's just…nothing like that's ever happened before."
Natalia shook her head, smiling a little. "No, I should be the one apologizing, Faye. I should've have suddenly done that to you, without warning. I got caught up in my feelings, and let them take over. I noticed you looking at me, and I thought that maybe…" She shook her head, and took my hand then, lacing her fingers with mine. I swallowed silently, trying to be calm and not jump to any conclusions. Not that I'd need to do that, when her next words would do that for me. "Faye…I didn't tell you the whole truth, when I told you why I never talked to you. All of what I said still fits, but it was all because I had a serious crush on you in high school. And yes, that means I like girls. I never had any problems with my orientation, not really. But after we graduated, and I thought that I'd move on and be able to meet someone that I wasn't afraid to approach, I couldn't. I always was thinking about you…wondering what you were doing, if you were alright, if you ever thought about me or knew that I existed at all. I just couldn't let it go. And then, being here with you, alone, connecting like we were old friends, made me think that there might've been a chance for something." Natalia sighed, letting my hand go. "But I guess I was just letting my feelings get the better of me."
Really, I had nothing to say to any of that. It wasn't the fact that it was a girl that was confessing to me – though that did have some part to play, of course – but the fact that Natalia was confessing at all. I'd heard her words. They were earnest, sincere, her true feelings. No one, guy or girl, had ever given me their all like that, not all the way from the bottom of their hearts.
I remained silent for a long while, still speechless. Seriously, this whole evening had been throwing me for a terrible loop. Natalia patiently waited, though, for which I was thankful. I'd have probably freaked out and shut down if she'd tried pushing anything out of me.
Finally, I found my voice. "Tali…I'm flattered. Like, really, I am. But I dunno what to do. I mean, I'm not gay. At least, I wasn't the last time I checked." I saw Natalia's posture lessen just a little, and mentally struck myself. "But at the same time…when you kissed me…I think that, I might've liked it…"
"You did?" said Natalia, probably knowing that she sounded all too eager to hear that.
"I don't know," I said honestly. "It was just like, a jumble of stuff going on in my head then. It's not like I hated it…but Natalia, I don't want to tell you that I did like it, and lead you on. Maybe it could've been my sympathizing with all the crap you've been through. And if that happens to be the case, I don't want to start anything based on that, even if it was just a simple friendship."
"…I see," Natalia said, as she took Mystery and set the kitten on the floor, where it promptly went under the bed to mess with something it saw. When she came back up, she was looking at me intently. I shifted under her gaze, unable to read it at all.
"So yeah," I said, rubbing my arm. "It was just all so sudden that I couldn't process it all then, and -"
I should have known. I should've known that something like that might happen again. Looking back, it seemed like the logical thing to guess. But once again Natalia moved suddenly at me. She didn't kiss me, but the other girl took hold of my wrists, pushing me back down onto the bed, straddling me. I began to protest, but Natalia put a finger to my lips, and I stupidly obeyed.
"You listened to me before, Faye, and I want you to listen just a little but longer, okay?" I nodded. "Good. Now Faye, I understand everything that you said, and I know that the chances of anything happening between us is unlikely. But I love you, Faye, and I've been dreaming of something like this happening for a long time, and I can't help but try, even if this is forcing it a little." Brushing some loose strands of my auburn hair from my face, Natalia smiled. "You said that this was all too sudden, right? Well, if you know what's coming, maybe you'll feel differently?" I blinked up her, and then nodded again. "Well then, Faye…can I kiss you again?"
Part of me wanted to protest, the part of me that was also saying that this entire situation was just a little too out there to really be happening. But in the end the rest of me one out. The part that didn't want to disappoint Natalia, to hurt her, the part that wanted to find out if I felt anything from this, or if I was just doing this out of pity – all backed by the part of me that just said 'screw it, I'm gonna kiss her and get it over with!'.
I nodded third time. Natalia smiled, carefully leaned down, and once again her lips were upon mind. As conscious as I was of this, at the start I sort just just laid there and let it happen. But after closing my eyes and just letting go of everything…I started kissing Natalia back.
And I liked it. A lot.
It was kind of scary, when I realized that. I knew tons of people whom preferred the same sex, and didn't have a problem with it in the first place…but when it came to me, where I had always thought of myself straight without a shadow of a doubt, it was confusing. But as Natalia ever so slowly broke away, I figured, maybe I'm not completely turned. Maybe, it was just Natalia that was making me feel this way, like all these outrageous happening going on were okay.
"Feel anything?" asked Natalia, as she climbed off of me, letting me sit up. Did I really feel dizzy?
"Uh…yeah. I did."
"And?"
"And…?" I paused, looking down for a moment. "And, I want to make sure…" I had little idea what I was doing, until I was pulling Natalia to me and kissing her for a change. And right away, I felt it. That rightness that I'd felt before, that there was nothing wrong with this, that there was definitely something there. I accepted it then, even if I still really couldn't believe it. Natalia started kissing back then, quite a bit more deeply than I'd been expecting. I pulled away out of reflex, and she sort of lurched forward. Catching herself, she looked at me, and then looked away; there was no way that she wasn't blushing then.
"Oh…sorry about that." I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't help but laugh at her. And after a moment, she was laughing as well. We went on like that for a moment, before I was able to calm down, and remember what I had come up here for. There was flash, and again thunder crashed again. Absently, I noted that it was just a tiny bit quieter, but nowhere near enough for me to feel safe about it. Natalia smiled at me, taking my hand again. This time I didn't have any problem with it, instantly feeling comforted by the contact. "Faye, do you wanna share the bed? There's more than enough room for the both of us."
"Yeah, I think I'd like that," I said, smiling sheepishly. I've only ever had to share bed space with Anise when we were young, and we lived in an apartment. I'd never used a bed during sleepovers, and never spent the night over at a guy's house late enough to constitute using the bed for sleeping instead of making out, but even given all that, I wasn't worried about this at all like I might've been earlier this evening. Natalia slipped back beneath the covers, and held them up for me to do the same beside her. After getting in, she shifted closer to me. I smiled at her, and took her hand, and she smiled back before kissing me softly.
"Goodnight, Faye."
"Night, Tali."
There was a short pause, before she said softly. "I love you."
"Doesn't everyone?" I replied with a grin. "But seriously…I guess I do too, if that's possible so quickly."
"Let's just go with 'kind of' and leave it at that for the time being?" said Natalia, to which I nodded emphatically. We kissed once more, before be both moved closer to one another, and closed our eyes, forgetting everything and trying to get some rest.
I think one of the best kinds of sleeps, are the ones where you don't remember actually passing out, but you wake up feeling totally refreshed, not caring that maybe you could've enjoyed a few minutes more. I stretched and yawned, mind defaulting to its usual mode of deciding if I had anything to do today, or if I could just lay back down in bed and do nothing for another couple of minutes. After going ahead on choosing the later because I felt like it, he went back under the covers.
And only then did I realize that Natalia was missing, everything that'd happened from the night before coming back to me. I sat up again, and despite myself I panicked a little. She couldn't just up and leave after everything, could she? There wasn't even a note or anything!
But I was able to calm myself down as two things happened. One, I became aware to the sound of rain, and soft thunder. It was still raining pretty hard, only at seventy-five percent of what it was last night…still not anything I'd advise going out in, especially since it was bound to be pretty flooded in places. Second, I heard scratching coming from underneath my bed. I smiled, and crawled over to the edge, peering under. Mystery was busy attacking the hell out of one of my old shoes, but gave up when it finally noticed me and came to greet me. I picked it up and held him, smiling. "Morning, you little brat," I said, petting it and enjoying the feel of its purr. "Right now, if you were a dog, I'd go tell you to find Natalia for me. But you just a stupid cat, sadly." I paused, and then set Mystery down. "But hey, maybe you could try?" I waited, but Mystery decided that attacking my foot was more important than anything else. I sighed, muttering about how useless it was, when I heard footsteps coming upstairs. I swear, I was like a nerd a convention about to meet the actor who played their favorite character in person. It was all I could do to keep still and not jump out of bed and assault Natalia and thank her for not having left me.
Good thing I didn't, because she appeared with a bright smile on her face…and two plates of scrambled eggs and buttered toast, both balanced on one arm, and two cups full of hot chocolate with the other hand. She grinned at me, setting it all down on the desk beside my bed. "Waiting at a restaurant isn't as useless a job as it seems," she said, coming over to me, hugging me and kissing me; I suspected that it had only meant to be a light peck at first, but it deepened considerably instead. My stomach did flips all the while, and my pulse quickened. I shouldn't be enjoying this so much, but I couldn't help it. "Good morning," said Natalia upon pulling herself away from me.
"Very good, indeed," I replied, a little breathless. I looked to Natalia as we shared a laugh, and then to the food. "You know you didn't have to do this for me."
"I didn't do it just for you, Faye," Natalia said as she handed me a plate, and pulled a fork from her pocket. "I was hungry. And I was going to let you make something, or even ask what you wanted…but you sleep like a rock."
"At least I'm cuddlier than a rock, right?" I asked as Natalia moved to get her food. She rolled her eyes, but smiled. Seeing her smile sent a shiver through my spine. Whereas before Natalia was just a faint presence, a satellite floating about the fringe of my world, I was now acutely aware of her. I watcher her carefully, taking in every movement, every little detail of everything she did…that satellite crashed into my world, changed it irrevocably in an instant. I could only marvel at how quickly this had happened, though. I just couldn't wrap my head around it, and as such I just mentally shrugged and tried to go with it. Was I wrong to let myself get caught up in this…in Natalia? Did I really feel something between us, or was this a manifestation of my penchant to please everyone tricking me into keeping her happy?
"You're thinking too much, Faye," said Natalia. I blinked, realized that I must have just blanked out, and blushed a little. She chuckled lightly, poking her eggs with her own fork. "You're pretty easy to read, just letting you know."
"I can tell our relationship is gonna be so much fun," I said sarcastically, biting into a slice of toast.
"Oh, don't be like that! It's good, in a way…it means that you're honest. You don't like hiding things." I thought about that for moment, instead of cracking wise in dismissal. It was true, more or less. It was part of why I came upstairs last night…I had wanted to be straight with Natalia about how I felt when she first kissed me, instead of hiding behind that invisible ruse that nothing had happened. And really, Natalia wasn't the first person to read me like that…she was just the first person to find a positive quality to offset the negative. I found myself smiling, and this time when Natalia gave me a look I didn't answer, seeing as she probably knew what it was for, anyway.
We ate breakfast together, and after that we went downstairs to watch TV since the electricity had thankfully been restored sometime while we were sleeping. Well, I watched TV, anyway; Natalia used the phone to call home and tell her mom that she was alright, followed by a call to her dad. I tried to focus on the news and the details of the storm damage in the area, but I couldn't help but pay attention to Natalia's demeanor, if not exactly all the words that she said. With her mother, Natalia was tense, careful. She fought to keep her tone level, be reasonable with her mother, whom had apparently jumped to the conclusion that she'd run off like Maya had. I figured that she might've been drunk to some degree, even this early in the morning. The call with her father went better…but only marginally so. Much of the cheer and goodwill she gave was forced. And when I glanced at her, as she was discussing when she might be able to drop by wherever he was staying, I could tell that she was just barely holding it together, pretty much like she was doing with her family. I frowned, changing the channel to a random cartoon as Natalia hung up the phone. She didn't need the news' depressing offerings right now.
Natalia came to sit with me, laying out and resting her head on my lap. Gently, I began playing with her hair, which she seemed to enjoy. On my other side, Mystery was thankfully entertaining itself with a ball I'd found and given to it, instead of being a nuisance. Its antics were quite interesting, as it played and explored, and eventually Natalia and I both gave up watching TV to watch him (especially because, at that point, he was watching something move back and forth at the screen, and eventually tried attacking the characters on the screen.)
When she calmed down from laughing, Natalia said, "I checked him out, before I made us breakfast. He's a boy."
"Is that so?" I said, still playing with her hair. She twisted so that she was looking up at me, and I returned her gaze. "You did wash your hands, right?"
"Ugh, of course," she said, laughing a little more. "I mean, he did pee on me a little…"
"Nasty! I don't think I want you on me anymore, Tali. Move," I tried getting away from her, but she slipped her arms around me, holding me fast.
"Don't leave me," she pleaded playfully. Natalia pulled herself up, kissing me lovingly. I had planned to fight back, but that plan failed utterly as I melted into her, kissing back. I pulled away from her after a moment, but only slightly. Our lips were dangerously close, as I spoke to her.
"Leave you? I doubt I could even let you out of my sight long enough to use the bathroom right now."
Natalia seemed a little surprised to hear that, but she took it in stride. "Do you really mean that?" She asked carefully. I nodded, resting one of my hands upon hers.
"Yeah…I really don't know where it came from, but I find myself dreadfully attracted to you." I paused for a moment, unconsciously pulling away from Natalia some. "It's kinda scary, actually. Not that I feel anything, though, that part I love. Just that, I'm worried that I might be fooling myself in some way. That this is some random thing I'm getting into on a whim. That I might just be indulging you, and that later on, I'll let you down somehow." I was strangely relieved when Natalia pulled back, looking down as she'd consider this. If she'd have done what I imagined she'd do – beg me to keep this going, that she'd do anything to make things work – I'd have agreed, and it wouldn't have helped me at all. I waited, absently tracing shapes along Natalia's skin, glancing at Mystery to make sure it – He, now, I reminded myself – wasn't getting into anything troublesome. It seemed much longer an instant than it was, maybe because I was just anxious as to what she'd say.
"I understand where you're coming from, Faye," Natalia said. "I've watched you from afar for the longest time, time enough for my feelings to grow continually…while you didn't know anything about me, and only have our interactions now to go on." Sighing softly, she took my hand, nuzzling it against her cheek. "But, Faye, I don't think there's anything to worry about. You've taken care of me since I've shown up…you care about me, really and truly. I feel that, in your touches, in your kisses." She took my hand and kissed it softly, sending electricity surging through my arm. Natalia's eyes watched me as I shivered. "And I see it, too. You care a lot about everyone, as people and individuals…but would you react that way for just anyone?" Natalia kissed my hand again, and then did the same with the other. She pulled me close then, and then placed numerous kisses upon my neck. My eyes fluttered closed, and I could not stop the pleased sounds that escaped me. As usual, Natalia was right about me. I was an open person, and everyone that strove to be a positive influence in my life received kindness and compassion from my part. Given that, I didn't just hand myself out anyone arbitrarily…numerous guys I'd indulged myself in found that at the hard way. It took more than looks and sweet words to get past first base, not that they'd get much further than that even with true feelings.
But it was different with Natalia. She wasn't totally right, that I didn't knew she existed back that. Though I never approach her, I did noticed her from time to time. Noticed how beautiful she so often looked, compared her to myself; noticed how she had the same wonderful friends I did, even though she was often quiet and gentle, again compared to me in how I had always been loud, outrageous, the life of the party. There had been times, usually when I was lamenting not being as pretty as Natalia or someone else, that I felt that the only reason some of the people who hung out with me did so because I was always in the spotlight, always was at where the fun was. And even though Natalia was often a part of the fun too, she was always just going with the flow, never having to show out to feel like she was included…and I envied that. I guess, when she showed up at my door, I felt honored – honored that she didn't see me in the light I saw myself, enough so that she came to meek seeking solace…as irrational as that thinking was, seeing as how everyone sung my praises all the time apparently.
"You're thinking too much again," Natalia said.
"It's your fault," I replied, after releasing the breath I didn't know I had been holding. I gazed up at her, for at some point she'd carefully laid me back on the couch. "You make me think a lot. You do know that I barely graduated, right?"
"Don't sell yourself so short! You're brilliant, Faye. And your charm doesn't solely lie in your brains."
"And this is coming from Ms. Valedictorian," I drawled, sticking my tongue out Natalia as she rolled her eyes. I grinned, beckoning her, and she came, kissing me ever so deeply. And I kissed her back, not a single trace of doubt in my mind. I wanted this. I wanted her, just as she wanted me. It may have started suddenly, but at the same time I guess that this had been long in the making for the both of us. The storm was just a very stark and unconcerned catalyst. Everything was right, and there wasn't anything that could've ruined it…
And then fate decided to be dick. Natalia and I parted from out kiss as Mystery began mewling loudly. We both looked at him, just sitting there by the couch and making noise at us.
"I think he's hungry," Natalia mused.
"Didn't we already feed him?"
"That was last night, Faye."
"And? He'll be alright." Natalia gave me a look, before getting off of me and heading into the kitchen. Mystery stopped making noise, but stayed, once again looking at me. I glared at him. "I hate you. So much right now." The kitten merely mewed again, all innocence and cuteness. You see, this is why I sometimes hated animals. Once they got to you with their adorable ploy, they never let you go, especially stay ones.
But then, Mystery wasn't the only stray I picked up, if you looked at the situation in another way or two. "…You get a pass," I whispered to Mystery, reaching out and petting him just as Natalia returned with another can of tuna for him. He purred, loving the attention. "But only because of Natalia. Count yourself lucky."
I had to smile. I certainly thought I was lucky.