A story of death, and how it affects those who are left behind.


Denial

Mother- It had to be a nightmare. It just couldn't be true. Her son couldn't be dead. Any minute she'd open her eyes, and she'd go to his room, and he'd be there, sleeping soundly, his cat curled up at his feet as if it was a dog. She would tell him to get up and go to school, and he would grumble and groan and complain until she threatened to send him to military school like she did every morning. They both knew she didn't mean it, but he pretended every morning that it scared him enough to get him out of bed. Her son was a happy boy, she told herself. He had no reason to go away, no reason to die. The two of them were happy together here at home, absolutely no reason for him to die. Which was fine, since he couldn't possible be dead. He wasn't dead. She wiped away those silly tears that were trailing down her face and banished the hollow ache in heart. Her son wasn't dead, this was all just a scary dream, and any moment now she would wake, and her son would be there beside her.

Anger

Girlfriend- How could this have happened to her? It wasn't fair! She had loved him! She had loved him and he had left her, left her all on her own! She clutched the bear he had given her for her last birthday tighter to her chest, her jaw clenched in anger that was contradicted by the salty tears trailing down her face. No, it wasn't his fault that he was gone. It was the fault of the one that had bullied him, the one who had made him think he wasn't worth having his own life. The anger boiled in her stomach and she sobbed loudly as she thought of the one who had driven her beloved to death. She would make him pay for what he had done, she would make him suffer like they had suffered. They had loved each other, but he had taken that away from them. He had driven them apart, and now he was gone. Her one true love. The boy she had planned to marry and raise her children with. And now all those dreams were gone. She screamed loudly, and her little brother came running into the room, trying to comfort her. But she was beyond inconsolable, and she pushed the little ten year old away, her anger now misplaced towards him. How could this have happened to her? How could it have happened to him? It wasn't fair! She would never feel his lips against hers again, never feel his warm and loving arms wrapped around her waist. They would never again spend a breathless night together, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears. She would never look into his chocolate eyes and brush her hand through his soft black hair. It wasn't fair.

Bargaining

Best Friend- He lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, in a state of disbelief and grief. His best friend, his right wing, his loyal sidekick, was dead. And he hadn't just died in a terrible accident, or been violently killed. He had killed himself. He had decided that he couldn't take it anymore and that nothing was worth staying alive. Not his mother, and not his girlfriend. And not him. He had not been enough to keep his best friend alive. Just one more day, he told himself. Bring him back, for just one day, so that I can try and stop him. Just one hour even. Thats all he needed. One hours notice so that he could have ran from the store he worked at and run to the bridge that his friend had jumped from. Pulled him from the ledge and told him he didn't need to die, and that he would fight away all the ones that told him otherwise. Or even just one more minute, to say goodbye. To tell him that he would miss him and that he was sorry for not being there for him. He rolled over onto his side and brought his knees to his chest. He tasted something salty on his tongue. This was ridiculous. Boys his age didn't cry. But maybe they did when they lost the one they had grown up, the one they played baseball with when they were kids, the one who they did all the secret things that teenagers do together. The one they laughed with, the one they felt anger with towards a teacher, and the one that had left a note saying he was sorry he wouldn't be there anymore. So he could cry if he wanted. He had lost his best friend, and now he was alone. All he wanted, was one more day. One day to go back and change it all.

Depression-

The one who caused it- He had never thought it would go this far. He hadn't meant for it go this far. It had started off so small, and grown into something so big. Occasionally he would call him a nasty name, or purposely bump into him the hallway. Then, he'd realized the thrill he got from seeing how the other boy's eyes widened in fear when he came towards him. He laughed at the messures the boy took to make sure they didn't cross paths. So he began to beat him a bit harder, call him nastier names, and tell him nasty things. Then it reached its peak. He beat him until he bled and couldn't stand. He told him he didn't deserve to live, and that no one would miss him. Told him the whole world would just be better off if he was dead. And now he was. He had killed himself. And it was his fault. His soul hurt with the understanding that he had caused this, and that there was no way to go back and change it. I'm sorry, he told himself, and he said it outloud too, hoping wherever the boy was now, he heard him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. His hands rested in his palms as he stared down at his desk, repeating it over in his head. He hadn't meant for it to go this far! Why had he let him hurt him? Why hadn't he fought back, or told the police, or...something? Why had he let him do it? He wouldn't have done it if he had known it would go this far! But there was no way to change it, and the blackness in his heart spread through the rest of his soul. He know understood the lure of what he had done to himself. He had ended it all, and he wanted it all to end too.

Acceptance

Him- He looked around before he climbed up onto the rail. He had to make sure there was no one around to stop him. Because this was the only way now, the only way to end the pain and the hurt. He couldn't take it anymore, couldn't go back another day. He had to end it all. But he accepted it now, that this was his only chance of getting away from him, the one who told him all the things that had driven to do this. He looked up at the clouds silently, the wind blowing his hair softly in it's breeze. Please, he said to God. Let me come to be with you. Let this all end, here and now. He closed his eyes and thought of those he would leave behind. Not many. His mother, his girlfriend, and his best friend. But they were strong, and he knew they could move on. They wouldn't miss him much anyway. They would be okay. Still, he felt he needed to apologize for what he was about to do. I'm sorry, he told them, thinking of each of them. His beautiful girlfriend, and all the kisses and moments they had shared. His best friend, the one he had spent every day of his life with. And his mother. The one who had brought him into this world, and raised him all on her own. The one he was betraying now by taking himself out of it. I'm sorry, he told them. I'm sorry. But he knew he musn't dwell on it, or else he would change his mind and come down. And he couldn't return, couldn't listen to the voices telling him he wasn't worth the life he had been given. Couldn't breath another day in pain as his best friend and girlfriend washed his injuries, cleaned them up and told him he would be alright. He remembered the anger that would flash across his friends face when he saw what he had been done. Sometimes he would storm off and come back just as bloody and bruised as him. And his girlfriend's concern as she cleaned him up, the tears that washed down her face as she made him promise he wouldn't do anything stupid. He had promised, but here he was. And he had to stop thinking about it. So he shut his eyes and felt the wind blow around him, like a blanket of safety and comfort. He wiped away all thoughts of the ones he would miss, and told himself again, this was the only way. And he had accepted that. He jumped a moment later, and all he felt was a few split seconds of pure peace before it all ended.


Well, that was depressing. But I like it. I'm kinda wondering if I should expand it into a novel, show in depth what had happened, and how they will react with him gone. How long will the mother stay in denial? What will the girlfriend do to make the bully pay? How will the best friend cope with everyday when those days no longer contain his best friend? Will the bully kill himself? I guess we'll probably never know.