Always Something

Today I gave you a flag of white
Today was the day I ran away
Today I learned I could no longer fight
Today begins and ends in dismay.

I try so hard to you apologize
But in my throat the words get stuck
Because for you I cannot sympathize
For my feelings you seem to duck.

No matter how many times I've tried
To take a moment away just for you
A moment for me you cannot provide
Leaving me feeling hurt and blue.

I've spent my time all full of hope
That maybe one day this will change...
But I see that it won't, I cannot cope
And it's time my life I rearrange.

All my belongings I start to pack...
I'll play your games and simply disappear
This love has fallen far off the track
And it's simply because you're never here.

Like every year with all of its seasons
You have an excuse for every situation
Stuffing me full of all of your reasons
Perhaps to lower my high expectations

But this love has started to become rotten
This love has begun to grow bitterly cold
Love cannot exist when one feels forgotten
And I'm not someone who can be bought or sold

So don't send me gifts, as surely you'll lose
My affections when I think you're bribing.
I'm running away to heal my heart's biggest bruise—
The truth hidden behind the lie you're describing.

I loved you to pieces, but I just can't go on
Not when it seems you're so far ahead of me
I loved you to death but it seems that's all gone
Because my agony you simply refused to see.

Please take your stories and just go away
And leave me lying here wounded on the floor
Please know that with you I can no longer stay
I beg of you to never hurt me anymore.

Turn your back and learn how away to walk
Never look over your shoulder to see if I'm there
Please don't wait up for me or bother to stalk
And if we meet in passing, do not stop and stare

I know your heart will learn to heal with time
And I hope that maybe one day I'll heal as well
But to stay with you would be a passionate crime
Murdering my heart and plummeting me to hell.

Watery eyes cannot plunge me down into guilt
A broken voice will not bring me "home"
Against me the odds you have constantly tilt
And what you think of me you have shown.

It's time this spirit learns how to live
And dry these eyes that are eternally wet
It was always something, I'll learn to forgive...
But that doesn't mean I'll ever forget.