Rapunzel: The Wrong Question = The Right Ending

As told by Hally Cambell

So, again with the Once Upon A Time. If the Grimm Brothers were such brilliant writers, than why couldn't they come up with a different opening sentence? Anyways, on with the story; so there was this couple that wanted a child really, really, really, badly and finally they got their wish and the wife was pregnant.

The first problem of this little story: They live next door to an enchantress who is greatly feared in all the land. I think that might be a make or break in real estate to me, but apparently they were okay with raising a child next door to a witch.

So as this chick is looking out her window into the enchantress's beautiful garden she sees rampion growing and tells her husband that if she doesn't have some of that fresh rampion she will die. Drama Queen.

So the husband, either being very loving or a push over, I'm not sure which, climbs over the wall that surrounds the witch's garden and steals some of her rampion. When his wife eats it, it's so good that she craves it three times as more the next day.

So once again the dutiful husband climbs into the enchantress Mother Gothel's garden. This time she catches him and declares, probably in an overdramatic villainy voice, "How can you dare descend into my garden and steal my rampion like a thief? You shall suffer for it"

He begs her to understand, explaining that his wife needed the rampion and he would not have taken it if it wasn't an emergency. So the enchantress decides to go easy on him and says that she will let him have all of the rampion he wants in exchange for his wife's first born child, promising that she will care for it as if it were her own.

Terrified for his life the man agrees and hurries back to his demanding woman. As soon as the baby is born Mother Gothel comes and naming the baby Rapunzel takes her away.

Apparently Rapunzel grew to be very very beautiful and when she was twelve years old Mother Gothel locked her away in a tower with no stairs or door, only a window.

And when Mother Gothel wanted to get in the tower she would stand under neath the window and call, "Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair." Now I want to know what this enchantress did to Rapunzel's hair because apparently not only was it long enough to be thrown out the window and reach the ground but also strong enough to lift a grown women. I want to know what kind of shampoo she used.

So this time it really was the prince who found Rapunzel, he heard her singing and tried to find a way into the tower. One day he saw Mother Gothel go to the window and that evening after the enchantress had left he went to the window and called up "Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair."

So Rapunzel may have been beautiful but she can't be too bright if she can't differentiate from a middle aged woman's voice and a young man. So she pulls the prince up with her hair and then freaks out when she sees him because she's never seen another person before besides Mother Gothel.

The prince convinces her to run away with him but she does not know how to get out of the tower so she tells him to bring her a skein of silk with him so that she could weave a ladder. Personally I don't see why she couldn't just use her hair but we've already established that she's not the neon crayon.

For awhile Mother Gothel doesn't know about this but then Rapunzel shows her blonde again by saying, "Tell me, Dame Gothel, how it happens that you are so much heavier for me to draw up than the young king's son - he is with me in a moment."

In her anger Mother Gothel takes a pair of scissors and cuts Rapunzel's long hair off. She was so angry that she took Rapunzel out in the desert and left her there. The prince goes to the tower and calls for Rapunzel to let down her hair but when he climbs her hair he finds the enchantress instead.

Now according to the story he leaps from the tower which is supposed to be really high in the air and escapes with only thorns in his eyes, but let's be realistic here, thanks to Rapunzel's silly question the prince leaps to his death and his beloved is left to live alone in the desert.

A/n: with most of these fairy tales I'm going with the Grimm brothers' rendition of them. Although they are not the original. This one stays close to the original except that the Grimm brothers changed the question to "Why are you heavier" from "why is my dress tightening around my stomach" because the prince got rapunzel pregnant although there is never any mention of the child afterwards. I didn't change much in this story but I figured Rapunzel acts dumb enough in the story to screw up her own story.