You'd think that in crossing a suburban street in Pennsylvania, I'd notice a man with hot pink hair, wearing nothing but a pair of torn shorts and singing at the top of his lungs.
Well, I was busy texting my friend, so I think you'd understand when I say I only noticed him after he landed on me…on the other side of the road.
"What the heck do you think you're doing?" I yell, scrambling to get up.
"Saving your life, you just walked right in front of that bus!" he stands up and dusts off his shorts.
"Are you crazy, why didn't you just let it hit me?" he crosses his arms across his chest and glares.
"Well, I thought you might want to live!"
"I do, but in front of a freaking bus? Even I wouldn't save myself." I glare right into his blue eyes. "Are you okay?" I grit out.
"What?" he pretends not to hear, "Sorry, but I think I'm deaf in my right ear because the FREAKING BUS BLEW ITS HORN BEFORE YOU CROSSED THE STREET!"
"Well, I asked if you were okay! Next time let me get hit and save us both a headache." That didn't make any sense because I'd be in a lot more pain than a headache. Either way, I leave him with his mouth open like the idiot he is.
So two days later I'm walking by the construction site that's building a new hospital, listening to music, so you can't blame me when I say I don't hear anyone yelling until I'm on the ground again…with a blue-haired man on top of me.
"You!" we both say. I crawl away, but he follows.
"Are you following me?" I yell behind me.
"No," I hear, "You almost got hit with that 200 ton beam over there." I stop crawling and stand up. Sure enough, there's a beam crushed in the sidewalk. I face him.
"And you just so happened to be here?" I mean, I've had girls stalk me, but never a guy.
"Well, yeah, I work here." He says, gesturing toward his clothes, which are indeed construction-like garments. I grunt.
"Next time, let it hit me." He looks at me, suspicious.
"Are you suicidal?"
"No!" I shrug. "It's just, if your numbers up, your numbers up." He nods slowly and hums for a minute.
"So, if you were at a bank, and it was getting robbed and you were the only person there and they took you hostage, are you telling me you would rather die than let the police help you?" I blink and move my hair out f my eyes.
"Yes." He snorts.
"Because what's my life compared to letting a criminal escape? Who says he can use my life like that?"
"Yes," he says walking away, "but who says your life's not worth it?" This time, I'm the one looking like an idiot.
One incident free week later, I'm on the roof of my ten story apartment building, enjoying the view, when I slip. My heart feels like it's about to explode. I hang on to the edge and try not to start panicking. I yell, feeling someone pull me up. Wow, they must be strong. I check all my limbs when I suddenly get a mouthful of neon green hair.
"I thought you weren't suicidal!" a voice yells. I blink and jump up, wincing at the pain in my knee.
"And I thought you weren't stalking me! What's your deal, huh? Like 'em young? Well news to you, buddy: I'm not into perverts or stalkers!" I cross my arms and pout, looking away. "My body has been violated by your mind." Yes, even though I am a seventeen year old boy, I pout.
"You idiot," he says standing up, "I'm only twenty. And quit pouting, you're too old for that." He leans against the wall. "I was walking by and saw someone looking like they were about to jump, so I raced up here, helped you up, then tackled you for old time sakes." I still refuse to look at him.
"Aren't you going to yell at me about saving your life again?"
"Did you mean it?" I ask quietly, looking over the edge. "About my life being worth something?" I finally look at him, to find him staring at me intently.
"Well," he says slowly, "I know I would miss saving you." He grins. "So you've been thinking about me." I roll my eyes.
"Only about how I almost die whenever you're around. Maybe you're bad luck." I playfully take a step back.
"Or maybe I'm your good luck." He takes two steps forward "Coffee?" Finally! I grab one of his hands and smile widely.
"Only if you promise not to get me killed." He smirks.
"Have I let you die so far?"
Oneshot. Thought i'd try it.