A/N: Hey everyone! I'm finally done editing my stories. So, I was able to type this one-shot. Enjoy! P.S. I put some background info on my profile if you guys are a bit confused.

Status Update

Laura Moon

Monday is a horrible way to spend 1/7th of your life.

-34 minutes ago

"I used to work in a funeral parlor," she began. "One night I was by myself, mopping the floor, when I heard a loud bang. Turning around, I saw a man wearing a ski mask, pointing a gun at me. I swear he came out off that one cliché gang movie. He said, 'Open the safe and give me the money, or I'll shoot ya.' I told him, 'Boy, go rob the candy store down the street'. He asked, 'You don't think I'm serious?' Then, he shot a bullet through the ceiling. I yelled, 'What the fudger! That's coming out of my paycheck!' He said, 'I don't care about your paycheck. All I want is money!' I said, 'You're a dumwit drag queen. I'm gonna kill ya.' He said, 'Yeah, right. Just do what I say.' I said, 'Nuh uh, do it yourself you lazy-behind-gangsta-wanabe!' Then, I knocked the gun out of his hand with my mop. I poked his eyes and whacked his head. Then, I grabbed his fat booty and shoved it into an empty coffin, nailing it shut. The next morning, the owner came in and heard noise coming from the coffin." She cackled. "He thought his dead wife possessed the body inside. He ran out, screaming, 'Leave me alone, you nasty hag! I don't have a mistress!' From that point on, he avoided all women, like we were some terrorists who were going to blow his tooshie off."

"You sound like you're happy the owner did that," I stated.

She scoffed. "Of course, I am. That pimp should be kept away from us chicas. Freaking pervert who always stared at my chest! Hell, he even tried to give me money if I did some whacked-out stuff for him. I certainly fanny-slapped his cheeks! Guess which ones." She gritted her teeth. "If I ever see his face again…oh, I'm going to squeeze his juices and sell them as a weigh loss dietary drink at the drug store. That as-"

"Okay, grandma, that's enough," I interrupted.

She scowled. "I didn't even get to the good part where I hauled his-"

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing a nurse. She stepped into the room, grinning at the annoyed patient, saying, "Hello, madam. I'm here to check your vitals."

"Ah, screw you," my grandma retorted, glaring.

The nurse ignored her. Turning around, she faced me, jerking her head to the door. "Laura, would you mind stepping out for a moment?" she asked.

"Sure," I replied. "I was planning on getting a latte anyway." I walked through the door, waving. "See you later, grams."

My grandma's eyes widened. She yelled, "Hey kid! Don't leave me behind with this slu-" The door slammed shut, cutting her off.

Strolling down the hallway, I made my way to the elevator, gliding in before the doors could close. Soon, I reached my floor. Stepping out of the elevator, I walked down the hall, making my way to the cafeteria. Approaching a small coffee shop, I stopped in front of the register, smiling at the cashier, saying, "I would like one mocha latte, please."

"Make that two," added a voice.

I rolled my eyes. Turning around, I glared at the man behind me. "I only have money to buy one," I said.

He smirked. "Who said you were paying?"

Walking up, he pushed me aside, placing the money on the counter. He smiled cheekily, before strolling away, looking for a seat. Sighing, I waited for the change. Finally, the cashier handed me the receipt and some coins. I leaned forward. "Do you guys have any pesticides that you could oh-so-unknowingly slip into one of the lattes I ordered?" I asked, smiling angelically.

The cashier shook his head. "Sorry. I don't want to be charged with first degree murder," he said.

"But, I know how to stash bodies!"

He grabbed the lattes, sliding them towards me. "Maybe next time."

I snatched the drinks out of his hands, scowling. "You're no fun."

He shrugged. "I try my best."

Turning around, I walked towards my companion. Placing a drink in front of him, I plopped down in the chair. Taking a sip from my latte, I licked my lips, savoring the delicious flavor.

The man tapped his fingers on the table. "Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?" he asked randomly.

Surprised, I shrugged. "Probably. But, we don't expect the unexpected all the time," I answered.

"Which means…?"

"It means that the unexpected can really be the unexpected."

He scrunched his eyebrows. "What happens when a person always expects the unexpected?"

"Then, the unexpected can be expected…I think."

He smirked. "You just contradicted yourself."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you did start this conversation." I licked my lips. "What brought on this question anyway?"

He shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. I was just thinking about the past few hours."

"Generally or specifically."

A pause. "Specifically."

I leaned forward, hands folded underneath my chin. "Do tell."

He took a gulp from his drink. "Well… I had a strange thought this morning. No wait, it wasn't strange – more like an 'I've-never-thought-about-that' thought."

"Was it the question you asked me?" I interrupted.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, aren't you the psychic."

"Well, aren't you sarcastic." I waved my hand dismissively. "Continue on with your tale, please."

"Anyway, I got out of the shower, and started to change into my boxers-"

I snickered. "Were they pink and had little hearts on them?"

His eyes slanted. "No."

"Are there cute teddy bears and lollipops on them?"

He gritted his teeth. "I really don't want to talk about my underwear-"

"Why? Are they that embarrassing?" Another snicker. "Because, if they are, I can always get my… grandma to shop with you." I smirked. "She knows how to pick them."

He glared, cheeks reddening. "Will you please stop interrupting me!"

Laughing, I nodded. "Okay, I'll stop." For now.

Sighing, he continued on. "I was dressing up, lost in my thoughts. Somehow, I ended up with that question in my head. To be honest, it bothered me throughout the whole morning. I kept trying to come up with answers, only to confuse myself. I even wondered if there is a reason for why I came up with this question." He paused. "But…hmm, maybe there is a reason."

I stared at him curiously. "What's the reason?" I asked.

He sighed again. "I…can't explain it." He folded his arms against his chest. "Tell me, did you expect that your grandma would faint at the park today?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Did you expect that a stranger would come and help you?"

"No."

"So, with this in mind, do you believe in the unexpected?"

"Err…somewhat."

"But, do you expect the unexpected?"

A pause. "I guess."

"Therefore, does that make the unexpected expected?"

"I think?"

"If the unexpected is in fact expected, then there would be no reason to expect it any longer, right?"

I groaned loudly. "Uh, my brain stings."

He laughed. "At least you know how I felt this morning."

I grunted. "Thank you for laughing at my suffering."

He grinned. "It's my pleasure." He sipped his drink.

I rubbed my forehead, frowning. "I don't think your reasoning makes any sense."

He snorted. "Do you have a theory?"

I shrugged. "Well…I don't think expecting the unexpected makes the unexpected expected. The unexpected is something that is…well, unexpected. I mean, you can't certainly know when the unexpected will happen, which is why it's called the unexpected in the first place. You can't expect it, but you can be aware that it could happen sometime in the future. For instance, I didn't expect that my grandmother would pass out in the park. But, I also didn't expect that you would come out of nowhere and help us." I looked at him. "So, overall, just don't be shocked when the unexpected happens…I think."

He tapped his chin. "I guess that makes sense. Who knew you could be a genius in these things?"

"Yeah, who knew?"

He smiled. "Well, for that, I thank you."

Silence soon followed. I enjoyed the quiet atmosphere in solitude, finishing my drink. We both looked at the window, enjoying the striking scenery. I sneaked a glance at my companion, noting his serene expression. His eyes gleamed as he observed the setting sun, his mouth painted in a small grin. I smiled softly, looking back the sky.

"Thank you," I said.

"For what?" he asked.

"For today, for your help, for everything."

He shrugged. "Just doing my job as the handsome knight-in-shining armor."

"You mean the irritating knight-in-shining-armor."

He scoffed. "Don't ruin my glory moment. You're tainting my Prince Charming reputation."

"As if you don't need someone to bash your ego." I rolled my eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

He smirked. "You say it like I'm going to be stuck with you."

I frowned at the thought. "I have a feeling you will."

"Forever?"

"If I can help it, never." He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "However…I'd rather have you than some old perverted guy. At least you got morals."

He beamed. "Did you just compliment me?"

I sighed. "Pretend I didn't say that. I don't give out my precious compliments to strangers."

He waggled his eyebrows. "So, I'm no longer a stranger to you?"

"Well…technically you still are."

He frowned. "How?"

I smiled. "I still don't know your name."

His sulk turned into a grin, lightening up his features. "Ah. Well, my name comes from the anglicized spelling of the Irish name Cáel, and is considered the Hawaiian form of Charles. Unfortunately for me, by definition it means an edible plant, Brassica oleracea, from the…err, mustard family. But, the other meaning makes up for the knowledge that I am somehow related to broccoli and spinach." Shudder. "My name means free man, slender, strong and manly. You know, being known as those things is an ego booster." He sighed. "Who knew having a vegetable name can be so-"

"Will you just tell me?" I interrupted.

He smirked. "Well, aren't you an eager little thing."

I scowled. "I am not eager nor am I a little thing."

"Good thing you're not a guy." He barked at his own joke, causing people to glance in our direction. I groaned loudly, closing my tired eyes. Maybe I can threaten my cousin to dress up as a police officer. Then, she might be able to convince the cashier that hiding bodies in an over-priced coffee shop isn't considered first degree murder-

"Hey, sweetheart," he said. I lifted my head up, looking at the man. He smiled softly, eyes glinting. "Kale. The name's Kale."

Laura Moon

Dear grandma,

During weddings, do not assault me (by poking) and yell the words "You're next, sucker!" in my sensitive ears. I believe that Alzheimer's has caught up with you, for you seem to have forgotten that I am an innocent and not-yet-a-rebel teenage girl. If the problem persists, I would have to retaliate and repeat the words "You're next" into your ear… when we're attending a funeral.

Sincerely,

Your granddaughter

-56 minutes ago

"I think I'm pregnant."

I snorted, saying, "You're one third away from being a century old hag. You have bladder issues, no monthly periods and wrinkly ovaries that have stopped working thirty years ago. Do you know what these signs mean?"

My grandmother jutted her chin. "That I am no longer a part of the horrid, angst-driven species known as teenagers." Suddenly, gagging sounds erupted from her mouth. "Oh my jelly beans! Look at me! I'm so depressed that I'm going to listen to pre-puberty pop stars, just because my friends think they look hot while wearing transparent clothes. Watch my humanity slip by as I jump on tables and grind to songs by that candy rapper guy."

I opened my mouth in shock. "I don't act like that!"

"I never said you did," she replied.

"You implied it!"

She snorted. "I did not."

I shook my head. "Whatever. I don't want to argue about this."

She pointed a finger at me. "Right there! That's what I'm talking about!"

"The what?"

"The angst! The anger! All common signs of being a teenager!"

I scowled. "That's not anger. That's called being annoyed."

"Are you saying that I annoy you?"

"I never said it."

"But, you implied it!"

"Uh! Can we please just stop this conversation?"

She folded her arms against her chest. "Of course we can. I can't be angry in my current state."

I rolled my eyes. "You're not pregnant."

"You don't know that! You weren't there when my sweet darling, in the midst of glorious pleasure, c-"

I jumped up from my chair. "I'm leaving!"

Turning around, I ran through the crowd, ignoring the loud shouts emmiting from the table. I dodged several waiters, not wanting to cause any accidents. Moving past dancing couples, I arrived at the entrance door. Pushing it open, I shivered as a breeze met my body. Stepping out, I shut the door behind me, the lock clicking in place. I searched for a bench, finding one near a small cliff. Sighing, I walked to my seat, plopping down when I reached it. I leaned against the wood, rubbing my shaking arms.

"Tough night?" asked Kale.

I looked up. "You have no idea," I answered.

He laughed, sitting beside me. "I think I have a pretty good idea." He noticed the goose bumps on my arms. "Are you cold?" I nodded, staring at him. He returned my gaze, smirking. "What? You think I was going to offer you my jacket?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what gentlemen do?"

He scoffed. "Please, I'm not that selfless." An arm made its way above my shoulders. Warmth seeped into my body, melting the icy interior. My lips twitched, the night masking my soft smile. "So, do you want to explain why your grandmother was screeching like a banshee after you left?"

I chuckled darkly. "I don't think you want to know," I said.

"Really? Well…she did yell out some stuff about being two weeks pregnant and that you'll be changing the kid's diapers." He shook his head. "So, yeah, I don't think I would be interested on what-the-hell she was talking about. Yup, I am so not curious. No way." He glanced at me, fighting back a smile.

I grimaced, reminiscing the past few hours. "Well…after we arrived at the reception, she started yapping about how I'm going to be married next. We had a long argument about that, which was resolved when I mentioned that she'll be next to die when we attend a funeral. Then, we ate dinner and the newlyweds had their first dance. Of course, all the couples joined them, including my parents. That left me with the witch. No sooner than that, she started talking about how I shouldn't get pregnant before I get married. Then, she said that she's pregnant and World War III followed shortly."

"Hmm…that's very interesting," he said.

I shrugged. "We've had more creative arguments than that."

He smirked. "I can tell." I remained silent. Kale frowned, noticing my cold expression. "Are you that upset from the fight?"

"No," I answered. He raised an eyebrow, challenging my response. I sighed. "It's just that…I don't want to argue with her. It's getting tiring and…I just…god…I just want to have a normal relationship with my grandmother. The relationships where the granddaughter and the grandma get along, where she tells her wise stories from her past, where they don't argue all the time, or not even at all. I just want something-"

"-normal," finished Kale.

I nodded. "Yes."

Suddenly, he laughed. "You're never going to get that, sweetheart."

I scowled. "Aren't you supposed to comfort me?"

"Please, I'm not that caring," he said, chuckling. "Look. There isn't a thing called a normal relationship. The relationship you were talking about is from the movies. And, like that one chick said, or sang, life's not a movie." He sighed. "Every relationship is different. Every relationship isn't perfect. But, that doesn't mean you can't make the best out of it. True, you and your grandmother fight a lot, but you guys don't have to fight all the time. Your relationship doesn't have to be based on arguments. It can be based on something that works with the both of you. It can be sports, chocolate, anything. You guys just have to find it. And, once you do, both of you need to work together to fix your relationship and make it the best it can be."

My eyes filled with unshed tears. "Did…did you just come up with that from the top of your head?" I asked.

He smiled. "Somewhat."

I returned his gesture with a grin. "You would make a great psychologist."

"Oh, I know." He smirked. "I've recently been getting offers from the Institution of-" I slapped his stomach. "Hey! What was that for?"

"I had to stop your ego from growing," I replied.

He scowled. "Now how am I supposed to win the award for 'Most Confident' now?"

I chuckled. "You can try later." I laid my head on his chest, relaxing. "Thanks."

I could feel the grin grow on his face. "Your welcome."

I smiled, closing my eyes, letting the rhythm of his heart calm me down. I sighed, enjoying the comfortable position.

"Hey, Laura," he said.

"Hmm?"

"I think you'll look hot in a wedding dress." Slap! "Ow… it was a compliment!"

Laura Moon

Has kidnapped Fiona and is demanding Shrek for ransom. Pinocchio, the gingerbread man and a talking donkey don't count.

-19 minutes ago

"If you throw a red pen into the Red Sea, what would happen to the red pen?" asked Farrah.

"It becomes wet," I answered.

"What looks like half a banana?"

"The other half."

"How do you lift a giraffe with one hand?"

"You can't, because there is no giraffe with one h-Don't touch that!" I reached over, grabbing my phone from her hand. "You could have dropped it!"

She pouted. "No, I wouldn't."

I snorted. "Really? Why?"

"Because I'm responsible!"

"I doubt all six year olds are responsible."

She placed her hands on her hips. "I'm more responsible than grandma."

I paused. "True." Reluctantly, I gave her my phone. Smiling, she proceeded to tap the scratched screen. I glanced at my phone, noting the difficult game she was playing. Shaking my head, I leaned against the bench, observing my surroundings.

"You ditched me," said an annoyed voice.

Startled, I looked behind me, raising an eyebrow. "No I didn't," I said.

Kale scowled. "Yes, you did." He walked around and sat next to me. "And, for a four year old, too."

"Six," cried Farrah.

"Yeah, six year old," continued Kale. He crossed his arms. "I demand an explanation."

I rolled my eyes, proclaiming, "I'm a kidnapper." A pause. "A princess kidnapper."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah," I said. "I work on Saturdays and Sundays. But, I'll work on Fridays nights, when the king and queen have to go to a ball."

"Uh huh." He looked back at Farrah. "So, this is the princess you kidnapped for today?" he asked.

"Yup, meet Princess Fiona," I replied. Farrah gave him a wave, her eyes still on the screen. "She's my usual customer."

"Huh." He pouted, saying, "So, you decided to work instead of going on a date with me."

I scrunched my eyebrows. "Date? We were going to the cemetery."

He shrugged. "I make sure my dates are…memorable."

"So, taking me to meet great-great-rotting Uncle Bob is considered a date?" I shook my head. "No wonder you're single."

"At least you get to practice before you meet my parents."

"Why would I meet your parents?" I stared at him incredulously. "We're not even dating."

He leaned closer, his breath mingling with my own. "Do you want us to?" I blushed slightly, biting my lip.

"Holly gingerbread man!" shouted Farrah. "I lost! To a midget king!"

I turned to the side, looking at my cousin, my face scorching. "I think that's enough," I said, grabbing the phone out of her hand, pocketing it.

"But, I wanted to play again!" said Farrah, pouting. "I can't let that dwarf win!"

I sighed. "Later. But, now, we're getting ice cream."

Suddenly, a smile erupted in her face. "Ice cream!"

"Can I come?" asked Kale, looking hopefully at me.

"Sure!" cried Farrah before I can answer. "You can help me pick the flavor."

"Great," he said. Standing up, he bowed. "Would the princess like an escort?"

"Yes!" yelled Farrah. Jumping off the bench, she stepped in front of Kale. He jutted his arm out, motioning her to hold it. Grinning, Farrah grabbed it and the two of them began to walk away. Rolling my eyes, I followed Prince Charming and his damsel.

"Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?" questioned Farrah.

I grinned, asking, "Would you buy a hot dog named McWeiner?"

"Eh…no." She chewed her lip. "Why do they say flattery won't get you anywhere?"

I shrugged, saying, "Bribery works better."

"What are you doing?" asked Kale.

"Questions and answers," I said, pointing to Farrah, then at myself. "It's our kidnapper-to-victim kind of thing."

"Ah." He looked around him. "I think the ice cream parlor is around here somewhere."

"What do you do when you used all your sick leave?" asked Farrah.

"Call in dead," I said.

Kale chuckled, mumbling, "Nice answer."

I smiled sarcastically. "Thanks," I answered.

He looked back at me, catching my gaze. "So," he began. "How are you and your grandmother?"

"Horrible," I answered. "She keeps stealing my underwear. Then, she makes me carry her bag whenever we go out. She said she can't carry heavy things because it's bad for her one-month pregnant self." I groaned. "Do you know how heavy that thing is? It's like she went to the supermarket and stole every canned food on a shelf." I grimaced. "If she keeps that up, I'm going to have to schedule her funeral earlier."

"What?" He laughed. "Are you serious?"

I kept my face straight. "Very."

His chuckles continued on, a hint of red staining his face. "Alright, what's the truth?" he asked.

I scrunched my nose. "We're…okay. No, wait, more than okay." I smiled hesitantly. "We're great. I think we broke a record in the most hours without a fight."

"How do you know not all men are idiots?" questioned Farrah.

"Some are already dead," I answered.

Kale grinned, saying, "That's good." He paused. "Are you guys getting along…most of the time?"

I licked my lips. "Somewhat," I said. "But, I have to admit, our relationship is much better."

"You still have those crazy and random banters?" he asked.

A pause. "Yeah."

"What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?" asked Farrah.

I looked at her, saying, "Day and night."

Kale chuckled. "But, do you guys make up afterward?" he questioned.

"Yup," I answered, nodding.

He grinned. "So, what are you guys doing now?"

"Well, we're fixing whatever rough patches we have left. And, of course, we're making our relationship the best it can be." I sighed sadly, as a thought passed through my mind. "Can I be honest with you?"

He frowned, but nodded. "Yes."

"This whole…getting-along stuff is really tiring. It's not as easy as what I thought it would be. It even came to the point where I wished that you didn't give me advice, and that my relationship with my grandma was back to what it used to be."

"But…"

I smiled. "But…I realized how foolish–and lazy–it was for me to think that. Without your help, my relationship with my grandmother would have stayed the same, probably until she died. Without your help, I wouldn't have realized that I didn't want a perfect relationship, just one where we get along. Without your help, I wouldn't have even bothered to make our relationship the best it could be." I took in a deep breath. "As of now, we're taking it a few steps at a time. And, surprisingly, we're making progress. So, even if it takes a lot of hard work, I'm not going to give up. We're not going to give up…because everything pays up in the end. And, I know that a prize would be waiting for the both of us."

Kale remained silent, though a small smile gradually grew on his face. "I'm proud of you."

My eyes watered. "You do know that I'll always be grateful for your help, right?"

He grinned tenderly, eyes gleaming. "Of course, sweetheart." Suddenly, he stopped, causing Farrah and me to follow his actions. I glanced at him with questioning eyes. He jerked his head to the side, motioning at the ice cream store beside us. While Farrah squealed, Kale gave me an apologetic smile. "I believe this is farewell," he said.

Farrah pouted. "Where are you going?" she asked, tugging his arm. "I thought you were going to help me pick a flavor."

He patted her head. "I'm sorry, princess," he said. "But, I have princely duties to attend."

"You mean, like fighting tomboy princesses and saving disease-infested dragons?"

A pause. "Err…sure." He grinned cheekily. "But, do not fear! I can still give you a suggestion." He pointed to one of the posters on the store window. "Try the Mocha Cappuccino Fudge Supreme. It's the best ice cream in the kingdom!"

"Okay!" She leaned forward and hugged him. "Thank you, Prince Charming."

He chuckled. "Anytime, Princess Fiona." He lifted his head up, meeting my gaze. "I'll see you next week?" he asked me.

"Sure," I said. "But, remind me to bring a mirror."

He scrunched his eyebrows. "A mirror?"

"Yeah, just in case there are vampires in the cemetery."

"Um, shouldn't you bring garlic then?"

I snorted, saying, "Garlic won't work on them. You should know that."

"Then, what will the mirror do?"

I smiled cunningly. "When they sparkle, I'll use the mirror to reflect it back at their eyes. Then, while their vision is blurry, I'll get some stray dog to chase them away."

"Right." He shook his head, waving. "I'll see you later." Turning, he walked down the sidewalk, slowly disappearing from view. I grabbed Farrah's hand and both of us entered the store.

Five minutes later, while eating my Cocoa Sundae, my phone rang. Digging into my pocket, I pulled it out, looking at the screen. Frowning, I answered it. "Hello?" I asked.

"Um…Hey Laura," said Kale.

My eyebrows furrowed. "What's wrong Kale? You sound nervous."

I could feel him shudder at the end of the line. "Uh, well. I think I saw your grandma…naked…jumping on cars…singing the Batman theme song." A pause. "I'll call you back." Click!

I held the phone to my ear, shocked. A few seconds passed by before I shook my head, cursing. Holding my phone, I quickly dialed a familiar number, my fingers moving rapidly. I pressed it back to my ear, waiting for the person to pick up. Finally, I heard a small click.

"Uh, hello?" said the voice at the end of the line.

"I said the blue pill!" I yelled.

Laura Moon

By the power vested on me, I now pronounce you oblivious and dumb. You may now ignore my constant attempts to capture your heart.

-21 minutes ago

"Well…this is awkward," Kale whispered.

"I know, right?" I said. "We didn't even see a vampire!"

"Shhh!"

I shut my mouth, glaring at Kale. He rolled his eyes, motioning for me to go lower. Ignoring him, I peeked over the tombstone, looking for the security guard. I found him walking along a row of graveyards, staring forward. Suddenly, he stopped, pivoting around. I ducked my head lower, but enough for me to see his next movements. He looked around him, searching for someone. Shrugging, he turned back around and continued to walk away. I sighed quietly, watching as he disappeared.

"Alright, he's gone," I said.

"Okay," he replied.

"But, I think he'll be guarding the entrance."

"Uh huh."

"So, we have to find another way out of here."

"Yup."

"I was thinking of jumping over the fence, but there might be motion sensors."

"Yeah."

"Or, we could dig a hole under the fence, so we can crawl underneath it."

"Hmmm."

"Or, we can-Are you even listening to me?"

Kale grinned cheekily. "No," he said.

I sighed. "You're hopeless," I replied.

"A hopeless romantic?" He lied on the cold soil.

A pause. "No. Not even close. " I lied next to him, looking up at the starry night. "It kind of feels…weird doing this."

"Why?"

"Um…we're star gazing on your dog's grave."

"So? I do it all the time."

Silence. "What?"

He smirked. "Every week, I would come here, relax and think about stuff."

I grimaced, asking, "Aren't you a bit…disturbed from hanging out here?"

He frowned. "Why would I be?"

I gestured to the graves around us. "Uh, dead bodies, anyone?"

He chuckled. "No, I'm not that bothered." He yawned. "My family does own a funeral business. I see dead bodies on a daily basis. Besides, the bodies here are animals, which are less scary than human corpses."

I bit my lip. "Good point." I rolled onto my side, staring at him. "So, you're really not disturbed?"

"Nope," he said, popping the p.

I shrugged. "Okay." I rolled onto my back. "What do you think about when you come here?"

"Lots of stuff."

"Like?" I asked.

"School, friends, family, us, your grandma-"

"Wait…did you say my grandma?" I looked at him disbelievingly.

He nodded. "Yeah."

I scrunched my nose. "Why would you think about my grandma?"

He smirked. "Well, you got to admit. She's a freaking bad-ass." Silence. "Don't give me that look. You know it's true."

I groaned. "Please don't tell me you're developing a crush on her."

He laughed. "No, I'm not. Let's just say that she's so cool that she keeps my brain entertained by just thinking about her."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this."

His eyes gleamed. "It's true! I mean, just thinking about that stunt of hers yesterday makes my brain go on overdrive-"

"Stop. Right. There." I shuddered. "I don't want to hear you talk about the love of your life, especially someone who thinks she's about to give birth in the next few days."

He chuckled, grinning. "I don't like her like that. That's too…creepy. Besides, I like someone else."

My face became blank, not knowing whether I should be ecstatic or miserable. "Who?"

He smirked. "Why don't you figure it out yourself?"

I scowled, though hope began to build up inside me. "You're no fun." For a few minutes, we remained silent, staring at the night sky. Thoughts clashed inside my head, many disappearing quickly. But, a specific one caught my attention. With that in mind, I made a quick decision. Breathing heavily, I gulped, my heart pounding hard against my chest. Mustering up the bravery within me, I looked at Kale.

"If you need a liver transplant, I'll throw in part of my brain," I said.

He looked at me strangely. "Um, thanks?" he replied.

"If you were rum, I'd drink you by the gallon."

"Uh…"

"That juicy ball of meat inside my chest captivity beats rapidly when I see your pupils look my way."

"Is this another one of your kidnapper-to-victim kind of things?"

"You are the pork and I am the beans."

"I don't really like being compared to processed food."

"If I was smart, I'd follow you around like a lost puppy and won't take a dump every five minutes."

A pause. "You just called yourself stupid."

I scowled, irritated. "I get high from your instant messages."

"Is that illegal?"

"If a group of bounty hunters blew up the car you were driving, I would collect your dismembered parts, go to a weapon factory and demand them to make you a kick-ass robot body or else I'll unsubscribe from their magazine."

He laughed, eyes shining. "How…kind of you."

"You are the hole to my donut."

"Now, wait a minute. Why should I be the hole? I want to be the donut. I think you should reverse that statement so that it'll be 'I am the hole to your donut'. Of course, you have to say it so that people won't get confused and think that I want to be the hole, when, technically, I want to be the donut-"

"That's it! I give up!" I sat up, raising my hands up in the air. "For someone who can be so intelligent at times…"

"What do you mean you give up?" asked Kale, a small glint in his eyes.

"I'm not telling you," I replied.

"Aw, come on! You can't just make me curious and leave me hanging."

I snorted. "I doubt your dull mind could process the information that I would not be giving you."

He pouted. "You're so mean." I remained silent, causing him to frown. "Are you giving me the silent treatment?" No answer. He shook his head. "Women are so alike it's scary." Suddenly, a soft beep cut through the thick air. I looked at Kale, watching as he glanced at his watch. A smile erupted on his face, making him glow. "11:11 PM," he said.

I opened my mouth, before shutting it tightly. My stubbornness and curiosity fought within me. Unfortunately, curiosity won. "What does that mean?" I asked.

He smiled, forgetting about my attempt to ignore him. "It means…it's time to make a wish." He gazed softly at me. "Look at the sky." Following his orders, I moved my eyes towards the heavens. "Close your eyes." I did. "Take a deep breath." I did. "And, now, make a wish."

I did.

It seemed like minutes passed, the silence slowly engulfing our bodies. My body relaxed into hard soil, though the idea of lying above a dead dog did not escape my mind. The sound of Kale's breathing drifted to my ears, almost lulling me to sleep. Suddenly, another beep erupted from his watch, shaking me out of my reverie. Kale looked at his wrist, pressing a button, before putting it down.

"What was that beep for?" I asked.

"It's so that I know when the minute is up," he said, putting his arm behind his head. "When the minute ends, that means you can't wish anymore. At least, until tomorrow."

"Oh."

He turned his head, facing me, grinning. "So, what did you wish for?"

I frowned. "I thought you're not supposed to tell your wish to anyone, if you want it to come true."

"Rules change." He shrugged. "Besides, it is the twenty first century."

"So? That doesn't mean anything."

"But, you don't know that."

I scowled. "You're not going to stop until I tell you, right?"

He placed a hand over his heart, mocking me. "You know me too well."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, fine. I'll tell you." I sighed, biting my lip. "I wished…for your wish to come true." At my confession, he remained silent. Fidgeting, I glanced at him, noting the frown on his face. "What's wrong?" I asked.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Why would you waste your wish on me?"

Relief filled my body. "Why shouldn't I? It's my wish," I said.

"I know." The frown remained on his face. "But, still. You should wish something for yourself."

I snorted. "Please, I'm not that selfish. Besides, I still have tomorrow to wish something for myself."

"But, you wasted your first 11:11 wish on me," Kale whined.

I groaned. "Stop being so stubborn. Just be happy that I think of others before myself…especially you."

"Well, I think of you before myself, too."

My cheeks reddened. "Umm…thanks."

He laughed at my expression, his frown disappearing. "Your welcome."

I joined in with his laughter, chuckling softly. A sudden thought passed my mind, causing my lips to form a smirk. "So, what about you?"

His laughter stopped. "What about me?" he asked.

"I told you my wish. I think you should tell me yours."

He huffed. "I think you don't want to know."

"I think I want to know."

"I think that it should be kept a secret."

"I think it's unfair."

"I think that-" He stopped, gritting his teeth. "Stop giving me that look!"

I snickered, enjoying his troubled expression. "Why should I?" Then, I pouted.

His lips thinned, though I can sense his willpower wavering. A few pouts and a teary eye later, he finally sighed and admitted defeat. "Alright, I'll tell you. But, don't say that I didn't warn you."

I shrugged. "Okay. Hit me."

He gazed into my eyes, an anxious yet determined expression on his face. "I wished for you…to tell me how you feel…about me." Silence. I blinked at him. Once. Twice. Noticing my blank gaze, he frowned. "Laura?" I didn't answer. "Are you alright?" His hand reached out and tapped my cheek, before cupping it. "Are you in shock?" He tilted his head, observing my face. Suddenly, his eyes slanted, though a hint of worry swirled in them. "Are you on drugs?" he asked.

"What? No!" I replied, shaking my head. "I'm clean!"

"Good." A small grin painted itself on his mouth. "Always say no to drugs."

I stared at him, watching the swirling emotions on his face. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he said.

"Were you born this stupid?"

Silence. "What?"

I groaned, mumbling to myself. "I can't believe. I really can't believe it. I practically told you my feelings earlier, but you seemed to think that it was some game made by a delusional six-year old. But, of course, it was stupid of me to think that you would know what I was talking about. I mean, you're a guy. And, that magazine said that when it comes to guys, you have to be blunt in a lot of things. Uh…I guess they were right this time. I think I should get grandma to sign me up for a subscription-"

"You're babbling," said Kale, fighting a grin.

I scowled. "Of course, I am. It's how I release my stress."

He rolled his eyes. "You're such a girl."

"And, you're such a guy." I sat up, hugging my legs to my chest. "So dumb. So oblivious. So-"

"I knew." I whipped my head to my side, looking at a smiling Kale. "I knew what you were trying to do earlier."

I gaped. "Y-you k-knew?" I threw my hands up in the air. "Then, why did you act like you didn't?"

He yawned, sitting up. "You should know by now that I love teasing you, sweetheart." He smirked lazily. "Besides, you look cute when you're all frazzled up."

I humped, crossing my arms against my chest. "I can't believe you." I shook my head in disbelief. "If I didn't like you so much, I would have sent my grandma to go Avada Kedavra on your ass."

He poked my nose. "Well, if I didn't love you so much, then I wouldn't have bothered using my acting skills on you." He put his arm around my shoulders. "I'm so good, aren't I?"

I grimaced. "You wish."

"Oh, but I did." A faraway expression adorned his face. "I wished on my fifth birthday for the ability to act like that one dude from that chick flick."

"And, you think that wish came true?" I asked.

"Of course, it did," he said. "All of my wishes come true." He smiled softly. "Especially this special one."

I blinked. "What special one?"

"This." Then, he leaned down and kissed me.

Kale Bentley

Love is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it. Laura Moon, thanks for being the pee in my pants.

-1 minute ago

A/N: Laura's grandma wants you to review, or else she'll go "ninja" on your not-so-pregnant self. If you are pregnant, she wants to give you a fist pump and her contact info (1-111-1111) so that you guys can compare the head sizes of your babies. Ciao!