Sending You Away

My heart bears a gaping hole in its own chest
My body is wracked with intense and awful spasms
I feel such confliction and so much unrest
And it's as if I'm trapped within a deep chasm…

The end of the day and I reflect on the words
That we have spoken to each other during the day
And there is so much anger that I've heard
That I wonder if there's anything left to say…

The end of the night and I wake from my dreams
In which all we have done is bicker and fight
And damnit to hell, we've fallen apart at the seams
Making me wonder if staying together is right…

I look up towards the infinite heavens above
And I pray that someone will open up my eyes
Please, God, just tell me if this is true love
Or is this evil that is managing to deny

Me the happiness I feel that I deserve
But perhaps I believe I am owed far too much
That I've gone beyond what was left in the reserves
And now I treat this misery like my personal crutch

On which I lean when times get rough
Because I'm too weak to stand up on my own
I'm tired of pretending that I'm so tough
But faking it in life is all I've ever known…

And I thought that I found my life in you
But I guess I put too much weight on your shoulders
I thought that I found a love both strong and true
But it's crumpled and raining down in boulders

That fall down the chasm in which I currently reside
Threatening to crush me with my own sorrow
Convincing me sadly that we have tragically died
And that there was never hope for a better tomorrow…

So I try to shove you to the side and make an escape
I try to run away just as fast as I can…
But you're staring at me with a pained mouth open agape
And your sadness was not a part of my plan…

So I reach out and I grab you into an embrace
But in the back of my mind, it all feels so fake
When my emotions and my heart are so badly misplaced
That I'm convinced we're the biggest mistake…

I'm so confused that in the dark I remain
Unable to bring myself back from so far astray
But will I be causing even greater pain
If I resort to sending you away…?