The first few pieces of this portfolio are, in my opinion, drastically different than the ones that make up the denouement. Even the titles of my beginning works reveal my overwhelmingly low self-esteem. "A Disjointed Series," was only given its name because another writer had disliked the fact that none of the haikus were related. "This Is Where Being Bitter Gets You" and "The Grime" are fairly obvious in that as well. The middle pieces are combinations of adept verses and randomly chosen words into which people have crammed meaning. Satisfaction has been an amazingly fickle friend. This was a very frustrating time for me, a poet and a teenager, especially as it was coupled with foolishly raging hormones.
Somehow, I began to realize that I was a talented story-teller, or poet, or whatever it is that I am. The added confidence puts the other poems to shame, or so I think. The titular poem of this collection, "A Softly-Spoken Amelioration," truly captures my thought process. It has been a long and lonely year, but I believe now is the time for my writing, and my life as well, to fully blossom. I'm no longer in a coma.
This amelioration of the senses has not been dramatic up until now. The other day, I sat down to write my grade rationale. I, of course, started off saying I deserved a low B. I then spent a few minutes glaring at the computer screen, and then deleted all of my self-trashing words. I understood, then, that I really deserved something, for the first time in a long, long while. I am proud of these poems, yet I'm more proud for feeling so.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and enjoy. If this is as healing for you as it was for me (if that's possible), then please do tell. For once, I will be interested in hearing praise.