Cross my heart.

"Promise not to tell?"
"Cross my heart." Laura replies while she invisibly engraves an 'X' on her chest, assuring me that what I am about to tell her stays between her and I.
I lean in as close as I can, cup my hands around her ear and whisper my secret to her. My eyes glued to her face as I watch her expression change from calm to disgust with ease, not what I had expected.

"Ew! You freak. Get off me" She spitefully says and pushes my hand away from her, the one that I had unnoticeably rested on her thigh.
"I really don't understand why you can't accept it! I'm still me." I raise my voice at her trying to catch her attention as she continues to make her way to the door. At this point I could simply just fall on my knees and plead her for acceptance.

"You 'did it' with him and I still treat you the same. At least I haven't walked away from you like he has." The words simply slipped out of my mouth, I close my eyes, realising what I had just said and I regretted it as soon as I did, I didn't want to hurt her but that doesn't give her any rights to upset me without feeling an inch of guilt in that hard heart of hers.
She turned around and threw a dirty look at me.

"Take that back! Take that back… Now." She argues.
"He loves me, I know he does. He just doesn't know it yet." I had a glimpse of the tear that rolled down her cheek before she turned away from me, facing the wall.
I walk over to Laura, facing her back and feeling nothing but sorry for her. I didn't mean what I had said but sometimes the truth hurts.

"I-I'm sorry" I place a hand on her right shoulder, she shrugs it off.
"Get… Out." I couldn't make out her quit words.
"Wha-"
"GET OUT." She screams at me.
I take one last look at her and with that I lose all the respect I had for her. All this for nothing, I thought.

That was basically the end of that friendship.
It sure does surprise me the way people can pretend to be something they're not and once it hits you, you're disappointed but deep inside you know that you have no one to blame but yourself. All I really have to say is don't be fooled by their disguises.
It's true, people are never what they seem and if someone distant, they're distant for a good reason. I guess I've always put in effort to those who never deserved it in the first place.
If someone really does care, you'll know so don't shut them out cause you'll end up regretting it.


These past seven years, I've learnt to love and respect myself. That was always the goal that I struggled to achieve, not until now.
I open the door, walk out, close my eyes and breathe in the air. The air here was different, cleaner. Nothing was in comparison to the fresh air in London.
I walk around looking for the closest underground; I had to meet my mum at Pret in Oxford Street and I had to get there fast.

"Mum!" I smile at her, she opens her arms like any mother would have and greets me with a warm, loving hug.
"I've missed you." I tell her.
"I've missed you too, baby." She says and kisses my forehead. She parts from me and takes a long look at me.
"You've grown up. I can't believe you're Twenty-One!" She laughs and places her right hand on my cheek.

We sit down, eat breakfast and fill each other with news that we've missed out on. It feels good meeting my mum again, even if it were a short visit. It's always good to see her.

"So how long are you here for?" I say while chewing on bits of cut, sour mangoes and juicy raspberries.

"I'm actually leaving tomorrow. I have a meeting scheduled right here in London, I figured that I'd come and see my baby." I pick up on the sadness in her voice; I knew she wants to stay here longer. I reach out for her hands and she holds onto mine tightly, as if it were the last time she'd be able to do so.

Sadly we say our goodbyes, I hug her tightly and she kisses my cheek, knowing that she wouldn't be able to do that for a while, once she leaves.
I walk out with my back slumped, hands in my pockets and my eyes fixed onto the ground.

My phone rings and Tracy calls, asking if I'll still be able to make it for the party today at her place.
"Yeah, I'm sure that I'll be able to make it…" She says something stupid to humor me; I laugh and shut the phone. I gladly walk back home to choose out what I want to wear for tonight's event.


I hear the loud music playing from down the corridor. This obviously is it, I thought.
I push the half open door with my finger, watching as it gradually opens.
It's crowded. I hate crowds.

"You made it!" Trace throws her arms in the air and gives me the biggest hug ever.
"Oh yes, I did!" I reply, not knowing if it's a good or a bad thing.
"Go and get yourself something to eat, walk straight and turn right. The refreshments should be there." She smiles at me, and then is easily distracted as the next person walks through the door.

I walk past all these familiar faces, how is that I don't remember any of their names?
I walk straight, turn right and find myself in a room alone with an attractive girl. Her height is reasonable; she has short, chins length, deep purple hair and bangs.
"H-Hi." I manage to say, I didn't know what else to say without sounding like a complete dipshit.
"Hey." She replies. She was busy pouring the drinks into the cups.
She looks up at me, stops what she's doing and says:
"Do I know you? You look sofamiliar." The look in her eyes wasn't strange, I've seen her before. Well that look at least.

"Emily?" She says. Happiness in her voice, she seems glad to see me.
"Yup. That's me." I smile at her and pause. "There's something about your eyes that makes you so familiar, I'm just not so sure..." I say and nervously laugh.
"It's me…" She says "Laura."
"Lau- Laura?" Not believing what she had said. Wow, she had completely changed. I still remember her long, brunette hair that I always admired. I still had my same old dark blonde hair colour. No wonder she recognised me.

"Wow, you've changed. Love the hair." I smile.
"Thanks." She says.

This is totally one of those awkward moments where you and the best friend that you used to tell everything to just stand there and have nothing else to say to each other. This sure does suck some serious bull bollocks.

"Yeah… I'm gunna go now." I awkwardly say. I walk out the room.
"Em, Wait!" She calls out.

I continue to walk away pretending to ignore her, pretending the music washed out her voice.
I'm not going to let her ruin my night, I feel perfectly fine without her.


I shove and force myself into the crowd; and desperately find a random guy to dance with. I grabbed him by the wrist and he moves closer to me with a sick smirk on his face, He places both his hands around my waist and pulls me closer, I could feel him pushing his crotch hardly against the back of my body.
I close my eyes, sway my body within his touch, and throw my arms in the air. Moving with the pace of the music.

I open my eyes and see her staring at right at me from far away. What does she want from me?
I turn around to face him, place my hand at the back of this guy's neck and pull his face into mine, forcing my lips onto his. He places both hands on my arse and pulls me closer, I sense his eagerness and desperation as he slips his tongue into my mouth. I could taste the Vodka on his tongue. Gross.
I parted my face from him but he pulled me into him harder, forcing me to kiss him, I pushed him off of me.

"Back off, Git." I say and wipe my mouth.
"Just giving you what you asked for." He says, shamelessly.
"I 'asked' for a kiss, not for you to rape my throat." I thrust him and walk away.

I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Did I not make myself cle-" I turn around.
"Em, Can I talk to you?" I sense hurt and regret in her voice.

"Yeah, sure" I was concerned about her but I didn't want to show her that, not until I knew that she feels the same way. She grabs my hand, takes me out of Tracy's apartment and climbs a ladder on the side of the building that led up to the roof.

"Emily, I'm sorry for the way I treated you back when we were teenagers. It was so wrong of me to do that to you, I was harsh to you when you cared for me so much and at that time no one else did. I shouldn't have let you go that easily. Truth is I really wa-" I interrupt her before she could finish whatever she had left to say.

"I forgive you. I've been angry at you for far too long and just saying that comforts me. I'm glad that you still remember that day." I smile awkwardly and turn around to walk away.

"Truth is…I'm gay, Em." Her voice changes and she begins to cry.
I stop walking but I refuse to turn around.

"I-I always have been. The day you whispered your secret to me, I cried because I felt the same way. I try so hard with guys, I always have and even you knew that." She pauses and takes a deep breath
"But they're not what I want, none of them are..."
I face her.

"Then what is it that you want?"

"You."

I walk over to her at a fast past, place my hands on her face and finally after having to wait for seven long years…
I kiss her.