Thursday August 25, 2011

I'm breathing deeply

I need this anger to be gone

I'm breathing

I need the shaking to stop

I need these emotions inside of me to stop raging

I need to calm down

And put on my happy face

This smile is killing me

But I need it there

It forces me to be normal

To be better

I need that smile

But it's falling from my face

The shaking is getting worse

I need to let the music save me

I need to smile again

For these fucking people

I need this fa├žade to stay just a well longer

I need to keep pretending though I'm losing my will

It's falling to fast

The music can't bring back my smile

I'm losing it

Losing myself

The fight is leaving me

I'm losing this battle

And the darkness is taking over

I'm angry

I'm shaking

I'm crying

I'm shaking

"Leave me alone!"

I scream to you

I need my blade

I scream in my mine

"Go away!"

I need to bleed

You've gone

I find my blade

I draw it across my skin

The pain flares

But it's not enough

I need more

I need more pain

I need the shaking to stop

Cause the shaking

Reminds me that I am breaking

That I have long since lost the fight

And everyone is just waiting for me to crack

Waiting for me to break down

And I do

And I'm still shaking

Because the emotions are too close to the surface

Because the feelings are too raw

And you've given up on me

So why do I continue to fight?

Why do I try?