Forgiving
Alexia Vaughn was beautiful there was no doubt about that; she had the looks of a Greek goddess, curvaceous body, classic features, long silky soft chestnut hair and the most enchanting pair of blue eyes. And to match with her looks, her personality was just as beautiful, she was kind, down to earth and the sweetest person he ever came across. She was an Angel.
And she had been his.
That was until he had messed it all up.
He still remembered the day vividly, and he fervently wished he didn't because just remembering the look of pain and betrayal in her stunning topaz eyes had just about killed him. She had looked at him as if she didn't recognise him and maybe she hadn't; because the person she saw that day couldn't have been him.
He would never hurt her, not deliberately.
But you did. His conscious screamed at him you hurt her. You killed her. You betrayed her.
And that was why he lost her, and he gained her.
"Lucky Fella." He muttered resolutely. His midnight blue orbs staring fixedly at the stunning couple before him, wrapped in each others embrace, lost in one another's eyes.
It was a sickeningly sweet sight, but he knew it was all real. Alexia was not the type to play the jealousy card for revenge, she was too god damn nice to play dirty and that made it hurt all the more, the knowledge that she moved on, that maybe she loves this man in her arms more than she ever loved him.
Oh how it ripped his heart apart.
But he had asked for it, hadn't he? So who could he blame other than himself?
"You're an idiot Nathaniel, a god damn idiot"
He continued looking at them, feeling almost like a pervert, but he couldn't help it. That should have been him in her arms, dancing so intimately together. That gorgeous smile of hers should have been for him, making his heart melt in his chest.
Are you sure about that? His conscious asked. You and I very well know that you never deserved her. She is in the right place after all this time.
He sighed. He knew that but it didn't mean he had to accept it.
Alexia felt the familiar feeling of someone's eyes on her, and it didn't take her a second to realise who it was that those eyes belonged to. It could only be Nathaniel Reid, her best friend, her former boyfriend. Shaking her head she looked towards the bar area where he sat staring fixedly at her, not even flinching when she caught his eyes. She smiled, it was just like him not to hide when he gets caught, he would always say what the point of hiding is, she would always know, and he was right she always did know.
Her smile faded. Sometimes she wished she didn't know him too much, maybe it would have saved her from so much hurt.
No, it saved you. Her inner self told her. It saved you from a relationship that would have given you nothing but heartbreak. It brought you to where you actually belong … with Sawyer.
Once again her face brightened. That was true, if what happened hadn't happened she would have never met her knight in shining armour, her true love. Her, Sawyer Montgomery.
However that didn't mean she hadn't wished things ended differently to how it had with Nathaniel. He had hurt her so much, had broke her heart but still he was her best friend, her first love. And no matter how much he had hurt her he had given her some of the best memories of her life, she couldn't just let it all go to dust.
"You know whenever you tune out like that, it scares the hell out of me" Her boyfriend of two years mumbled in her ears, sending delicious shivers throughout her body. "Penny for your thought"
Alexia sighed. "You probably wouldn't like it"
"Try me"
Taking a deep breath, Alexia looked into his penetrating grey eyes and felt herself loosing her control. God he was gorgeous!
"I was thinking about Nathaniel" She spoke softly feeling him stiffen at the mention of her former boyfriend.
It wasn't lost on her that her current boyfriend absolutely despised her ex, even though he had never came face to face with him. He had, bluntly may I add told her many at times how much of a bastard he thought Nathaniel Reid was for doing was he did, and constantly mentioned how he would beat him to the pulp if he ever came across him. And knowing Sawyer, Alexia had no doubt that he would go through with his words.
"What about him?" He asked his voice hard.
Alexia flinched at the sight of his clenched jaw and cold eyes and instantly wished she hadn't mentioned Nate, she hated making Sawyer angry.
"I just feel bad for what happened"
Sawyer stared at her incredulously. Is she fucking serious? "You feel bad for what happened?" He asked his voice raising. "Your not the one who …"
"Sshh" Alexia hissed, looking around to see if anyone heard "Not too loud. And yes I know what happened wasn't my fault, it was his but Sawyer he was my best friend and I know your going to think I'm crazy, but I miss my best friend"
"Your right, I do think you're crazy" He agreed. "He hurt you, and you feel bad for losing the jerk"
"You hurt me countless times as well Sawyer" She countered.
"Don't you dare" He hissed "Don't you dare compare me to him. I may have hurt you countless times, but I never did and never will go to the extent of cheating on you"
Alexia smiled sadly "I know and I'm sorry." She mumbled, allowing her head to fall on his chest as they swayed gently to the music "It's just. There's so much history between us for me to just write him of my life like that even if he did hurt me. I can't let what he did break our friendship, that's not going to make me feel any better it's just going to hurt me more. I'm not saying I'm forgetting what he did to me, because I'm not, I don't think I ever will. But yeah, I do want to forgive him and let him back in my life as a friend"
"I can't say I understand, because honestly I don't" Sawyer told her. "But if you think this is going to make you happy then go ahead. I just want your happiness"
Alexia beamed looking up at him. "And that's why I love you so much" She said, kissing him gently on his lips.
"I love you too"
Nathaniel had felt himself go rigid when he realised that Alexia was making her way towards him with purposeful stride, behind her he noticed Sawyer Montgomery glaring at him from where he stood, a look of pure loathing etched on his face.
Nate grimaced. What people said about the no nonsense lawyer was absolutely true; he could freeze anyone with one look of his eyes.
"Don't mind him" Alexia said smiling. "He's just too protective"
"Just shows how much he loves you" He said turning to look at her. God she's beautiful! "So how have you been?"
Alexia brightened up and sat beside him. "Oh great! I've finally graduated from University, working with Sylvia Monroe now much to Sawyers' dismay, according to Claudia the receptionist he's been a disorganized mess after I left" She laughed, making Nathaniel's heart flutter from hearing the melodious sound. "How about you, how have you been?"
"Okay I guess."
"You guess?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Things haven't been so great after you …."
"Nate" Alexia sighed.
They both sat in an awkward silence, remembering the times when awkwardness between them was an unfamiliar feeling, where even dragged out silence amongst them was filled with contentment and comfort, but now so much has changed and neither knows how to feel about that.
"So you and Sawyer Montgomery, how did that happen?" He asked, part because he was curious and part because he wanted to end the silence. "From what I heard about him, he doesn't seem to be the type of guy you would fall for"
Alexia grinned. "He isn't, Sawyer is far from the type of guy I would have personally wanted for myself. He's cold, he's ruthless, he's arrogant, and definitely not the kind of guy I would want my parents to meet" She told him, all the while looking towards Sawyer who was currently still glaring at Nathaniel. "But you know Nate? Love doesn't really see if he's your type or not, it just happens. And for me love happened with Sawyer"
"Does he make you happy?"
"Very" She sighed dreamily.
"Were you ever this happy with me?"
Alexia looked up startled.
That had been an unexpected question and she had no idea how to answer that. Was she ever this happy with him? She recalled every moment she spent with him, all the good memories, all the bad memories and tried to recall a time where he had made her feel remotely as happy as Sawyer did, but she couldn't remember. Sure, during her relationship with him he had always made her smile, give her nothing to complain about, except for the last few days but unlike with her relationship with Sawyer, she didn't feel as if she was on top of the world, she didn't feel happiness at the mere presence of him, he just made her feel content. While sawyer, not only made her feel content but left her with overwhelming amount of joy.
"No, I wasn't." She answered truthfully. "Not that you never made me happy, because you did. Some of my best memories are with you, but with Sawyer, he makes each day worth living."
Nathaniel chuckled dryly. "Wow"
Quietness once again engulfed them and awkwardness once again filled the air.
"What are you doing Alexia?" Nate suddenly blurted.
Alexia furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"
"I mean why are you talking to me like nothing happened. You should hate my guts, not talking like we're the best of friends" He snapped frustrated, with her, with the situation but mostly with him.
"We are best friends though. Aren't we?" She asked hesitantly.
Nathaniel gaped at her. What the hell is she made of? "Are you honestly asking me this?" He asked rhetorically. "After I cheated on you, broke your heart you still want to be my friend. Are you for fucking real?"
Alexia heaved a sigh. "You cheated on me, you broke my heart and I'll never be able to forget what you did, I may even slightly resent you for the rest of my life" She informed him, not noticing the flash of hurt that came and went from his eyes. "But even after what you did, I can't forget all the times you were there for me. I've known you since primaries, you've been my best friend through out my life, always stuck by me through thick and thin and I can't forget that. Sure you made a mistake, a giant mistake and I may never be able to trust you like I did before, but I don't think what you did is worth throwing all these years of friendship over"
"So you're saying …"
"So, I'm saying lets just put all this behind us and start anew, there's really no point in looking at our past and dampening our present and future"
Nathaniel laughed disbelievingly. "How can you be so forgiving?"
"Nate don't for a second think I'm some sort of angel, because I'm not. I think what made it easier for me to forgive you was the fact that now Sawyers in my life, and I moved on from you. If I was still hung up on you, I would probably never have forgiven you because I would have been hateful"
"But still, thanks. You have no idea how much you have ridden me off this burden I was feeling for the past two years."
Alexia just smiled gently before wrapping her arms around him. "Now that you're rid of this burden, I hope you can live your life with great happiness now. I really want to see you happy?"
"I'll try to be"
"Good"
"So finally feeling better?" Sawyer asked as Alexia rejoined him.
Alexia nodded her head; she did feel considerably lighter since she forgave Nathaniel and regained his friendship. Keeping all this resentment towards him wasn't helping her any, and now that it's all but gone she felt as if some weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
"Very"
"Good, but I swear if he hurts you ever again, I am going to murder him without a second thought" He solemnly sweared.
Alexia rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, you wouldn't need to because there's nothing Nate can do or say that can hurt me now, but you on the other hand …." She trailed off, grinning mischievously.
"I will never hurt you. Okay maybe a little bit, but I swear I'll never break your heart because breaking you heart will mean breaking mine"
"Awww, is my ruthless knight going soft on me" She teased.
Sawyer glared at her playfully and pulled her under his arms, gently mussing up her hair as they both laughed.
"I love you" She said finally.
Sawyer gazed softly at her "I love you too."
Nathaniel stared at the two and smiled sadly. Although he was absolutely ecstatic that he had regained his friendship with Alexia, there was still a part of him that was mourning for the loss of his love. For all he did to hurt her, his love for her had been true and that part that loved her was crying in agony today, because he realised that his love story will never get it's happily ever after. However, beggars' can't be choosers and he would make do with anything she gives him, even if it just her friendship.
FIN
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