"relapse"
8.26.11
listening to: "self-fulfilling prophecy" maria mena


i thought i was getting better. i glimpsed
the sky, the beauty, i saw the stars and the moon and
i looked at the sun and it didn't even blind me.

i was so sure that this was the real thing,
that i was honestly going to get better. i
was prepared to lead a happy life. in a few years,
i would have looked back at this time
and smiled sadly. thinking, damn, i lost a lot of time
to pain. but i'm better now, and i'll never feel like that
again.
i spent two weeks smiling, laughing, alive.

and that's why this hurts all the more.