Starting Over Alone

It's been a long time coming, this break
I go to bed the night before
Knowing I've had more than I could take
So I showed myself the door.

I close my eyes and begin to dream
The many dreams of many types
Some are laden with mournful screams
While some are jumping, full of hype

That I finally found myself again
That eventually I'll be okay
But then they shift to the tragic end
And I feel ridden with dismay

That I had to leave you all alone
But now you're just like me
Fighting the demons and pain unknown
Pleading for somebody to see

That all you want is love and joy
That you want to be treated fair
That your feelings are more than toys
And to have someone that's always there.

But I never got those pleasures—
At least never once from you—
But now I have a freedom to treasure
And even though I'm feeling blue

These feelings will wear thin with time
And I'll get myself up off the ground
With time I'll have forgotten all your crimes
And I'll be making a more happy sound

My eyes will regain their colored light
My face will glow with a smile
My soul will learn for what to fight…
But all of it will take a while.

Until then I'll have to trudge and muddle
Through a daily war against the tears
That on the floor of my room create a puddle
In which I count up all the years

To which you and I were connected
Sharing our lives and building our forever
Until the relationship I finally inspected
And saw the ties I had to sever

When you were never there for me
And you constantly broke my heart
Then alone again I'd find I'd be
And with each new day, the cycle'd restart.

You tell me that you gave it your best
But I apologize that it wasn't enough
My heart's exploding out of my chest
But I know that I have to be tough

And get through the withdrawal phase
And recover the impending sorrow
And somewhere in this tearful haze
I'll find hope for a happier tomorrow.

I'm no longer afraid to be alone
Finally ready to give my life another shot
I'm ready to start over all on my own
Because in life that's all I've got.