What makes these damned goodbyes so miserable?
Why are they so hard to say?
Just two syllables and yet we stumble over them...
Is it because we know that we'll be separated from that person?
That beautiful reassurance of having that person in the same town, and thus, reachable,
Is something that can't really be found everywhere.
Maybe it's because you know, no one else is going to make you feel or treat you like that person did.
Like you were someone special, like you mattered and that they did care- genuinely.
The honesty of these feelings could be examined and yet words come short.
Just those two syllables...
Maybe I don't really want to let go...
Maybe I just don't want to
Miss how that person progresses and
Miss being there to reassure that person when their dreams don't exactly fall into place like they expected it to...
I don't know what to say. I just want to clasp on and never-ever-never let go.
Maybe this is why people want to become millionaires...
So they can follow the people they love and never have to say 'goodbye', at least in this world.
It's a depressing thought but it kills me that I can't see this beautiful-beautiful person I have waited for my entire life, grow up.
It's a distressing thought that I don't know whether this time, I'll be seeing them five years later or even more.
It's decidedly unfair that just when I got to know this amazing person, that person has to go.
I don't know why these goodbyes have to be so difficult.
Maybe it's because I know that the next time I see that person
And I look into their eyes and tell them that I loved them and missed-missed-missed them,
I am scared that this connection we had would be lost
And we'd just be another pair of strangers on the mucky streets.
Sure, they'll know my name and I'll know their's but they're going to give me a fake smile and say,
"I love you and I missed you too",
But then they don't mean it, do they?
Maybe it's cause you know that the next time you're looking into their eyes,
You'll be looking into a hardened gaze that shows no sign of familiarity.
And you'll be there, left alone again,
In that castle of clouds that have just collapsed all around you.
Until you do it all again.