Photographs

I don't know why I do this to myself

Every time is the same

But yet I still chose to do it

These photographs are scattered around me

And though the people inside them look happy

They only show my pain

I'm never in the photos

Most thought I was camera shy

But I knew different

I'm not in the first batch of these photos because the photographer didn't like me

She was my sister

It hurt

The second round I'm absent from because I wasn't invited

It was a family reunion

It killed me

The only photo I have that I actually like is one of my niece and I

We're both smiling, happy

It's one of my fondest memories

I'm not allowed to see my niece anymore

My sister said I was too much of a bad influence on her daughter to be around her

The rest of the family agreed