Off Again

The time has come for you to go off again
Left me here to spend the days alone
Away with a plastered smile you I send
Refusing to let my pain be known

I stare into space with face devoid
Of any sort of signs that I have disdain
Living my life like a robotic android
Trying my best to ignore the pain

Wishing I'd be happy that you are pleased
While you're gone away from me
But wishing my anguish would be eased
And from myself I try to flee

By throwing myself into stupid things
That normally I would never do
Because the misery that loneliness brings
Drives me to the ledge of following through

With ideas that normally me you'd chide
But without you here I just don't care
When you ask if I'm okay, my sorrow I hide
But yet I cannot give you a direct stare

In the eye to show you that I do not lie
And when you leave I let the emotions flow
Thousands of burning tears I cry
Every time I have to let you go.

Too little time and too much on your plate
To the point that I get left behind
When you get back it is way too late
To undo the damage this does to my mind

The bitterness fills my chest with a pressure tight
The sorrow causes my eyes to hurt and burn
Desperation leaves me with no end in sight
To the misery that makes my stomach churn

But this appears to be what you really love
And from you I can't take that away
So forgive me if from you I shove
But I can't let you see my tears today

So I watch as you head away once more
I wave with a smile and turn away in tears
Crying with loneliness while the world you explore
I yell for attention, but I know you don't hear

Another night I lay upon the pillow my head
Knowing that I'm sleeping and waking on my own
Spending a night tossing and turning instead
My mattress turning into a bed of stone

Can't watch you disappear into the sunset
When it's on you that I so deeply depend
Hoping to God that I you do not forget
When you have to go off again…