(Looking at her picture)

I sit on my bed
curled up on my side
fully clothed
even my black Converse
are on my feet.

I am looking
at the picture
on my nightstand
the one of us
the two of us
Antonia and me...

She is hamming it up
as usual
lips in a puckered kiss
eyes half shut
cheek pressed against mine
her arm is around my shoulder
and I am laughing
my eyes sparkle
we are both so happy...

I close my eyes
turn my face away
why can't we
go back to that
why can't we
be like we were...