One day in Manhattan, a five year old kid named Michael (known as "Mikey") was out at the park harassing pigeons while his parents were busy reading the New York Post. Mikey was a curious boy who enjoys running around in the outside world, touching everything he sees, in fact one time it got him into trouble few years ago due to a strange reason...
Mikey was three when he got lost in the mall and wandered around for hours looking for his parents before bumping into a massively obese woman. The woman screamed and accused the kid of trying to molest her and even went as far as suing Mikey's family. Thankfully, the court dismissed the lawsuit since no one in a right mind would have taken this seriously.
Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the last time Mikey would hear from the crazy woman.
Linda Laze is a person who loves to dwell in misery.
She has been that way for as long as she can remember without any intention to change. For example, when the Giants won the Super Bowl, she would go and send scathing letters to the newspaper for having a ticker tape parade. She claimed that its because the troops were snubbed but the truth is that she doesn't care about them, just wanted to find an excuse to do what she did.
One time in the mall, a kid stumbled and bumped right onto her. Linda Laze being the kind of person with an overgrown ego as large as that of an average Redskins fan (or their owner Dan Snyder for that matter), she figured that with her "beauty", she can sue the kid's family and succeed. Linda didn't realize that as bad as the judicial system have gotten, even they have standards when it comes to how ridiculous this case happens to be. Upon the lawsuit's rejection by the court, Linda swore revenge on the boy and threatened to return one day once the time was right.
Mikey was free to roam around, even screamed at pigeons that were eating whatever scraps being thrown to them by a lonely elderly man. The old man then said, "Kid, please leave the birds alone, they can be your friends..." before dropping dead.
Mikey said, "Really? Okay, birdy wanna play?" before continuing to chase the pigeons.
Unbeknownst to the five year old boy, an imposing figure came up right behind him with a knife and slit the kid in the throat.
"Now, my revenge is complete!" Linda sneered as she went to cover the body with a jar of honey and cover it with bird seeds. Mikey's body would eventually be consumed by a flock of pigeons, leaving nothing, not even a scrap of bone.
Later that night, Linda was at her apartment tossing and turning when she decided to fix herself a late-night snack by ordering a box of sausage pizza with extra cheese. An hour later, Linda heard a knock on the door and she screamed, "IT'S ABOUT TIME!"
She went to open the door, ready to berate the delivery boy only to find a small boy standing there instead. Linda took another look and to her horror, it was the same boy she have viciously murdered in cold blood earlier that day. The obese woman proceeds to soil her pants and said, "It...can't be...you're dead..."
The boy sadly looks on and said, "Why?"
"Why did you hurt me?"
Linda started to back away and scream, "YOU'RE DEAD! I KILLED YOU! I FUCKING KILLED YOU!" before throwing empty soda bottles at the kid, only to watch them going right through his body...
"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! I KILLED YOU!"
The boy slowly glides toward Linda as the obese woman stumbled and falls right out of her apartment window, tearing through an awning of a local deli which still manages to slow down her fall. Linda would be in the hospital in a canatonic state as her family would come to pay her a visit when a police officer and the detective shows up to question her, only to learn that she isn't in any condition to answer. This puts Linda in a bigger bind than ever as an investigation have been made to determine why she fell out of the window since the ruckus was heard, leading to her neighbors' beliefs that there was an attack.
During the investigation, a bloody knife was found despite the fact that Linda washed it sometime after she murdered Mikey. The knife was send to the forensics to test the blood in order to find out whom it belonged to. Once the test results came out, it's revealed that the blood on the knife belong to a boy who have been missing for over a week at that point.
But Linda would mysterious vanish before she gets questioned and the investigators became baffled. The tape surveillance camera was then analyzed to find out what happened but to their surprise, the comatose murder suspect simply vanished into a puff of smoke.
Linda finds herself floating in a endless void with several people each looking like they have been lobotomized. Some of the people moaned while others groaned about how miserable their lives were.
Linda didn't realize what was going on and thought that the whole thing might have been a bad dream so she pinched herself to no avail. Afterward, Linda decided to wait until the "dream" ends so that maybe everything will be back to normal, after all, seeing a kid she killed coming back to life was pretty crazy, what are the odds of that happening?
As time went on, Linda slowly began to realize that it wasn't a dream, she is being punished!
What a fitting punishment it is as Linda will spend the rest of the eternity dwelling in misery like she had in her life. This time, there will be several people in the dark void to keep her company.
Moral: Misery loves company