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insons: Funny you mentioned that ;D Have you been reading my personal notes?

Anonymous Writer: PFFF! I always read my reviews! I love them- I'm an addict! I neeeeeeedddd them!

and in Rory's defense he only told Carson because he was terrified he messed up by cuming on Ashton and felt bad about- at the time it just slipped out. He knows he messed up with that,

My poor toaster

I IS SICK TOO XDDDDD lol. I'm dosed up on cold medication. I would never kill Tashyson XP Also Thanks for the reviews XDDD


Chapter Twenty Three:

I was sitting on the stage. I hadn't turned on the lights and my cheeks still had tear marks and I was still adding some. I couldn't stop crying since I met with Tyson. I just had a lot of pain.

Everything was so messed up. I couldn't have sex without a major tragedy happening. My heart hurt. Everything hurt. I wanted to die again. I just messed up everything I touched. I was like acid to the people I knew.

The door opened and a silhouette of a tall guy walked in. I knew instantly it was Rory and my body shook a little. I didn't want to see him- I didn't want to talk to him. I just wanted to be gone.

"Ashton!" He called but I ignored it. I kind of felt dead. After I had cried with Tyson I told him to get his things and go back to our room. He didn't need to hide from me anymore. But even after an hour or so just balling my eyes out with him I still was crying. I couldn't help it.

I could hear Rory walk up the stairs to the stage and sit down next to me before he tried to kiss me. I pulled away and looked at the floor. I felt cold inside.

"Ashton?" he asked, realizing I wasn't acting normal. "Are you okay?"

"Why did you tell Tyson all that stuff?" I asked, hiccuping a little in my words. I was getting pretty emotional.

His hand that had reached over to touch me but fell as my words left my mouth. "What?" He asked sounding slight mad. "You talked to Tyson?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah- why did you say-," I was about to repeat the question, but Rory cut me off.

"I told you not to!" He snapped.

"I know- why did you-," I tried again. It was actually pretty hard to talk at the moment. I was practically choking on my own words.

"You cheated on me, Ashton!" he yelled, getting up. "That's why- you were supposed to be mine and you-. " He paused to collect himself. "When I was in the hall I heard him talking to one of his friends about how he wished he could have remembered how it felt to have sex with you. His friend told him he would have another chance because I sucked in bed. I got mad Ash. I had to- do something."

His voice was distraught, and maybe I would have picked up on that if I wasn't so mad and frustrated myself. "You hurt him!" I tried to explain my position. I didn't like seeing Tyson hurt. Especially if it was because of lies.

"He had sex with my boyfriend!" Rory said, sounding like he wanted to swear badly. "I'm not allowed to be mad about that?"

I turned to watch him, although between the darkness and the fact I was still crying I couldn't see him all that well. "No! You get to be mad! You get to be furious! With me! Hate me! If you're mad- be mad at me!"

I could slightly hear him make a bitter laugh. "Ashton I love you-,"

"And I love you, but I messed up!" I cried. "I- slept with someone else. It's my fault!"

Rory's hand hit one of the walls. "You said you weren't ready! You wanted to wait!" he said, breaking down finally getting mad at me. "I was fine with that- and then you sleep with him? Why?"

"Because I was drunk- and mad- and stupid!" I said and licked my lips. "Rory it should have been you the first time. It should have been! But I made the mistake! I did! You should be mad at me!"

"I am!" He yelled back before there was dead silence. For a couple of beats. "I'm angry! But I don't want to take it out on you! I love you! I don't fucking want to hate you!"

"But you do- don't you? You hate me," I said coming to the conclusion on my own.

Rory came over and pushed me over climbing on top of me. "I fucking love you- I hate what you did. I don't hate you." He hissed. "I love you- I love you Ashton. Why did you do what you did?"

His hands clenched on my shoulders squeezing them tightly. "Because- I was an idiot and I suck when I drink and I was mad- and I was going to have sex with you that night," I admitted. "I guess I wanted to have sex and in my drunken state I just- I had sex with Tyson."

He crushed his lips on to mine forcefully making me submit to the brutality of the kiss. "You love me though? It was just a mistake-,"

"I don't know." I muttered. "I love you- but I love him-,"

I was cut off with another strong kiss. "Don't. Don't love him," Rory urged me.

"He's my best friend," I whined.

"What am I?" He asked. "I thought I was your best friend?"

It was sort of strange having the conversation so close with him on top of me, but I couldn't focus on that. "Yeah well- you are I have two."

He rolled off me. "What are we going to do?" He asked quietly.

I swallowed hard. "I think we should take some time- I'm not going to date anyone but," I stopped. "You can date people if you want. I just- can't handle any of this."

"You're breaking up with me?" he asked, sounding both angry and distraught.

"I'm asking you for- time. No dating, kissing, - sex. Just friends. I need friends," I muttered. I really did need time. I had a lot of thinking to do. A lot of self reflection. I needed it.

He sat up. "You don't get to break up with me! You're the one that cheated!"

I looked down away from him. "Okay. Break up with me," I whispered.

"I don't want to," Rory replied slightly whining throwing his arm around me and kissing my face. "I love you Ash- I'm scared to break up with you. You might not come back."

I turned my face towards him again. "Rory, I love you. I need time. I'll come back."

"But- you chose Tyson before." He whispered and that's when it hit me. Everything Rory had done was because he was even more insecure about us than I was. He was worried about us.

I bite my lip and leaned towards him pressing our lips together. "I love you," I whispered against his lips. "And I promise- I will be with you again. I just need some-,"

He cut me off with another kiss. "Sex, one last time. Before our break- just one more time." He begged, and I nodded slowly.

He moved on top of me and started kissing me all over. It wasn't very romantic for me though. It just felt like something I had to do. Rory deserved to have me one more time before our break. It was like I was giving him something I gave to Tyson. It was only fair.

His hands slid up my shirt and messaged my stomach before undoing my pants.

I heard the door open."Ashton you still in here?" Tyson asked into the darkness.

Both Rory and I froze.

"I can sort of see you-," He said and I heard him walk closer. "That's you right? I just need to talk to someone."

My heart paused. What was I supposed to do? Rory was on top of me- he was undoing my pants.

"Tyson- we're busy." Rory spoke lowly. He was obviously still mad.

Tyson stopped on the stage, I hadn't realized he had gotten that far. "You- you're having-," He paused. "Never mind- I-I-I have to go." He turned and started walking very fast down the stairs to the aisle.

"Wait!" I said feeling distraught. I tried to get out of under Rory. "Wait Tyson!"

The door opened and I saw his figure disappear. Rory ground his hips into mine. "Please?" he asked, and it was like he already knew what I was going to do.

I shook my head. "No, I have to go- we'll finish this later," I slid my hand down his face. "I do love you Roar. I can't leave Tyson alone right now- He might- I don't know he's torn up."

He nodded. "Yeah- you're done with me now." He laughed bitterly.

I stopped. "No- I'm not. I still love you Roar." I said. "Come with me. Just- don't say anything to hurt him."

Tyson was curled up in the top bunk when I walked in. He was sniffling but it was obvious before he heard the door opened he was full out bawling. I heard him crying from down the hall.

"Ty." I tried closing the door behind Rory. It made a creaking noise, and I closed it quickly. "Ty?" I asked and climbed towards him on the bed.

He looked up and saw Rory behind me. "Come-on! Seriously? You want to show me how awesome your sex life is up close?" he spat with a hurt look. "Couldn't let me just be in pain without a show?"

I pulled myself up and rubbed the tears on his face. "That's not what I'm doing," I whispered to him. "I'm taking a break- from guys- from dating. So I said I'd have sex with him one last time- but that's it. And I wouldn't do it in front of you! I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that."

"I could," Rory snorted.

I shot a glare at him. When the hell did he become such an ass? I guess around the time I cheated.

"Ty-," I started again.

"I want that too." He whispered meekly.

I turned my head on its side. "What?"

"I want sex too." He said sitting up and wiping his own tears away. "He get's sex one last time- me too. I want sex too. Everyone is mad at me for doing it already and I can't even remember any of it. So-," He straightened himself swallowing. "I want sex too."

I squinted at him. "You want-," I started and trailed off and he nodded.

Rory barked out a laugh. "No!" He said sounding like it was outrageous to suggest but from my position- it really was no more crazy than what he was asking me to do. "You can't fuck my boyfriend Tyson," he dead panned. "No."

"Hey!" I snapped. "It's my body." I wasn't sure if I was going to actually let Tyson but it was my decision. Not Rory's.

"Ashton!" Rory complained. "I- what?" He asked confused.

I shrugged from my position on Tyson's bed. "It's fair- I guess. I mean he can't even remember our first time and he's been feeling guilty about it."

Tyson smiled even though his makeup was messed up and his eyes still were watery. "Really? We can?" He looked somewhat exited.

I looked from Rory to Tyson to Rory to Tyson again. I didn't know what to do. It was the weirdest thing I had ever had to decide.

"I get him last." Rory said frustrated and I looked at him like he was psychotic. "That way he'll remember me most..." he trailed off with a shy smile. "Okay that was a stupid thing to say out loud." He took a breath and blushed.

Tyson looked at him with a disgusted expression. "I don't care- I'll just be happy to get him at all," he whispered.

I shook my head. "Guys- you know what I haven't decided any of this yet. Stop getting ahead of me." I complained slightly.

Tyson frowned and reached towards me. "I'm sorry. Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere," I sighed. I saw Rory flinch. "We are all going to hang out right now," I said nodding. "Yep."

"What?" they chorused at the same time. It was kind of cartoonish.

"Hang out."

"You said we could have sex before-,"

"Do you honestly think having sex with him is going to make him stay with you?" Tyson interrupted and I flinched. I hadn't really deciphered that was Rory's goal. It did make sense though.

Rory laughed. "And what are you doing?" he snorted.

"I can't believe you guys!" I yelled and jumped off Tyson's bed but fell on my hands and knees none too gracefully.

I shuffled on to my bed and sat in a huff. The whole stalking off to my own space was slightly ineffective when we shared a room.

I pulled my knees up and held them with my head buried in them.

After a few minutes of silence sans the sound of switching arm movements and a slight bed creak, I felt the bed dip and Rory's large had rub my back. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

I didn't respond. At the moment I wanted to crawl into my shell and never come out.

I felt the bed dip on the other side and Tyson's head press against my shoulder. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Please don't- get depressed."

I picked my head up. "You guys think it only effects you. Don't you? But guess what? Being in love with both of you- hurts. You hate each other because of me. You guys hate each other because of what I did, and I love you both like crazy, and it's driving me nuts, and I'm trying so hard to fix it, but I can't." As I ranted I felt my lungs start to burn. "I love you both and I know that sounds stupid and slutty and pathetic but- I do! I love you and I made you hate each other!" I think I was starting to yell. "I don't know what to do! I want you both and that's why I-" My somewhat psychotic break was interrupted when Rory grabbed my face and kissed me hard.

I pulled back, and Tyson grabbed my face giving me a kiss too. I was confused but Rory didn't seem to care about Tyson claiming my lips. Instead he moved his attention to my chest kissing it through the shirt.

I had no idea what was happening but my body seemed to like it. At least I was fairly certain it did. I was a little too off focused to really know.

I had no idea what they were doing or how they were getting along. Maybe they weren't though. It seemed like they were competing in a way.

Rory pushed up my shirt and touched my bare chest. He placed open mouth kisses and as that started to drive my attention away from Tyson's message on my lips his hand snaked to my pants. His fingers kneaded my jeans and I moaned into his mouth.

A slight part of me couldn't believe it was really happening.

I mean every guy fantasizes of a threesome- but every time I had before it was with two girls. It was before I knew I preferred guys- yeah I'm not saying I prefer dick that bluntly.

So I wasn't quite sure on how it worked with three guys doing the deed together.

It was really erotic to have to guys I loved feeling me up and kissing me- everywhere.

Rory had moved from kissing my stomach to kissing the area of my jeans Tyson was recently touching.

I broke my lips from the Goth's and glanced down to watch Rory- fuck that was hot. It was even hotter when Tyson leaned down and put his hand on the side of Rory's face bringing him up for a momentary kiss, and then they both brought their mouths on me making the fabric feel even tighter against me.

"Oh! Fuck!" I shouted my head spinning. I felt someone yank at my pants but I couldn't be sure who it was and before I knew it they were gone and two guys were licking my dicks. Not only two guys- two guys I was in love with.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head. "Guys," I moaned out.

I was tugged up onto Rory's lap as his hands supported my back. Tyson kissed my shoulders and my back working down.

I shoved my hands in the back of Rory's shirt moving my hips on his. Which wasn't as sexy feeling as it should have been. He still had his pants on and it sort of hurt my balls.

I pulled back and sat up on my knees moving myself into his chest. That felt better. I reached behind me and pushed down on Tyson's pants. He got the hint and started undoing them.

I felt Rory's arms wrap around my legs and start working on his own belt and without the constant distraction of hot boys touching me I felt like I might have been making a mistake.

But soon they were back to making me feel mindless and I was okay with it all.

Before I knew it I sliding lube all over Rory's cock and moving down on it and before I knew it Tyson was pressing himself against my entrance as well.

And that hurt. "Fuck!" I screamed. Rory seemed to want to sooth me.

"Just breathe. It's good. Just Relax. You'll love it," he assured me, rubbing my back

Tyson stopped actually. "You okay?" he asked in pants.

I could barely take Rory's monster cock let alone another one in me.

Rory pushed me on my back though. "I love you too- We love you," he said solidly before inserting a finger to me next to himself. "Can you handle this?" he asked.

I bit my lip and nodded.

He pulled me back up. He put his lips on my shoulder sucking it before looking up at Tyson. "Fingers first- stretch him," he directed.

I felt a slippery skinny finger inside me and as Rory started to thrust up into me I discovered that a little extra girth was okay. It felt good.

Little did I know how great it would feel to have both of them inside me completely. It was like I was connected to both of them at the same time. Heart and soul- and damn it! It felt good.

They moved at different speeds and even though it hurt like hell during the whole thing it was the best thing I'd ever experienced. I didn't want it to end. Ever.

Well, until morning.

A/N Any one like this? Or was it just my cold medicine-sleep deprived, brain?