do you remember the night
we
snorted an entire bottle of vicodin
between four people?

of course not, you weren't there.

all just psychedelic silhouettes
of what we really were,
we nursed a bottle of whiskey -
completely naked. we passed
it between us, all admitting
the reasons
we were trying to forget.

i remember sitting in a storage closet -
i sat between his legs, his arms wrapped around
my breasts.
i remember lifting the pipe to my lips.

salvia divinorum: salvia of the ghosts.
and suddenly you were there.

do you remember being at
that train station with me?

of course not, you weren't really there.
neither was i, i suppose.

i don't know the name of the station
or where it was, but i know i've been
there before. we sat on the edge of
the platform with our legs dangling over
the edge. somehow we knew a train
wasn't coming. not now, not ever.

"stay with me rachelle."

they told me, when i woke up
three hours later, that i had been crying
while smiling.

do you remember how he threw me
against the bathroom floor?

of course not, you weren't there.