do you remember the night
snorted an entire bottle of vicodin
between four people?

of course not, you weren't there.

all just psychedelic silhouettes
of what we really were,
we nursed a bottle of whiskey -
completely naked. we passed
it between us, all admitting
the reasons
we were trying to forget.

i remember sitting in a storage closet -
i sat between his legs, his arms wrapped around
my breasts.
i remember lifting the pipe to my lips.

salvia divinorum: salvia of the ghosts.
and suddenly you were there.

do you remember being at
that train station with me?

of course not, you weren't really there.
neither was i, i suppose.

i don't know the name of the station
or where it was, but i know i've been
there before. we sat on the edge of
the platform with our legs dangling over
the edge. somehow we knew a train
wasn't coming. not now, not ever.

"stay with me rachelle."

they told me, when i woke up
three hours later, that i had been crying
while smiling.

do you remember how he threw me
against the bathroom floor?

of course not, you weren't there.