also, i hate when it's misaligned. so i'm getting that out of the way. :)
i liked to convince myself that if i could be
hungry, hungry, hungry,
then i would be happy, so happy. i would be
worthy. i promised myself
five more pounds will really be enough
and then i'd finally glow.
i used to need that reassurance.
a long time ago. i had to tell myself
if i lose the weight i will be happy.
but i don't, not anymore. now
it's not about losing weight or being happy,
it's only about being empty, so empty,
sharp and clear and someone you can't recognize.
(it's hard to believe i was ever anybody else.)