1. Turn everything in the electronic store up at top volume.1

2. Go in the Yankee Candle Company and tell them it's against the constitution to have a store Southerners can't go into2

3. Go into Old Navy dressed as a soldier. Say you are a veteran, and since they are named after the navy you figure they support veterans and will give you a discount.3

4. Go snorkeling in the penny fountain.4

5. Buy a pucket of ping-pongs and release them down the escalators.5

6. Mix up the pets in the pet store. Put a guinea pig in with a snake, a cat with a dog, and other lovely combinations.6

7. Stand on the escalator waving your arms madly and say, " Help me, help me, the stairs are ALIVE!"7

8. Ride scooter through one of those hoity toity fancy stores that only sell suits, yelling," Yee ha!"8

9. Go to the bed part of JC Penny's and clamber under the covers fully clothed. When a salesperson comes up to make you get out, just snore and act like you're fast asleep.9

10. Go into a decapitating frenzy at the make your own teddy bear place. ( with the teddies, of course)10

11. Scare the little girls getting ears pierced at Claire's with details of how if they don't take careof their ears they'll turn black and rot off.11

12. In Victoria's secret, come out of the dressing room in a thong and bra, asking everyone around you, " How do I look? Is this sexy enough for my big date?"12

13. Try on a dress that is four sizes smaller than you are. When it gets stuck, call a saleslady to help you rip it off. Apologize profusely. Then repeat this incident three times.13

14. Walk into Hot Topic wearing a dress much like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde would wear. Ask the workers in a very Valley Girl voice the stupidest, most airheaded questions you can think of for 45 minutes straight.14

15. Go to the climbing wall at the sports store and insist you will climb it with only your feet, absolutely no hands. Keep persevering diligently as an angry crowd watching you waits for their turn.15