1. Answer the phone in pig Latin. Pretend to speak only that " language".2

2. Yell, " For the last time Bobby, we're through!" and slam the phone.3

3. Begin to , " You're always watching! You always know where I am? How do you keep finding me?"4

4. Say, " This is serial killers inc. What is your favorite scary movie? As you listen to this recording, we are sending out one of our killers to your house. Do you want to die tonight?"5

5. Say, " Yo, pervert house. What color panties are you wearing?"6

6. When they ask to speak to your parents, reply, "They're dead. I killed them."7

7. Say, " I'm taking a shower. Right now. But we can talk anyway if you want."8

8. Ask them if you can speak to THEIR mother.9

9. Answer in baby talk.10

10. Say, " Hold on, I have a beep". Leave them on hold for as long as it takes for them to hang up.11

11. Blow a whistle into the receiver. When they yell at you, say, " Oh my bad, I thought it was a dog whistle."12
12. Say " You have reached the mental institution. Would you like to speak to a patient?"13

13. Answer, " Welcome to the Good Burger,home of the good burger, can I take your order?"14

14. Say, " You have just contacted a phone virus. Hang up before your phone explodes."15

15. Say, " Um, could you call back later? I'm in the middle of a Satanic ritual. The victim's screaming."16

16. Blow into the receiver every three seconds. Blame it on a bad phone connection.17

17. After every sentence, say " Huhhhh?" When they start to explain, interrupt, " Huhhh?" Repeat.18

18. Say, "My mommy told me never to talk to strangers."19