Angels and Demons Don't Mix

An original short story for Azazæl, by Fallen Soul.


Valoel woke, rubbing his eyes and blinking. Not that it did him any good; he couldn't see anything in the darkness that surrounded him. He unfurled his wings and stretched, each joint and muscle protesting as he groped around blindly.

"You look ridiculous." A sardonic voice sounded in front of him, making Val straighten up and adjust his toga self-consciously.

"Charming." Unsure where to look, he aimed his non-vision at where he thought the voice was coming from. "How can you even tell?"

"I can see. You can't." The voice answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, of course. How silly of me." Val couldn't see it, but a smirk spread across his acquaintance's face. He rolled his eyes and continued. "Mind telling me where I am?"

"It's… a long story."

"I've got time." The unseen man's irritation was tangible, and Val was almost glad he couldn't see the glare he felt prickling his skin. After a long, uncomfortable moment void of response he sighed, and pressed on. "At least tell me who you are, then. And why you can see and I can't."

"I'm Azazel." The voice told him begrudgingly.

"Wonderful. Mind if I call-"

"Yes, yes I do."

The brusque interruption couldn't disrupt Val's relentless light-heartedness though, and he just smiled.

"Well, alrighty then. As nice as it is to have met you, Zel-"

"Azazel." Zel hissed insistently at him, only to be ignored.

"- I really must be going. Do you happen to know where I can find the demon king?"

Val's friendly smile fell into an expression of confusion when Azazel started to laugh. It was a harsh, mocking sound, but underneath that Val was sure it sounded deeply bitter.

"Do I look like a tour guide?" Azazel's voice was like acid, almost making Val flinch.

"Well… no. I was just… hoping…" He said awkwardly.

"I've got better things to do than babysit you." Azazel scoffed.

Val tried to let the mockery wash over him, but his caustic companion was not exactly easy to deal with.

"Huh. Well… could you just point me in the right direction? Please?" He asked, running his hands through the pink curls of his hair.

"Not much point, is there? You'd only get more lost." Azazel seemed to be getting increasingly more irate, and Val wondered if he was always this bad-tempered.

"It's just, I'm supposed to be delivering a message."

"Oh, well, in that case I'd just love to play follow the leader." Jeez, Azazel thought, this guy is sure as hell persistent.

"Y'know, they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." Val put on a falsely admonishing voice, hoping to lighten the mood.

"They were being sarcastic when they said that." Azazel shot back, unimpressed. Val laughed anyway, amused by Azazel's barbed sense of humour.

"Ah, I'd never thought of that."

"What a surprise." Azazel sounded thoroughly bored of Valoel and his corrosively contented outlook. Val forced another chuckle.

"Ah, very good. Well… uh… I'd really better try to find… the… king…" All Val could do was pick a direction and walk in it, but he did it with as much dignity as a confused, disorientated angel with pink hair and no clue if he was about to walk into something could muster. Azazel watched his fumbling for a short while as he stumbled off in the wrong direction, and then he sighed. Azazel vehemently denied having a conscience, or any desire to help the angel; he insisted he was doing it because the demon king might want to hear the message, but whatever the reason, he yelled out to the angel, who'd just fallen over –

"Wrong way, moron." He received a huff in reply as Val got up again, dusting his creamy white toga off. The angel turned and began striding off to his right, but he was halted again.

"Still wrong." Azazel rolled his eyes, but Val just turned once more, about to set off on his newly adjusted course. "Wrong. Look, just follow my voice." And he stalked off without looking back, telling Val to "Hurry up" and "Stop dawdling" at intervals. He could hear his ward's shuffling behind him, trying to keep up with the demon. At one point he started whistling. Whistling.

"Keep that up and I'll let you find your own way." Azazel had thrown over his shoulder, and the whistling stopped. Moments later, Valoel started to hum. "Shut. Up!" Azazel's frustrated tone had left Val trying not to laugh; the grumpy demon clearly needed a sense of fun.

"Oh, Zelly." Azazel's eye started to twitch. "You just need to-"

"If you say relax, I'm going to punch you in your stupid angel face."