You sit in the kitchen and try to be sociable, book in hand, bottles piled up. There are the sounds of summer and students and sun outside, pouring in through the half open door. All of this mixes and clashes and blends with the off key singing of the guys downstairs, the guys you've lived with for a week but you still don't remember. It's all the songs you'd expect from a guy, all the songs you'd usually hear, there's nothing extra ordinary about sex and beer.

Why are you sat there? You wonder. Everyone's sleeping off the effects of everyone else's night out. You are awake because you are tired of filling the lonely hours with sleep and drawing so you feel good at something for once, even though you're mediocre. People look in and say 'wow, you're so good!' though you feel so bad and the mix makes you one of the in-between, not the extreme. That's all there is to it, though you sketch and sketch in black and white, there is no black and white. There is grey, in between, everything the same. Black and white is the language of dreamers, the language of justice and injustice. Black and white are just buzz words. Words that buzz. Buzz in your head.

Still sitting, in silence, too afraid of your voice to attempt a weak harmony, you hold the book in your hand and read. It's something intelligent and witty and at the same time dim, the summary says 'innovative' and 'unique' but those are just words, buzz words, words that buzz in your head, the buzz of the media hive.

All that really lies between those pages are the rambling, trailing thoughts of those who are lost, because we are all lost at some point. They write all the words that are off limits, adult, swearing because it's shocking still and they want to prove they're grown ups. Independent, responsible. It all seems like childish babble to you. But children are the best hypocrites, and book in hand you're a child too.

You can analyze and criticize and condemn it's unoriginality all you want, everything is the same now. Nothing is perfect or special. Those are just words. Buzz words.