This is my third story. I have other stories in mind but for now I'll start with these three. Eventually I plan on doing a fourth story but I'll get it started when I finish High School Servant. This story is written from Annabel's point of view. Her memories are written in Italics. She won't have many memories only some which will include her past interaction with Ryan.
"NOW BOARDING GROUP C", I heard the speaker announce. I hesitantly got up taking my purse and ipod. Then my ipod slipped out of my fingers and landed on the floor, I'm really a clumsy person, some things never change. When I bent to pick up my ipod, I saw a man's huge hand reach for it. I looked up and was met with a pair of dark almond gorgeous eyes that contrasted with my gray eyes. He looked around twenty eight years old about six years older than me. He smiled and handed me the ipod.
"Thank you sir", I said nervously reaching for it. I flinched as our hands touched for a second before I yanked my hand back with my ipod. He laughed at my fear of our hand contact. I really don't like people touching me, especially strangers. Even if they happen to be cute.
"Your Welcome, Miss", he said looking at my body intently while licking his lips. I started feeling insecure and gave him one last look before walking away to board for my flight back home. I stood in line waiting to hand my ticket over when I felt someone standing close behind me. I slowly turned around and found that same guy looking at me. I could feel him staring at my back until he cleared his throat.
"Why hello again Miss. What a coincidence that we're boarding the same group and flight", he said with a hint of flirtation.
I glanced at him for a quick second before staring ahead and ignoring him. I wanted to get out of this situation soon, I felt so weird being around a handsome guy. Finally it was my turn and I quickly handed in my ticket and entered the plane. I made it to my seat which was next to the window. There was a elderly woman sitting next to me who fell asleep right away. I looked out the window for a while. Then I saw the same guy again passing by my seat. He looked my way as he walked to his seat which was a couple seats behind me. I sighed softly and rested my head against the window.
Having cute guys check me out was a foreign topic. I wasn't use to it. It made me feel uncomfortable but before I remember when I used to complain when they didn't look at me. I would fantasize about myself and in that moment I saw myself as beautiful. Even though no one could see it but I saw someone beautiful hidden beneath my exterior. The plane was getting ready to take off and I dreaded coming back to my hometown. A week ago I graduated from college and I was coming home for good. I hadn't been home in four years. Not even for summer vacations, I wanted to have a full on college experience but I just really wanted to get away from everything. Now I was scared to go back home. It had been four years since I last saw anyone or since anyone has seen me. I wonder if anyone would even recognize me. I have changed so much in four years. I took out my mirror and stared at my reflection. I honestly couldn't see the same Annabel that I was four years ago when I graduated high school. I fingered my long black wavy hair that reached my belly button instead of the light brown hair I used to have. My eyes were gray thanks to my contacts that I ordered last year. But the biggest change was my weight. I no longer weighed 260 pounds, I was now hundred and thirty pounds lighter. My weight loss story was definitely a unique one. I didn't lose it all in month or even a year for that matter. It literally took me four years to lose the weight. With every summer I managed to lose a bit more weight than the year before. It was a rollercoaster experience because there were times that I would take a break for awhile. On holidays, birthdays, or parties, I would overload on food. Eating late at night didn't help me either or munching on donuts after school. Then summer would hit and I'd lose most of the weight I had gained throughout the year plus an additional extra weight. This went on for four years but it was worth it because I finally reached my goal. There weren't many words that could express that feeling. Everything changed last year. Even my wardrobe was different. I looked at the clothes I was wearing. I had on Capri jeans and a loose fitted see through shirt I bought from Forever 21. I remember I used to cry every time I went shopping for clothes but now I get happy. I went through a shopping phase where I went to every store at the mall and bought like five thousand dollars worth of clothes. I closed my eyes and rested. I'd need all the sleep I could get to deal with my homecoming.
2005 The week before my Elementary Graduation
"So Ryan you're going to Boward High School? Isn't that where Annabel's going too? Interesting maybe you'll see her there. I mean it's going to be pretty hard NOT to spot someone that big in the hallway", Bianca my elementary tormentor said to Ryan Goldberg a guy I used to be friends when we were kids. Ryan and I grew up as friends that played around until he stopped talking to me because as the years went on I started gaining weight and getting bullied. As I got bullied more he felt embarrassed to be seen with me and told me he didn't want to be my friend anymore. Eventually he joined the popular group of people that called me hurtful names.
Ryan rolled his eyes as he scanned me. "UGH! Unfortunately. It sucks having to go to school with that greasy fat hippo. I'm bound to run into her fatass there", he said with disgust while standing closely to Bianca.
I could feel the tears trying to form but I didn't cry. I stood there and had to listen to the mean things they were saying about me in front of my classmates while I waited in line for our graduation rehearsals. I've had to put up with many people making fun of me for being fat. I tried to be immune to the names but it still hurt. Yes I couldn't wait to be done with elementary school but now I had High School to go through. It had to be better but I knew it wouldn't.
"THE PLANE IS NOW LANDING. WELCOME TO CHICAGO", the pilot announced. I was ripped from my memory bringing me back to reality. Lately that's been happening a lot. I'll be in class or working out then I get a flashback of my past. I guess I'll never really fully forget those memories. They'll always be in my mind feeling like a scab wound that heals. Yes it still hurts but as long I don't think about my past the less it affects me. I really don't like remembering my past because every time I do, it makes me sad.
I walked over to the luggage area to get my suitcases and on my way I saw my mom. She stood there holding onto her cane feebly, it was my first time seeing her with a cane. She didn't look like the way she did when I left. It looked like she aged dramatically. Her hair was gray and I saw a lot of wrinkles that weren't there before. It saddened me to see my mom this way. I felt guilty that this whole time I was gone my mother stayed behind and by the looks of it, seemed like she's been through tough times. I knew something bad must of happened because my mother's never looked this wasted before and not the stoned wasted but she reminded me of a flower that was withering away. I ran towards my mom and when she saw me I could see the tears start to run through her eyes.
"MOMMY!", I ran and hugged her with a force but not too strong because she felt so tiny in my arms. Despite her weakened state I could feel her gripping me with all her might. I couldn't believe I was able to stay away from my family for four years. I hugged my mother tight and I never wanted to let go again.
"My baby Annabel, you're here", her eyes lit up as she surveyed my body.
"Yes mommy", I cried letting go but still holding her hand. "It's been so long. I'm sorry for having gone. I missed you so much", I said kissing her hand.
"It's a good thing you didn't come to visit us baby because if you had come I don't think I would have let you go back. You needed to do this sweetheart for your education. And you needed to get away from this city, from the mean people but I missed you too ", she said holding my hand as we walked to pick up my bags.
"So where's dad and Tobby (my little brother)?", I asked then I saw her eyes sadden which made my heart beat faster.
She hesitantly looked up at me. "You're father's in the hospital. I don't know how to tell you this daughter but he's been diagnosed with cancer", she choked out.
I felt a knot form inside. "What? For how long mommy? When did this happen?", I said crying. I hated myself for leaving them when it's clear they needed me around. I was so selfish how could I not have known this was happening.
"Annabel your father started feeling sick for a couple of months, so we took him to get scanned. Last month the doctor diagnosed him with liver cancer. I had to get three jobs to pay for the medicine and treatment. But now we're in jeopardy of losing the house because the payment's due in two weeks and I don't have the money. I failed you", my mother sobbed crying against my arms.
This was too much to handle. I didn't expect to hear all this coming home. How could I have been so selfish? I should have been home sooner. My family needed me and I was in college without a care in the world. "No mommy it's my fault if only I had been here", I held on to her.
"It's not your fault baby. This took us all by surprise", she said sadly.
"Where's Toby?", I asked. He was my little brother I hadn't seen him since he was four years old that would make him eight by now.
"He's at home with Sophie", she said as we walked to the parking lot.
"Wait Sophie? What is she doing here I thought she moved to California", I asked. Sophie was my wild cousin. She lived in Texas with my aunt and uncle. She's two years older than me and by what I remember she was planning to move to California to pursue a singing career.
"When your father was in the hospital Aunt Hilda sent Sophie to come help us. She said Sophie needed a job and that in Chicago she could find one. It worked out because Sophie found a job as a singer in a club downtown. She's been so good in helping with Toby", she said as we approached the car.
"That's good mommy. But I'm home now and I'll help out", I promised while putting the luggage in the car.
On the way home I felt saddened yet relieved to be home again. We passed my old High School and I shuddered remembering everything that happened there. Being home was starting to feel overwhelming. This wasn't the arrival I pictured at all. It felt like I was walking into a nightmare. A selfish part of me wanted to go back to the airport and fly back, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. My family needed me here and I would do anything in my power to help them.
"SHIT ANNABEL IS THAT YOU?", Sophie screeched as she turned me around and scanned my new body. I smiled as I saw my cousin, she still looked the same since the last time. Her brown straight hair still reached her shoulders and her small brown eyes still sparkled. The only change was that she looked taller, she stood at 5'10 at least five inches taller than me. She had the body of a swimmer thanks to her fast metabolism, something I've always envied about her. Why couldn't I have inherited fast metabolism? "Honey you look FIERCE", she laughed while touching my stomach. "And look at this, your love handles disappeared like magic", her jaw dropped in amazement.
"Yes that's what an hour of yoga and running every morning can do", I said feeling happy that my cousin noticed my weight loss. She looked happy for me, which made me fee better. Sophie was always my favorite cousin. Even when I was fat she never treated me like I was a fat person. Every time we went to visit her and aunt Hilda she'd take me with her popular friends and we'd all party. She was never ashamed to be seen with me.
"You girls catch up, I'm going to call it a night. It's pretty late anyway", my mom said kissing me on the cheek.
"Ok mommy we'll talk more in the morning", I said hugging her.
"Yes Aunt Mary I promise we won't be too loud. We don't want to wake you and Toby up", Sophie said winking at me.
"Ok girls have fun", my mom said walking to her room.
"Come on Annabel let me help you unpack. I hope you don't mind I've been staying in your room while you were away", she said putting my suitcases on my bed.
"Not at all Soph you're family. Whatever I have is always yours too. Besides I should be on my knees thanking you for helping out my family while I've been away. I don't know how much I can thank you", I told her while taking out my clothes.
"They're my family too. Aunt Mary and Uncle John have been good to me. They let me live here and I have a job doing what I love. Helping out is the least I can do for everything they've done for me. But I'm really sorry for what's happening with Uncle John. He's your dad, I know it's not easy. He's not my dad but I feel sad, I couldn't even imagine how tough it is for you", she said clearing up the closet so I could hang my clothes.
"Soph why didn't you tell me? You knew these bad things were happening. Why didn't you call me sooner? I would have been back at the drop of a hatch", I said facing her.
"That's exactly why I didn't. Your mom begged me not to tell you. She didn't want to worry you. She knew you'd be back when you finished graduating", Sophie said approaching me and rubbed my back.
"I know Soph but I still can't help but feel guilty", I admitted.
"It's normal cousin. I felt a little guilty leaving my home too but I needed to pursue my career just like you needed to finish your education. And it worked out because I got a job. What I'm saying is that you had to do this to move forward in life. You shouldn't feel guilty. Your parents wouldn't want you to feel guilty. We're all so proud that you were able to graduate from college. Something no one in our family has accomplished and most important you lost weight. This journey changed your life in a good way. You should be blessed that you left. By what your mom said it seemed like you were miserable here. People were taunting you viciously. If you had stayed I don't think you would have survived. I mean I've read articles about victims of bullying, most commit suicide. Don't regret your decision. Stand by it", my cousin spoke passionately to me. Those words made me feel better.
"Thanks Soph. How do you always know the right thing to say? I may be the one that graduated from college but you will always till this day remain the wisest woman I know", I hugged Soph.
"Okay Anna we're not having a lifetime moment. We need to get you out of this house tonight and have fun. It's only ten", Sophie said wiping my tears.
"What? I can't. Did you not hear my father is in the hospital. Everything is falling apart and you want us to go out and have fun", I know I sounded like a downer but going out right now didn't feel right.
"I don't mean it that way Anna. I mean you just got here and everyone's asleep and you look like you need to have at least one night of fun before we start the drama tomorrow. Come on lets go, I heard from Becky who heard from the owner of the club I'm working at say that his other club called "The warehouse" is hosting a costume party in an hour. You can wear a disguise, I promise no one will recognize you and we'll only stay for an hour or two", Soph said pouting her lips at me. How could I say no to my nice cousin?
"Fine Soph you win. I suppose it's ok to have at least one last day of fun", I started to dance twirling my cousin to the beat in my head.
"That's right cousin work it", Soph said doing a fast moonwalk.
I had a few costumes that I saved from other occasions but there was one outfit that caught my attention. It was a short white lace tight dress that hugged my body. I wore it with white sparkly heels. It came with a white feathered mask. I don't know exactly what I was suppose to be but it looked nice. I changed into the outfit. Afterwards I curled my long black hair in loose curls. I applied silver glitter over my light pale skin making it glitter. I didn't see the need to put on make-up, I was wearing a mask that hid half my face. The only thing visible were my lips and chin.
"Annabel you look sexy. Guys are totally going to be hitting on you at this club", Soph said looking at my reflection from the mirror.
"That may be true but I don't care about what the boys think of me. As long as I love myself that's all that matters . Anyway I'm not looking for a boyfriend anytime soon. The guys now a days are really shallow. I can't take them serious", I said spraying perfume.
"Annabel you shouldn't be like that. Don't shut yourself off. You might be surprised that there are actual nice guys out in the world. It's hard to find them but they do exist", Soph assured me. I know she cares about me and doesn't want me to end up a bitter person.
"I'm not going to be like that, but I just need some time to adjust to this. I'm still new to the whole "guys noticing me" aspect of my life. Maybe one day I will put myself on the line but it's going to take some time", I said looking at my reflection again. I still couldn't believe the beautiful woman in the mirror was finally me. Back then when I was fat I would look in the mirror and even though my face was fat. If I looked really close I saw that I was pretty but I was just overly fat.
"Annabel what about me should I wear my Tinkerbelle or Snow white costume?", Soph asked holding the two customes.
"Definitely Tinkerbelle all the way", I advised her.
"Yeah I like it better too. Give me five minutes", she said walking into the bathroom.
I wouldn't say it out loud, but I was sort of worried about stepping out into society. What if I ran into someone from high school? I wouldn't know what to do. The first year I was out of high school, I used to be bitter and I wanted so desperately to get revenge on all the people that bullied me. But now I don't think I want to because I feel like it isn't worth it. I accomplished so much that I'm finally content and I don't need to get revenge. They aren't worth it.
"Okay Annabel let's get out of here", she ran towards me with her short green costume. She had her brown hair in a high pony tail and wore green heels.
"Let's go", I said nervously. Even if I did run into anyone, it's not like they'd recognize me. I'm wearing a mask.
As we approached The Warehouse the bouncer asked for our ID'S. The bouncer was a tall blonde guy with huge muscles. He looked at my ID and smiled handing it back.
"So Miss Watson would you save me a dance later?", the cute bouncer asked eying me up and down.
"Aren't you going to be too busy working?", Sophie punched him lightly in a joking manner.
"They give me breaks. Every couple of minutes", the guy said looking at me with the smile still plastered on his cute face.
"Yeah sure they do. Come on Annabel let's get our party on", Soph said grabbing my arm leading me inside. For once I had to thank her. I knew I could count on her to help me.
"Wow there's so many people here", I said looking around. " Lets check out the cool costumes people are wearing", I said looking at the variety of costumes in the club.
"Look there's some dude dressed in a banana suit", Sophie laughed pointing at a guy.
"That's so cute", I laughed with my cousin. We walked towards a couch with a great view of the dance floor. The couch was being occupied by overweight guy with black glasses, he looked unhappy. He didn't even have on a costume on. His gaze was on the floor. "Excuse me sir. Is it okay if my cousin and I sit here?", I asked the guy politely smiling. His eyes shot opened and he nodded his head eagerly.
"Thank you. I'm Annabel Watson by the way and this is my cousin Sophie", I said sitting next to him.
"Hello", she smiled at the guy. "So Annabel I'm going to be on the dance floor, I'll be back in a couple minutes", she said.
"Okay Soph have fun", I smiled. When Soph was gone I turned to face the guy sitting next to me. "So what's your name?", I asked.
"My name's Chris", he said shyly.
"Well Chris are you having fun?", I asked engaging in a conversation with him.
"No. My sister forced me to come here. She and her friends needed a designated driver. I'm the only loser they could find", he said staring at the dance floor.
"You're not a loser. I learned a long time ago that you are what you feel. If inside you feel like a loser than it's going to show outside but if you feel like a winner and have confidence, it will show", I told him.
"What's a beautiful girl like you doing sitting here?", a voice from behind me asked.
I turned and saw a dark thin guy in a cop costume. His eyes were staring down my dress. I could see lust his eyes causing me to feel uncomfortable. I glared at him through my mask. "What's it to you?", I asked him harshly.
"Ooo you're a feisty one. I like that. Why don't you ditch that at fat geek guy your with and I'll take you on the dance floor?", he asked with arrogance.
What a jerk. I honestly wanted to slap him. "No thank you. I already have a dance partner", I turned and faced Chris. "Chris would you like to dance with me?", I asked him.
Chris nodded his head and smiled. I smiled back. I found his smile heart warming. I stood up and held his hand bringing him close as we passed the cop. We got to the dance floor and found my cousin dancing with a couple of girls. We approached them and danced around them. It felt so good dancing. Then the DJ played "Low", by Flo Rida
"DAMN THIS IS MY SONG", I said and began doing the booty pop against Chris. Chris just stood there not knowing what to do. "Come on Chris shake it", I said grabbing his hips making him move.
"Okay", he said shyly moving.
"Not like that", Sophie said. "Here dance with me I'll show you how to really shake it", my cousin said flirtatiously pulling Chris towards her.
I closed my eyes and got into the song. I danced with myself and swayed my hips flipping my hair from side to side. I might have looked like a dork but I didn't care, I was having fun. It wasn't until I felt someone lightly tap me from behind.
"Would you like to dance?", I heard a familiar deep voice from behind. As I slowly turned around I nearly passed out from fear. I saw the very man I hoped I'd never see again. The man of my nightmares and past. The man who made my life miserable in both elementary and high school. It was… Ryan.
I still can't believe I'm doing a third story. When I first started this account in the summer I didn't expect to get addicted to writing. But it's true I have so much fun writing. Even though sometimes I slip and you'll catch a few grammar errors. I'm still working on proofreading my chapters but I get anxious sometimes and want to post it right away. This is my first 1st person point of view story and I have to say some of the bullying events in the story are based on true things. There are cruel people out there and to anyone reading this that's been a victim of bullying whether it'd be for the way you look, dress, act, or believe in, I just want to say you're not alone. I'm sure everyone's been a victim of bullying. Bullying is never okay because a person's feelings are being hurt. "They say sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you"- I don't know who came up with that but it's not true. Even though Annabel's past won't be mentioned a lot because I plan on focusing on her present situation. I just wanted you to see a portion of the terrible things Annabel went through to show what a strong character she is.
This is a song I wrote when I was twelve years old- I just wanted to share it with you. I wrote in one day after day camp. I ended up having a major crush on Peter one of the camp counselors. He was twenty- three years old and he was friendly towards me. If I passed him he would make a conversation with me. Then one day I approached him while he was talking to a camp counselor girl his age. When I said hi to him, he dismissed me and told me I had to go back with my camp leader. That I wasn't allowed to be there. I was a young kid and it broke my heart. When I got home I wrote this song so here it is. This is my first time ever telling anyone this story and sharing this song:
Your eyes sparkled in the light
Your lips looked so magical
Your hair flew lightly in the air
I liked you
I had feelings for you
But now I realized
That you, you mean jerk
You talked to me as if I were dirt
And now I've come to know
That you're not worth it
You're not worth it
You're not worth it
You're not worth it
Your eyes sparkled in the light
Your lips looked so magical
Your hair flew lightly in the air
I liked you
I had feelings for you
But now I realized
That you, you mean jerk
You talked to me as if I were dirt
And now I've come to know
That you're not worth it
You're not worth it
You're not worth it
You're not worth it
Worth iiiiitttt
There is one song that I loved in High School. I know this has nothing to do with the story but I love the message of this song.
Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your hometown
I need some shelter of my own protection, baby
To be with myself and center
Clarity, Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this had nothing to do with you
It's personal , myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm not gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone.
I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead, if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this had nothing to do with you
It's personal , myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm not gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
Like the little school mate in the yard
We'll be playing jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers
And share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself, and center
Clarity, Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this had nothing to do with you
It's personal , myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm not gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry