I was never the strong girl
you've always thought I was-
I break down very easily,
crying at the thought of her leaving me.
I lose my smile at the sight
of blood, of horrible things.
I couldn't sleep at night
hearing about dangerous things,
knifes, guns, wars:
Why wasn't there peace?
deep down, I'm only
a timid little girl waiting to be saved,
I never was strong.
yes, in front of others, I am strong,
I'm always helping others,
always the strong words.
When I'm alone, or with her,
I tend to speak what my mind:
What I'm afraid of,
what I hate and don't want;
there are many, many things.
I need someone to understand
or just listen to my terrified heart,
I know you'll just block out whatever I'll say
because it's not the end of the year yet.
Maybe, just maybe,
I'll find someone who will listen to me
and my fears.
Maybe that someone will help me face them
so that I won't cry to myself every quiet night
or scream deep down in my heart in silence.
She was always there for me,
just her words and presence was enough.
She needn't do anything for me.
a simple glance makes me happy, strong
only for a short time period.
I don't know how I'd survive next year
without even seeing you. I'd really
miss you so very much-
because, tell me how will I stop
missing you when right now,
I'm already missing you?
when I've seen you today, will see you tomorrow
and the day after,
but these are the last 3 days that I'll be seeing you?
Reaching a hand out to the red sunset,
I made a heart shape with only one hand:
"you'll be the one to complete this heart,
you'll be the only one."