Runaway

During the past few weeks, weeks after we came back from such an amazing holiday. There have been huge problems we've been going through as a family, sometimes by myself.

I realized one problem and I thought everything makes sense because of it. But now I think of it, I was actually wrong. First,

I try to tell it to a group of close friends, yet I couldn't find the words to explain it to them. You see, I have an urge to please people. When I tell them my problems, I feel like I'm making them sad as well by adding myself to their priority list when I shouldn't.

Then they advise me to tell the people I suppose to share me with. So I did, but they were not even pleased that I was being really honest.

Then it becomes worse by coming back to the 'awkward silence'. I'm quite glad that we haven't thought about that other issue in such a long while like it hasn't happened in such a long while. But this is another problem that starts to enter in our lives that's really heartbreaking for me.

I thought that's it but no, another one comes rushing in. I don't even know how to explain this one. You know what, I'm not even going to explain it.

I just want to run away but I can't because I remember a line from a close friend told me.

"Don't run away from your problems, solve it first or else you'll just keep coming back to it!"

No matter how true this line is, I have no idea how to solve any of these. Sometimes, when it's just too much for me to handle I feel like there's no solution at all.

I feel so envious for the little kids now because whenever I see them while I'm in the car or walking. I see them running around and go on the slides and even when they fall onto the ground and hurt themselves. They get back up quickly and continue running like nothing happened. They don't have many things to handle, not like me. They have lesser pain to handle..