If I had to choose between being the

birth giver or the grave digger I would

choose the latter.

Not because I cannot imagine the miracle

but because I cannot stand the brevity

of the moments where new life breaths

clean hospital air and cries for the first.

No, I cannot stand waiting

a lifetime- can you fathom it?

I hesitate to dip my toes into the shallow pool of life


To feel the cool waters (((ripple outward)))

Touching everything around me

To feel the ripples of ))) lovers and friends(((

To be truly alive

Only to fade into the void?

No- let me be there only at the end-with flowers

I will caress your headstone with dirt caked fingers

and we will be closer than the dirt and the rain.

Our greetings are fleeting,

but our goodbye is forever

and there lies the real miracle of life.

~Cassandra Freiborg