A/N: This is probably a surprise for all of you, because it sure is a surprise for me. This wasn't meant to be in existence until about two and a half months ago when I was digging beneath my bed in search of things I might've needed for college. After finding the usual things one finds under their bed (such as the occasional dead body), I found this gem; the original chapter two of "I'm in Love With a Professional Heartbreaker: How Adam Met Eve".
Now, you may be wondering "What the heck, AG91? How can you possibly forget that you wrote this? Is it even possible for a writer to forget that they wrote entire chapters of stories?" Well, apparently…yes it is. I'm living proof of that. But I was so amused when I read this that I had to post it for you guys.
The weird thing about the following chapter you're about to read is that it's the original chapter two of the story. I found it in a notebook smack in the middle of all my other notebooks kept in a huge bin beneath my bed, and it was filled with ideas and such…but a fully-written chapter one was nowhere to be found. That being said, I have no idea if my original idea for chapter one is the chapter that appears on this website or if chapter one was something entirely different that I wrote and placed in another location. Or, you know…never wrote at all. After all, I hand-wrote chapter six for "Forgive Me Before You Go" before any other chapter of that story. But judging by how this chapter is executed (and, specifically, how it ends), I'm going to guess that chapter one was meant to be a little different as well.
Also, as another (kind of final) thing to think about, if the Parkers were introduced in chapter two of my original story, that means that chapters two through five of the story that appears on this website either didn't happen in what was my original idea or happened later on in the story. Interesting, isn't it?
Finally, I do want to give a shout-outto natalie95, randomrandomnesselfsandfun1, AwesomeKat96, JennyferLee, MadamHook, Lnorall and RhiannonJade for adding my story and/or me to their favorites lists along with a few shout-outs for some reviews I got for the original "I'm in Love With a Professional Heartbreaker". :]
Just Me: I'm sorry for making water come out your nose! I seem to have that effect on people. And it's cool meeting another MCR fan. I make a lot of MCR references in my stories, so I like when people can catch them. Thanks for the compliments and I hope you enjoy(ed) the rest of the story!
Monster Nightmare: That creepy person shows up a lot in the story, so you'll get more hints as to who it is as the story progresses. I'm guessing that you'll read this shout-out once you finished the story, so if that's the case, I hope you liked the story! Thanks for adding my story to your favorites list! :]
Toni1122: Sorry for making you cry! A lot of people told me that they cried during this, which really surprised me. I cried while writing the majority of the ending (partially because I'm a softy and partially because I hurt a lot of the characters I liked), but I didn't cry when I killed Courtney. I didn't think anyone would care if Courtney died, but apparently she had a few fans that I didn't know existed! I cried a lot (and I mean a lot) harder when I wrote "Forgive Me Before You Go", mostly because I liked the villain of that story and was a lot more connected to the characters. Thanks for all the compliments! You make me feel loved! xD As for Sean, his humor is pretty much based on mine, but he as a person isn't based on anyone I know. There was a guy I knew in my first semester freshman college composition class who looked just like him, though, lip ring and all! Thanks for adding both me and both my stories to your favorites lists! I really appreciate it! :D
Okay, so here's the hidden bonus chapter! Oh, and by the way, your favorite buddy Sean has a little tweak to his name. I decided to keep it that way just to see how you guys would take it. So, let's go!
Chapter 2: A Snowy Situation
I hate snow.
I honestly don't understand the logic of those people who love it. Where was the fun in standing outside throwing piles of frozen water at each other until you lost the ability to move your fingers and toes? And then you lost the feeling in your face and smiling brought back those lovely memories of the times when you had orthodontist appointments to get your braces tightened. If you ever had braces, you know how painful smiling was after getting your braces tightened, especially if you had a satanic orthodontist named Dr. Payne like I did.
Speaking of pain, nothing was more painful than being stuck in a car with your obnoxious identical twin brother for over four hours like I was currently lucky enough to be experiencing. One would think it would be more interesting having a sibling your age to talk to on a long car ride to pass the time, but with a sibling like Shawn…it wasn't. It was annoying. Really…really…annoying. We were 18 years old, but talking to Shawn (especially when he was bored) was like talking to a 5-year-old with that whole "ARE WE THERE YET?" complex.
"Are we there yet?"
Steve looked at us using the rearview mirror. "Shawn, you just asked me that question two minutes ago. Yes! We have about 15 minutes left!"
"I'm going 10 miles over the speed limit!"
"Drive even faster!"
"Do you want me to get pulled over?"
I looked out of my window and sighed in annoyance, my breath fogging the window to the point where I couldn't see my reflection. I used the sleeve of my black hoodie to clear my window off so I could see myself, blocking out my brother's pointless fight with my uncle.
I had long black hair that currently hung in my face. I hated when it did that. Shawn was always the one who liked having his hair hanging all over the place. I pushed my hair away from my face so I could see myself better. I had light blue eyes, which I always liked because it was such a unique combination. Of course…it wasn't really that unique when you lived with someone who looked exactly like you. At least Shawn and I had one thing that separated us physically; my left eyebrow was pierced, while Shawn had snake bites. I really had no idea why he chose such an in-your-face piercing (no pun intended). I would never want two hoops sticking out of my lower lip like that. But he liked it, so I guess that was what mattered. I was perfectly content with the small piercing I had. And I imagined that kissing Shawn would be somewhat awkward with those rings in the way. It would be like kissing a key ring. …Not that I ever imagined kissing my brother…
"Oh, would you two knock it off? You're like little kids!" Steve's girlfriend, Kristi, chimed in. She sounded annoyed. Heh…what else was new?
Shawn sneered, but I don't think Steve or Kristi caught it. "I don't have to listen to you! You aren't my mom!" he said, crossing his arms and kicking his legs up, intentionally hitting the back of Steve's seat with his knees.
I caught a short glimpse of Steve's annoyed glare via the rearview mirror, but it only lasted a second before he responded. "No, but we're your legal guardians, so you better listen to us unless you want to be thrown out of this car and into the nearest snow pile."
"Nooo, you're my legal guardian. Kristi's just your bitch!" Shawn replied icily.
"Shawn," I said warningly. Shawn seemed to forget that, even though Steve wasn't our father, he still had custody of us and could punish us just like a father could if he wanted to. And he did because he hated our guts.
No, Steve really did hate us. I wasn't being bitter. He was our dad's brother, but our dad died when we were three and our mother…well…she just wasn't in the picture. We didn't like to talk about it. But Steve had custody of us, and he was pretty much the world's biggest asshole. We were in the process of moving (if you didn't figure that out by now), but we were accustomed to that because we moved all the time. That was just how life was when you were a Parker like I was.
"No Adam, you can't tell me what to say or do, either. I'm the older twin," Shawn reminded me. He just loved to hold that over my head.
"I don't care how old you are, you don't talk about me like that," Kristi snapped.
"What're you gonna do, put me in time out? Pull the car over and spank me? Take away my favorite stuffed animal?" Shawn listed sarcastically.
Kristi's sneer deepened, making her look twice as old as she already looked; and trust me, that wasn't a compliment in any way, shape or form. She kind of looked like the mother from the movie "Matilda". She had curly blond hair that sat on the top of her head and she usually wore a bandana to go with it. She also wore so much make-up it put a clown to shame. The sad thing was, if she would go with just a little less make-up and get rid of the beehive look, she would actually look her age (which is a surprisingly young 40) instead of her appearance, which was in the range of 55 to 60. Steve was 43, so there wasn't that huge of an age gap between them.
A sudden groan from under my propped-up knees stopped Shawn's conversation with Steve's grandma-of-a-girlfriend. I shifted one of my legs and smiled down at Jackie, our 5-year-old Black Lab. She was technically Kristi's dog, but she was our dog as long as she was dating Steve.
Jackie yawned again before she looked up at me and let her tongue roll out of her mouth in her usual lazy manner. By the looks of it, she just woke up from her nap. And now that she was awake, I didn't mind letting my legs slide down the back of Kristi's seat and rest on her back. They were starting to get sore from being in the same position for so long.
"Did you ask Jackie for her permission to use her as a foot rest?"
"Hey, it's common courtesy. I wouldn't be too happy if you decided to rest your legs on my back while I was taking a nap!"
I glared at him, and he returned my glare with his infamous smart-ass smirk. I hated when he smirked like that. His lips rings would shift to the opposite sides of his mouth and it seriously would remind me of a snake's fangs.
"Shawn, would you do all of us a favor and shut-up? We'll be there in five minutes," Steve said calmly.
Five minutes? All this fighting ate up ten minutes? I wasn't sure if that was amusing or just plain sad.
To my complete surprise, Shawn actually did shut up. And I wasn't going to complain about that.
The next few minutes passed painlessly, but my peace bubble eventually had to be popped. And who better to pop it than my annoying twin. What a surprise.
"Are we there yet?"
"Ugh! I…you know what, Shawn? Yes! We're here! Are you happy now?"
"I'll never be happy, Kristi. I'll never be happy."
"That's apparent, you ungrateful little troll."
"It takes one to know one."
The car stopping and the sound of Steve's slamming car door brought me completely back to reality. I followed suit, and I was followed by Shawn, Kristi and Jackie. Jackie's mad dash for the highway made me remember that she wasn't attached to her leash, but luckily Kristi was accustomed to her dog's crazy attempts at freedom and caught her before she could get past the car. (But seriously, who could blame Jackie for wanting to run away so often? I wanted to run away from Kristi and Steve, too!)
"Hey Adam, do you mind attaching my dog's leash to her collar before setting her free from the car next time?" Kristi snapped at me before leading Jackie towards our new house.
"Only if Steve attaches his bitch to her leash first," I mumbled once she was out of earshot.
I heard an amused snort from behind me, so I spun to face Shawn. "Nice one, bro. But you seriously need to grow a set and say those things to her face. It'll never be truly satisfying until you can see her reactions!"
I smiled, knowing he was right but not stupid enough to tell him that. "Yeah, well…they already hate me enough. Why give them a reason to hate me more?" I said, pulling my hoodie closer to my body in an attempt to block out the cold air blowing around me.
Shawn's smile faltered. "Dude, you need to get over what happened. That was, what, almost two years ago? Move on! What's-her-face probably doesn't even remember your name! Steve and Kristi forgave you for it anyway, so they don't hate you as much as you think they do."
"Shawn, you know what her name is. Don't play stupid. And they still hate us. I'm pretty sure Kristi wants you dead."
Shawn laughed. "The feeling's mutual. But seriously, you need to get over it. You're too…what's the word?" He paused, but whether that was for dramatic effect or because he was truly trying to find a specific word, I wasn't sure.
"Emotional? Wimpy? Gay?" I listed, figuring I knew Shawn well enough to finish his thought.
Shawn blinked in confusion. "Uh…I was thinking considerate of other peoples' feelings, but…I guess emotional works, too. Were you implying something with that last thing?"
We both went silent for a few seconds before bursting into spontaneous laughter. We tended to do that. It was a twin thing that I never seemed to get tired of.
"You know me," I said sarcastically.
"Yeah, and I'd like to know our new neighbors!"
I didn't realize that I had been ignoring practically everything around me until Shawn brought my attention to the house next door. There was a good 50 feet between our houses, but that didn't stop me from noticing how dramatically small our house was compared to theirs. The simple fact that their house was three stories high with three expensive-looking cars parked in their open garage and driveway was enough to make me feel threatened.
"Who do you think lives there?" I asked.
"If I knew who lived there, I wouldn't have said that I wanted to meet them."
I looked at Shawn and raised my eyebrows. "You're a smart-ass. You know that, right?"
Shawn's mouth dropped open dramatically. "Me? Not at all! What would possibly make you say that?"
"Are you two planning on coming inside, or are you in a competition to see who will freeze to death first?"
Shawn and I turned to look at Kristi. She was standing inside the garage with her arms crossed across her chest, glaring at us like she was contemplating throwing a tire iron at us.
"You know how much we love a good challenge. You're welcome to join us to see who'll freeze first. Considering you have the most body fat, chances are you'll die last!" I yelled cheerfully.
Shawn burst out laughing, but I was surprised when Kristi didn't have any noticeable reaction. Aside from her normal "I-hate-you-go-die" glare (which was the facial expression she always had plastered on her face), she didn't do anything. She just turned around and walked through the door that attached the garage to the breezeway. Our relationship was just getting better and better!
"Now that is what I'm talking about!" Shawn said, punching me playfully. I cringed, trying to ignore the fact that he just punched a newly-formed bruise on my shoulder.
Well, apparently I didn't do a very good job hiding that cringe. "Are you okay?" Shawn asked.
"You just looked at me like I nailed you in the face instead of the shoulder. Did I seriously punch you that hard?"
I didn't want to tell him where I got that bruise. He already had ideas as to where I got it from previous episodes, so I didn't want him to get even more suspicious.
"You don't know your own strength," I said jokingly.
He raised one of his eyebrows. "Yeah, uh-huh. I don't have to be your twin to know that that's the biggest bullshit lie you've told me in the past week."
"Actually, telling you that I was lucky to be related to you comes pretty close to being the biggest lie I've told you all week."
Shawn opened his mouth to respond, but that awkward feeling you get when you realize someone is watching you stopped him from saying anything. We both turned towards our neighbor's house and saw a young girl with reddish-blond hair staring curiously at us. How long had she been standing there?
"Dude, I think we're being watched," Shawn whispered to me.
"…You're really stupid sometimes."
Snow just started to fall, making me shiver. I really wanted to go inside, so I turned towards the house. I'd figure out who that creepy kid was later. After all, we lived next door to her family. That is…if she even lived in that house. She could've been some creeper who wandered yard to yard for no reason.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Shawn snapped, grabbing my wrist.
"Ow! Going inside!" I snapped back.
"No you're not! It sounds like our neighbors are coming outside. Let's say hi!"
The snow was falling faster now and I huffed in annoyance. I hated Shawn. I hated to love him, too.
But I gave him credit on the creeper scale. He knew the family was leaving their house. Soon an older woman left the house behind the little girl, yelling her name and telling her to head for their car.
"Chastity! Get in the car! We're going to be late!" the woman yelled as she slid her gloves on.
Shawn held back a laugh. "Chastity," he mumbled. "That's terrible!"
"Because I'm sure Shawn is so much better."
Another girl, this one around our age with dark brown hair long enough to reach her waist, left the house behind the woman. She was dressed like she didn't notice the weather. While I was in a hoodie and jeans, I didn't think I would be brave enough to walk outside wearing a tight t-shirt and jeans. At least she had a beanie on her head to cover her ears.
"DawnMarie, I told you to dress in something warmer," the woman (who I was guessing was her mother) snapped.
DawnMarie? What was it with this family and strange names?
"I was too busy trying to get your other daughter to get her ass out of bed that I didn't even think about grabbing a coat," the girl now known as DawnMarie said simply.
"You know how Maria feels about cursing," a guy in a wheelchair added in as he slid down the ramp that led to their front door. Wow. I didn't expect that. He had brown hair that hung over his shoulders and thin-rimmed glasses.
Okay, so the knowledge I gained from this family so far was:
1. The family had three daughters, but no sons that I knew of so far.
2. Two of the daughters had strange names.
3. They apparently called their parents by their first names.
4. The father was in a wheelchair and the mother was over-controlling and scary.
I wondered where the other daughter was. I expected her to be as weird as the other two.
Well…I was wrong. I heard Shawn whistle next to me as the family's third daughter left the house and walked down their driveway to join them by their blue van.
She had long black hair with dark blue highlights that reached her elbows. She was wearing torn black jeans, a burgundy sweater and a scarf to match her outfit. Unlike her sister, she wasn't wearing anything on her head except for a headband.
I didn't realize my mouth was hanging open until I felt Shawn tap my lower jaw. I blinked a few times and stood up straighter, glad that the girl didn't look over at me. That would've been embarrassing if she saw identical twins watching her, one with a smirk on his face and the other with his mouth hanging open.
"That was attractive," Shawn said, obviously trying not to laugh.
I didn't respond, mainly because the girl's parents started to talk to her. I was hoping to hear her name.
"Nice of you to join us!" her mother said sarcastically.
The girl smiled, pushing some loose strands of hair out of her face. "Sorry, but I didn't have this wonderful shopping trip penciled in my schedule today. I wouldn't have slept in if I did!"
DawnMarie snorted in amusement. "Oh yeah? What did you have 'penciled in your schedule' today? I'm sure it was nothing interesting."
The prettier girl (no offense to DawnMarie) scowled at her. "Nothing on my list involved you, so you don't have to worry about it."
"DM, Eve, knock it off," their mother said threateningly.
…Eve? Seriously? Out of every name on the face of the planet, this girl was named Eve? I was hoping that the reference passed over Shawn's head, but of course, it didn't.
Shawn burst out into hysterical laughter; laughter that was apparently loud enough for the family to hear, because the entire family turned their attention onto us. Great.
If you had ever been stared down by five people, you know how awkward it felt. If you were ever stared down while standing next to your identical twin, you know it felt twice as awkward. I was trying to avoid making eye contact with any member of this family for more than three seconds, which was easier said than done. I was specifically trying to avoid eye contact with Eve.
But just because I was trying to avoid them didn't mean Shawn was. I jumped when I felt Shawn snake his arm around my shoulders and pull me against him. This was going to end tragically…
"Hi!" he yelled, waving at them using the hand that wasn't hanging on one of my shoulders. "We're your new neighbors! I'm Shawn and this," he swung his hand down and forcibly smacked me in the chest, "is my brother, Adam!"
I cringed, half due to his hit to my chest and half due to his embarrassing introduction. I was surprised when one of our neighbors responded.
"Hello! I'm Maria," the mother said cheerfully. "This is my husband, Lance, and our children-"
"Oh yeah, we caught that!" Shawn cut in cheerfully. "Cute kids you got there! Chastity looks just like you!"
Maria smiled. Apparently what I thought was creepy she thought was flattering. DawnMarie and Eve exchanged confused looks behind their mother's back as she continued to talk to my brother. "Thank you! I see you two bear an uncanny resemblance as well."
Shawn and I made eye contact, and I knew he was about to say something sarcastic. "Really? Everyone points that out, but I can't see it!" he said. He attempted to sound serious, but he was failing miserably. …Just like he usually did when he was trying to be serious.
Four of the five family members laughed. DawnMarie rolled her eyes and said something to Eve that was inaudible to me. Eve ignored her sister's remark just in time for Shawn to make another one of his comments. Only this time, I didn't find his comment funny. The second he looked at Eve, I knew things were going to get awkward.
"You know, it's ironic; the Adam and Eve thing. Judging by the way Adam was looking at you earlier, I think he's already interested in you. Who knows? Maybe he'll man up and ask you on a date!"
I was pretty sure my face heated up enough to melt all the snow that was hanging in my hair. It probably could've melted the snow within a five foot radius of my body. The entire family was staring at me in surprise and I had no idea what to say to defend myself. It was most likely because Shawn was pretty much right in everything he just said. But agreeing with him would make me look like a creep, so I couldn't say that.
So to defend my pride, I pushed his arm off my shoulders and forced a smile on my face. "Well, uh…it was nice meeting you! I need to help my uncle move the rest of our stuff into our new house. I'm sure I'll see you guys around since you live next door so I'll uh…talk to you later! And it looks like you're busy too, so…yeah. Bye!"
I spun around way faster than I intended to and staggered on a small patch of ice that was hidden in the snow next to me. Luckily I didn't fall on my ass, but the fact that I flailed my arms around like a drowning cat was enough to embarrass me.
Once I regained my composure, I walked for the house as fast as possible before anyone could say anything else to me. I heard Shawn say a friendly good-bye to the confused family before he followed me. Once it was just us where nobody could see us or hear Shawn screaming…I was going to kill him.
I walked into the garage and up to the door leading into the breezeway. Once Shawn reached me, I spun around and had to stop myself from punching him.
"Why did you do that?" I snapped, shoving his shoulder angrily.
He laughed, rubbing his shoulder half-mindedly. "Relax! I was just joking!"
"Just joking? That wasn't a joke! They're going to take you seriously! And now Eve's going to think I'm creepy. They're all going to think I'm creepy!"
"Well…you are pretty creepy…"
My glare was enough to wipe the smirk off his face. "Shawn, I'm serious. That wasn't funny. Even if I did think she was cute-"
"You did think she was cute. Face it dude; I know you better than you know yourself. And, uh…I'm pretty sure everyone would be able to tell you thought she was hot just by the way you looked at her. Seriously, you looked like you wanted to jump her."
"…Was it really that obvious?"
"Uh, yeah. You kinda looked like this." Shawn's mouth dropped open and he raised one eyebrow (the eyebrow that, on my face, was my pierced one) and opened his other eye as far as possible. He kind of looked like a stoner after getting shot in the foot.
"I did not look like that."
Shawn smiled. "Yes you did. It was hilarious. It reminds me of your 10th grade school picture, actually. You remember what that looks like, don't you?"
I didn't even bother glaring at him now. I spun around and grabbed the door handle, figuring that I really would help Steve with the moving process. Some time away from Shawn would be a good idea right now.
I turned the handle and frowned. The door wouldn't budge. I tried again, but my second attempt was just as successful as my first one. Either the door was stuck or someone locked it.
…Wait a second.
I turned slightly to look at Shawn. "Kristi," I said slowly.
"What about her?"
"…I think she locked us out."
We both paused for a good minute, letting the sad truth sink in. I shouldn't have made that comment about the freezing competition. I should've known by now that she always took sarcasm literally.
"So…what now?" I said as casually as I could.
Shawn looked me, sighed and flashed me a lopsided smile. "Looks like it's time to scale the house!"
A/N: So, that was the original second chapter of Heartbreaker! The things that changed were obviously:
2.) "Shawn" instead of "Sean"
3.) Sean having snake bites instead of one piercing
4.) Jackie, their dog
5.) The twins didn't have the red tint in their hair.
6.) Eve didn't just have dyed bangs; she had blue highlights throughout her hair.
7.) The Parkers lived next door to the Mayfields.
And some things I found in the bits of this very first outline were:
1.) Sean died (obviously) and Jack snapped Steve's neck and killed him.
2.) Sean died and Adam shot and killed Steve (two different versions of Steve's death were considered).
3.) Kristi never died in either version of the ending, but Jackie attacked her when she tried to hurt the twins.
4.) The guy Kristi seduced throughout the story, while not important in his own right like Lance was, had an annoying daughter who wouldn't leave Sean alone. Her name was undecided in the outline and just had a question mark filled in for the spots where I mentioned her. Sean was so annoyed by her and too involved with Eve that he ignored her, which annoyed Steve and Kristi.
5.) Garrett and Joey were nowhere to be found on the character list.
6.) DawnMarie was never liked at any point, nor was she a part of the end "battle". Same goes for Courtney, who was known as Rebecca at the time.
7.) Chelsea died? Why'd I do that? I didn't even explain it! I just kind of have it written like I contemplated it but never actually decided on if I wanted to do it or not. I don't even remember that thought crossing my mind during this thinking/writing process.
8.) Due to the Parkers' dog being named Jackie, I was considering naming Eve's dad Johnny to avoid confusion. Cole didn't have an older brother, so there wasn't a character in the story named Johnny at that point.
And, of course, as the story goes on I explain that DM and Eve are step-sisters as well as the whole back story to the conning thing. Like I said earlier, considering how this chapter is set up, I can't help but wonder if I intended to write chapter one the way it was written in the actual story, with Eve slipping on the ice and all. I don't think so, considering Adam didn't seem to know Eve when they saw each other across their lawns. But who liked how both chapters started with the same line? I think that stayed the same at least.
But anyway, there you go! I hope you enjoyed the random bonus chapter! :] Now I'll continue "How to Catch a Killer" and hopefully finish it before I turn 30! Thanks for reading!