WARNING: The following story can be interpreted as offensive. Consider yourself warned.

The following characters and scenarios belong to ME. No touchies!


~Starring: Nan and Yoshi~

Fifth grader Joanna "Nan" Oliver was lying on a grassy hilltop with her best friend, Martha "Yoshi" Yoshida. It was a classic day with sunshine, azure skies, puffy clouds, and all of that other crap.

"Hey, Nan," said Yoshi. "Check it out: found a shamrock." She offered a rare four-leaf clover to her best friend, who promptly ate it. Yoshi gaped in horror.

"Why does everyone think that I'm obsessed with four-leafed clovers and leprechauns?" asked Nan. "You know, there are a lot of stereotypes about Irish-Americans."


"Well, Irish people don't wear green and gold all the time. Actually, their jewelry is traditionally silver," said Nan. "And the other kids rub me for good luck in P.E. What's that all about?"

"I don't rub you for good luck," Yoshi pointed out.

"Yeah, but that's because you'll fail in every single physical trial no matter what," said Nan. She continued her rant on stereotypes: "I don't eat an excessive amount of potatoes. I eat a moderate amount of potatoes, thank you very much. And people keep on yelling, 'DONKEY!' at me in a Shrek-accent. Shrek has a freaking Scottish accent!"

"Well, it's not easy being a Japanese-American, either," said Yoshi. "People think that we read manga all day and wear revealing school uniforms. Ha! We do homework, graduate high school, get married, and then serve our husbands' families for the rest of our miserably lengthy lives."

"Damn," swore Nan. "I guess living in Japan isn't very fun."

"Why the hell do you think my family came to this country?" asked Yoshi. "There are other misconceptions, too," she added. "A lot of guys think that Japanese people are small, bitter islanders who love karaoke and eat rice everyday."

Nan sat up and stared at her friend. "But you are a small, bitter islander who loves karaoke and eats rice everyday."

Yoshi scowled. "That is not the point, Nan."

22 October, 2011 by Umbra in Machina.