This is my first update in a while. Enjoy!

Activision owns the Call of Duty franchise.

~COD: MW3~

~Starring: Nan, Yoshi, and Matthew~

"Violence is not the answer. But it is a fun alternative."


Fifth grader Nan Oliver invited her best friend and next-door neighbor, Martha "Yoshi" Yoshida, into her house.

"Hey, Yoshi," said Nan, an amused smile playing on her lips, "I want to show you something hilarious."

Taking Yoshi by the arm, she led her through the sitting room, up the stairs, down the hallway and to Matthew's bedroom. Nan carelessly swung the door open.

Matthew didn't mind the intrusion of privacy the slightest bit. Yoshi saw that he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at a small television screen with bloodshot eyes. A tongue was hanging out of his foaming mouth as his fingers twitched manically across an Xbox control.

"Oh. My. Frick," said Yoshi. "What happened to him?"

"Matthew got the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 game for Xbox. In the past four hours, it's made his testosterone skyrocket by about three hundred percent." Nan folded her arms and leaned against the doorframe. "That game changes you."

"FUCKING RUSSIAN BITCHES!" Matthew suddenly screamed at the television, his voice at least nine octaves deeper than it usually was. His expression changed from rage to wrathful pleasure. "I see… SO THAT'S HOW YOU WANNA PLAY? WELL THEN TASTE MY BULLETS, YOU ULTRANATIONALIST BASTARDS! YEA, BOY!"

He began to cackle hysterically. Nan and Yoshi slowly back out of the room, closing the door behind them gently.

"…Was that stubble on his chin?" Yoshi asked after a few moments of stunned silence.

21 November, 2011 by Umbra in Machina