I wasn't happy with TMIYOH, so I decided it needed a change. It changed into something even I wasn't quite prepared for when I read through it about three quarters in :/ !Sorry for all the mistakes you'll find, really, I am SO sorry!

WARNING; I'm not lying when I say that I've changed it. Oh, and swearing. And kisses.

*sighs like the old man I really secretly am -perv wink- * ... Wish me luck... ...

Julian Stanton was, and still is, a Bastard.

I sighed as I thought about Julian Stanton, my supposed ex-boyfriend. The topic made me slightly depressed, so usually tried not to think about it- him, but it was always an effort wasted. He was constantly on my mind, despite not actually being with me anymore. Not that anyone had ever known about us though; no. No one had known, except for my best friend and that was because I had told her about my insane crush from the start and had kept her updated about the progress we made.

Jules was like the Bruce Wayne of New-York, with the exception of the deceased parents. He had money, charm, money, good looks and a secret only a select few knew. In this case his secret was me; the lowly secretary whom he was 'In love with'. And me, being that stupid secretary, was madly in love with him too. But ah, the plot thickens- see, that secretary was getting a backbone. She had decided enough was enough.

The realisation hadn't been gradual either; it had bitch slapped me over the face and called me a whore. And it had been while I was talking to him too...

"And here are the papers D&V faxed over." I presented the folder to him and then with a glance behind me continued, "So, we still on tonight, or what?" I asked boldly. I knew I was breaking the number one rule; no contact at work, but I didn't care. I had forgotten my phone at home today and since I wasn't going there until six I wanted to get facts straight.

A large frown marred his smooth features "I'm not sure what you are talking about, Ms Drage." He answered, looking up at me menacingly. I flinched slightly, but plowed on.

"You're cooking tonight," I reminded him with a slight roll of my eyes at his attitude.

"Control yourself," he answered as he stared at me unblinkingly. I held his gaze unflinchingly. That's about when realisation came over and hit me. No one was even around and he still didn't want to acknowledge that we had sex out of office hours.

He'd never want what I wanted, I finally realised with a firm blink of my suddenly rounded eyes. I wanted love and honestly and children. Lord knows I wasn't getting any younger, I mean, my biological clock was ticking.

I stared hard at his handsome face, waiting for him to smile at me, or for his eyes to soften. They didn't. I nodded once and with one last, sad smile left his office. I went straight to my desk, grabbed my bag and left the building.

It had taken me a whole month to finally get out of the funk Jules had left me in. Or I had left myself in really. I didn't think I had it in me, but I had been in a funk for a whole month. At the end I had felt like Bella fucking Swan, or whatever her name was and had quickly got myself a job at a photography firm. I was happy; I was finally in New York doing what I had come to do in the first place. After a month of settling into my job I moved from my small apartment into a two bedroom Studio apartment that let me work from home when I needed. At the time I thought I was a genius.

I decided in this moment that I was wrong -that idea was one of the worst ones I had ever had.

"Hello," I squeaked, seeing Julian Stanton at my door for the first time in five months. He was immaculate looking; high cheek bones, defined body, dark blue eyes, silky light brown hair and the softest looking lips I had ever touched. I cleared my throat and grabbed my lady-balls. "Can I help you?"

"I'm your four o'clock." He answered, lips twitching at me but not quite forming a frown or a smile. Bastard.

"Oh," I moved away from the door so he could come in. I cursed my small kitchen, my four-seat glass dining table, the tiny living space and my mediocre view, closed the door behind me and turned to him with a giant fake smile. He was looking right at me unblinkingly and for a moment I felt self conscious in my ripped jeans and grey long sleeved top.

See, since I had a home-studio I asked clients my boss gave me to come to my home. Hence Julian being here.

See, stupid idea.

"Uh, where's your model?" I asked him, slightly distracted by the fact the supermodel that was supposed to arrive with him wasn't here. This was my first major shoot; this was supposed to be perfect since that was what I had planned for. "We can't start until she gets here."

He shrugged, something close to amusement deep in his eyes, though I wasn't quite sure since his face remained quite expressionless. "I thought she was already supposed to be here."

"Val?" I turned to the woman who was helping me today. She just shrugged helplessly at me.

"Can we make this quick?" Julian cleared his throat "I have another appointment in an hour on the other side of town." I turned and looked at Val who once again, shrugged helplessly.

"Maybe we can wait?" I suggested weakly, moving towards my camera and away from Julian.

"You have forty minutes." Julian reminded me again. He was almost too close for comfort.

"Reschedule." I tried again.

"Can't," Val said without missing a beat, shaking her head "The interview goes out in next months issue and this was the only time he was free."

I closed my eyes and tried to think quickly "Val!" I exclaimed, looking at her "You have to do it!"

"Are you kidding me? I just had a baby seven months ago and I have two other kids under eight. There is no way I'm going in front of the camera with this excess fat, skin and these tired looking eyes. No." She smirked at me though. Evil woman. "You do it."

I gaped her. Somehow I knew, knew, knew this was going to happen. I knew today wasn't a good day, I had known from the moment I had woken up; my alarm had malfunctioned and woken me up at six in the morning instead of nine, there was no coffee in the cupboards, I found out my phone had gotten washed through the washing machine and Julian turned up at my door. Now I had to be in the shoot with him? I should have just called in sick today.

Whilst I was frozen in shock Val was nodding and talking to herself, finally finished with a "Yes, that'll do well." She pushed me towards a screen that had the costume that the model we had hired was supposed to wear behind it and ordered me to get changed.

I turned still in a slight daze from this actually happening and got into the full body woman's suit with matching white pumps and black bowler hat. I came out a few minutes later frowning to see Julian wearing a tuxedo that seemed like a second skin on him and his glorious looking muscles. I gulped. Julian licked his lips when he saw me and I nearly stumbled at the intense look in his eyes. Really.

"I'll do his make-up and you do yours," Val ordered again "Go for smokey eyes and dark lipstick," she nodded to the things that were set up on my coffee table and got to work on Julian. I didn't take so long and after more orders from Val smoothed my usually stubborn hair into one long wave and pinned it so it was all over my shoulder. Julian was done before me so Val had gone to look over the equipment.

"So," he murmured lowly to me, coming closer towards me. "What are we going to be doing first?" He asked, getting uncomfortably close.

"Well, first we'll be shooting the cover, so it'll be just you for a while." Val said loudly from the other end of the room. I thanked whatever being was looking over me and managed to slip around him and in front of the camera. He followed and stood in front of the lamps and the white screen. I cleared my throat, angrily slamming the lid down on every single naughty thought that was going through my brain.

"Okay, so I want you to just look at the camera. No smiling, no nothing, just look." I instructed, taking multiple pictures. I immediately got into professional mode. "Smirk," I ordered him a moment or two later. I took photos of that and then tilted my head in contemplation "Fold your arms." He followed every instruction I gave him for the next ten minutes, but then Val interrupted me with the clearing of her throat.

"Okay, time for you to join. You've taken at least sixty photos of him already. Now, Julian," she ordered, taking over for me while I slumped over to him, leaving enough room between us to fit another person. "Stand facing the camera, Julian. Mischa, stand chest to chest, your left shoulder to his right looking away from the camera. Good," she approved when we moved into position. I refused to look at Julian even though I could feel him looking down at me. "Shuffle left a little Mischa," Val instructed. I shuffled left so I was closer to him. Very reluctantly of course.

"Good, now Julian, hold her head and tilt it away from you. Good, and hold her hand with your other one. Yeah, just hold it. Perfect." I could feel Val's satisfaction as the camera snapped away. I quivered at the feeling of his breath on my exposed neck. "Make it look intimate, yeah, that's it." He started to kiss my neck. My insides flopped around rebelliously. He started to leave open mouthed kisses, his tongue darting out to lick my exposed neck when his lips were firmly on my skin so Val wouldn't be able to see it. I let out a very small, low moan. I could feel his grin, so naturally, I hit him in the back. He just grinned some more.

Bastard.

"Okay, okay, last one. I promise." Val said twenty minutes and various posses later. We had moved to my living room and was using the setting sun that was coming through my main floor to ceiling window as our light instead of using the lamps. As of the moment I was glaring at Val who was having way too much fun in my opinion.

"Fine," I groaned, forcing myself to look reluctant as I lowered myself back onto Julian's lap. He didn't say anything but I could feel the smug radiating off of him.

"Okay, now, take off your hat, open your jacket again like before." I moved to do as Val said "And put your hat up to cover the two of your faces." I just stared at her, refusing to do as she said. That implied we were kissing. I, in no shape, way or form, wanted to kiss Julian Stanton. Not now, not ever. Maybe. Okay, kind of -but only a little bit, and that's only because he smelt so yum. But that's all.

No -no, I mean, not at all. I didn't want to kiss him at all.

"Well, hurry up." Val sniffed impatiently. I lifted up the hat like a teenager who had to do the dishes when they didn't want to and sighed. I still refused to look at Julian though. "Okay, Julian, cover your hand with hers. Good." His hand was warm over mine that was holding the stupid hat.

After a moment I rolled my eyes at my own childish antics, found my lady-balls again and looked at Julian's bright eyes. He grabbed me into a kiss.

For a moment I couldn't remember how to breathe as he kissed me. Then I forgot how to speak coherently and ignored every voice in my brain that told me to stop, instead I leaned into him, accepting his arm that had wound itself around me. I reached up with my remaining hand and fisted it into his hair a little roughly as he trailed his fingers up my waist. His tongue owned mine as we kissed and he set the hard and fast pace. He moaned in the back of his throat. It was one of the sexiest sounds I had ever heard. He narrowed his eyes at me when I grinned and attacked my neck, immediately finding my sweet spot.

I threw the hat just away and fisted my other hand into his hand, moaning loudly as he bit and then soothed with his tongue. "J-Jules."I groaned, pulling him back to my mouth by his hair.

I had missed this. I had only been on two dates since breaking up with Jules and nothing had even come close to this. I felt like I was free falling through sunlight surrounded by a gazillion butterfly's, with anyone else I always ended up disappointed, but not Julian. Never Jules. It was glorious with Julian; no one else smelt and tasted this good. No one.

"Ah...Mischa?" I could hear Val's confused voice from behind me. I snapped back from Julian's lips breathing hard and let my hands uncurl from his hair. Somehow I had gone from sitting across his thighs to straddling him. I gulped. He just looked up at me and tightened his arms that were around my waist, under my shirt. I quickly forced myself off him, still panting slightly.

Val looked between the two of us for an awkward moment then cleared her throat "Ah, I'll just leave you two alone for a moment." She quickly went upstairs.

We were silent for a little bit, him staring at me and me and me looking right back at him, not quite sure what to say. He talked first.

"Misch-"

"Don't," I held my hand out immediately in a stopping motion "No, don't say that." I shook my head, knowing whatever he would say would make me break down.

"You don't know what I'm going to say." He murmured to me, looking a little annoyed with our situation. Probably because we weren't kissing and he wasn't in me.

"It doesn't matter," I shook my head "Just, don't." I turned away from him. I heard him stand up.

"No." Was all he said, before his voice hardened "No. You don't get to be the hurt one here. You left me without so much as an explanation! I just find your registration on my desk the following Monday with a sad face on the cover. A fucking sad face." I felt guilty for a moment, but then pushed it aside. "You moved apartments, you changed your number and you didn't answer any one of my messages that I left with your friend Chelsea. You haven't let me talk to you at all." I whirled around.

"Fine, you want to talk, here's your chance. Talk." I folded my arms expectantly.

"You left." Was the first thing he said.

"We've established that," I nodded in reply.

"Why?"

We were silent for a bit. "Because you refused to get off your high fucking horse," I finally said "And acknowledge me in front of others. Do you know how much that hurt?" I asked him. "Do you know how much it hurt having a boyfriend for almost a year who wouldn't look your way twice when you were in the company of others?" Tears brimmed my eyes "Do you know how much it hurt when you looked at me like you didn't even know me? When you flirted with others? When people asked if you had a significant other and you replied by saying no? Because it hurt." A tear dripped down my cheek. I sniffed and quickly wiped it away. "I realised I didn't want to feel that hurt ever again Julian, so I left. I refuse to feel that way again just because you want to kiss a little."

He stared at me intensely and licked his bottom lip. "Why...why didn't you tell me any of this?" He finally asked.

"Because you- you were happy with how everything was...And...you never volunteered to know me in front of anyone else. You were the one who wanted to keep us secret in the first place!"

"Because you were my secretary. People don't sleep with their secretary's and make it known unless they're a personal mistress used for sex. Everyone knows that, Hell, my father's a prime example. If people had known we had slept together or were in a relationship while you were still working for me, all that hard work you did to get to being my secretary would have been disregarded because you're sleeping with the boss. That's what it would have been chalked up to." He explained quietly, the normal mask over his face long gone.

"Yeah, well, what about when we weren't even in work. You never acknowledged me then either." I folded my arms stubbornly.

He chuckled without any real humor in his voice at that, his hands going through his hair. "You're still my secretary even when we're not actually working Mischa. There are a lot of people who are watching me at all times of the day, waiting for me to mess up. I'm a very well known person; one picture snapped on a shitty cell phone would have ruined you. You wouldn't have been taken seriously again Mischa. And that's in any work that you would have ever taken after being my secretary too."

"Well, then why didn't you tell me to quit?" I demanded. I was slightly appalled with myself for demanding, but I brushed it off.

"I did," he stepped closer. "I told you so many times. You just said you wouldn't see me every day any other way." He said, obviously frustrated. "I thought that was your way of telling me to fuck off and leave things...things the way they were."

"Why the Hell would I want things to stay the way they were? I thought by staying your secretary that was the only way I would see you! I thought-" I stopped abruptly.

He stepped closer "Thought what?" He asked lowly. "Mischa," he prompted me when I didn't say anything, stepping closer still so he was right in front of me. He grabbed my chin and pulled it up gently until I was looking right at him. "Thought what?" He asked again.

"I thought you would lose interest." I murmured honestly, looking not looking at him in embarrassment of admitting this to him. "I mean..." I looked into his eyes "You're Julian Stanton. You could have anyone you wanted at any moment you wanted them. Women leave their boyfriends for just a chance at you...People don't even know me." I sighed self-pityingly. I grimaced on the inside; Julian had actually reduced me to self-pity.

"How could you even think that?" He asked.

"Well it wasn't a stretch!" I replied heatedly, defending my thought process. "I thought you-"

"Okay!" Val, who was standing at the foot of the stairs with her bag over her shoulder exclaimed loudly. She pointed at me. "You thought he was ashamed of you," She pointed at Julian "He thought you weren't serious about your relationship and you were both wrong and are actually very much in love. We get it." She blew a stray hair out of her face. "Just kiss and make up already." With one last roll of her eyes, she left, slamming the door after her.

Julian turned to me "Uh-"

"Sorry I hurt you," I rushed, feeling sick since I had single-handedly ruined our relationship when all we had to do in the first place was talk. I groaned "God," I put my head in my hands, yanking my chin away from him and stepping to the side of him. "This has happened before! In first grade I was supposed to marry Matthew Harmond at recess but I had to go to the nurse and when I came back I saw stupid little Annie Turner hugging him. So what do I do? I go straight to Eric Mulner and I kiss his cheek." I sighed, trying to stop the word vomit "Turns out he had helped Annie pick up her toys and she was thanking him!"

I felt a chuckle from the person in front of me, so I looked up.

"God I've missed you," he whispered before taking me into his arms like he always did when we kissed and bringing himself down towards my lips. I closed my eyes and lent upwards. The kiss didn't come though. I cracked my eyes open to see him just looking at me, a smile over his face "I'm sorry I didn't fire you." Before I could retort he took my lips with his teeth and I forgot that I was supposed to even be making a response.

It was like he was trying to make up for lost time as he kissed me. I'm not sure how long we were kissing for, but he had managed to get me into only my underwear without me even knowing. I wrapped a leg around his waist and jumped to his fingers came under my ass and caught me. He chuckled against my throat. I remembered a vague need to retort to something he had said about firing me so I said the first insult that came to mind as he bit and soothed my throat.

"Bastard."

Hello and thank-you random Val for being my putter-togetherer. Yeah, made up word WAAAAT.

*eh-hem* Well, this wasn't what I was expecting at all. Honestly, I don't know how THIS happened, it just morphed by itself. Meh - I like it. Though, it has just gone ten to eleven at night and I'm slightly sick, so my opinion may have changed by the time I wake up.

Hope you liked it better than the other one!