A/N: So I hope you guys think these are funny…I am trying to put these quotes into categories…they will be up where the chapters are. There will probability be funny, love, inspirational, and life quotes.
These will be the funny quotes:
"Just say no to Negativity."
"What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?"
"We're adults. When did this happen? & how do we make it stop?"
"Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, But rather to skid in sideways. Totally worn out and shouting 'Dammmm…what a ride!'"
"This is not the life I ordered"
"Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."
"If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation."
"I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"Oooooh…Drama! Let's get popcorn!"
"Homework hurts trees."
"You're just Jealous Because The Voices Only Talk To Me!"
"Do it today. It might be illegal tomorrow!"
"Stupid & Fearless"
"Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them."
"I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter."
"Haters never Die, they just Multiply."
"Don't you try to out-weird me."
"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."
"Therapy is expensive, Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. You chose."
"Shut up voices! …or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again."
"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems…"
"If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless?"
"Everything good in life is either illegal, fattening, or bad."
"It's a beautiful day. Now watch some idiot screw it up."
"Dear math, I don't want to solve your problems, I have my own to solve."
"Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also."
"Gone crazy…be back soon, maybe."
"What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous…? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired…I put down the mirror. ;) "
"I'm not random you just can't think as fast as me."
"Is that your face or today's Halloween?"
"He who laughs last…thinks slowest."
"Who says I have to be normal?"
" 'latte' is Italian for 'you paid too much for that coffee.' "
"I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either."
"Sibling Property Rules
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If I'm holding it, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If your playing with something, and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours."
"One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop."
"I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends."
"If at first you don't succeed ski diving is not for you. If at first you DO succeed then I would recommend not trying again. You can only fail once."
"It's tough being a guy
If you but her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egoist. If not, you're not ambitious.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore."
"I like poetry, long walks on the beach & poking dead things with a stick."
"I text people sitting next to me. :D"
"I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to."
"I'm the kind of person who will spend hours trying to drown a fish."
"Genius by birth, Slacker by choice."
"Would you like a side of Epic with that Fail."
"Do not interrupt me when I am talking to myself!"
"Thought of the day: Some people are like slinkies. They don't have a purpose, but they bring a smile to your face when you see them falling down the stairs."
"I'm busy. You're Ugly. Have a nice day!"
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so, I go back to being me."
"Who ever said anything was possible never tried to slam a revolving door!"
"What's this thing you call normal? Is it contagious? OMG! Don't touch me! I might catch you normal!"
"I run with scissors…it makes me feel dangerous."
"Best Friends: They know how retarded and stupid you are and still chose to be seen with you in public."
"I'm the boss No questions No arguments We'll just do things my way."
"My number is 1-800-get-away"
"I'm so happy…I could fart rainbows!"
"I like to think that sometimes I still make sense…look the grass smiled."
"I used to be normal…but then I met those losers that I now call my best friends!"
"moo I'm a pig."
"If the music's too loud, then you're too old."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed these…the next chapter will be lover quotes…