Your number lies meaninglessly in my cellphone-
distressing every day over not seeing your smile,
I might as well call but I promised to delete your number:
yet I still keep your contact here,
thinking that perhaps one day you'd turn around and tell me
that you're willing to let me be your friend.
Or maybe one day, when I know I'm about to die,
I'd want to die, drowning in your voice- because I wouldn't know
where you have gone to, I wouldn't see your smile.
I survived my days in this place, just because of it-
but in the many photos I've seen, there was just a facade; mask-
there was no smile, there wasn't laughter.
Just like a human derived of clothes, it was a face derived of a smile.
I miss the smile that wasn't for me,
(sometimes it was)
and want the laughter that will never be.
(maybe one day it will)
A life without you is just...
incomplete, there's that separation in my heart,
and it's been calling out for your name for a while now:
I miss all the times I lived that had your existence in it,
I want to rewind the moments that I
knew there would be a tomorrow seeing you.
Now I can't, I'm leaving. I've always thought
that you'd be the one to leave but it's me this time.
My leaving is your happiness- you'll be free
so please don't carry on that burden anymore.
You were the reason for me to leave,
but also the reason for me to stay, yet I chose the choice
that would make you happy.
It's a choice in which sacrifice would be in mine- but it's okay
for me to live a life regretting the times I never cherished
and to know for the fact that it'd never return.