Well guys, I'm back again~! I got this one review from this anonymous person that made me kinda sad, and I really wanted to reply and be like "listen, the point of the story is to start cliché, but then you learn that Leo- and- and- Elliot's brother and- and-" and yeah. But I couldn't because they were on anonymous, and I wanted to cry for like a week. But really, I promise, I have plans for this story, really I swear I do. Anyway, I'd like to give a MASSIVE thank you to all the wonderful reviews I got, you all made me really happy, and I feel like I've accomplished something as an author. I plan on starting to put up another story of mine soon, so if you just like my style of writing, you should read it! So thank you everyone, and here goes. Enjoy my lovelies~
For the rest of the weekend, I didn't hear a word from Leo. I tried texting him, calling him, I left numerous voice mails, all talking nothing about what had happened, just about the project, but I got no reply. Sure, every fiber of my being wanted to scream at him and question him about what he did, but I knew that would get me nowhere, and would only piss him off. But I needed to know. The next time I had any chance to talk to him was Monday, our first class together.
Leo was already seated when I entered the classroom. I walked over and took my seat in front of him, and still facing forward, and began talking.
"...Why didn't you answer any of my calls or texts?" I felt like a stupid, jealous girlfriend asking that. I tried my hardest to sounds intimidating, though I'm sure my tone of worry was the only thing that was noticeable.
"Why the fuck does it matter?"
"'Cause we need to continue to work on the project. We need to do a lot of research before we actually start doing the project."
"You know, I'm actually busy on Saturdays. I do have a life," he reached a hand forward, and grasped my shoulder gently. I instantly brushed it away, almost fearfully, and turned around to face him. He stared at me, confused, and hurt.
"Well what about Sundays then?"
"Nope, I have church."
"Well then you'll have to clear you Saturday schedule because I'm not failing, or doing all the work, and letting your lazy ass take credit."
"Hell no. I'm not going to completely destroy my social life for some damn project."
I let my shoulders drop pessimistically, "...We have to do this."
"Well I'm not giving up my Saturdays."
"My god!" I was still quiet enough not to draw any attention to us, but it was obvious he was gnawing on my last nerve, "Why do you insist on being so complicated!"
"You're the one who's being complicated."
"You're definitely the one complicating things. I mean," I'm not going to lie, I when I spoke I came off as little cocky, and arrogant, "considering what you did this weekend when you decided to-"
"Shut the fuck up and don't say another fucking word about that. It was a fucking mistake, you got that. A mistake," he leaned closer to me, and almost whispered, as though he was scared of anyone else hearing him. His voice shook with anger, and it struck fear into my heart.
I acted like it hadn't phased me in the slightest, "Oh what you think I'm gonna go around saying that you-" I paused slightly, and let my voice drop to a scared whisper like his, "that you fucked me? I'm not gay. So I have no idea why you would even do that since you claim to be straight."
"Just shut the fuck up, I am straight. And the only reason that happened was because I thought you were a pretty girl. Now shut up, and don't say another word about it."
"Why the hell are you so defensive?"
"Because you keep saying I'm a fucking faggot."
"Don't say that; that's really offensive to some people."
He rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
"...We still need to figure out what to do about the project."
"...How about Fridays after school?"
"Sure," I shrugged.
"Good, now don't talk to me anymore."
"Like I wanted to in the first place," I rolled my eyes in return, and turned back around, ignoring my want to actually want to talk more about what had happened.
As I walked to my next class, I saw Leo again, and he saw me. In fact, he looked dead at me, smiled like a cocky bastard, and then began making out with a girl in front of him. I felt like I was going to cry. My eyes swelled with tears, and I bit down so heavily on my bottom lip it began to bleed slightly. My throat began to get sore the way it does when you try your hardest to choke back tears. He was doing it all just to mess with me. A mistake. That's all I was. So I ran past him and into the bathroom, locked myself in a stall, and just let my tears fall. The late bell rang, and I continued crying like a girl. Why, I was unsure. Not too long after the late bell rang, I heard someone enter the bathroom, and tried to muffle my cries so that they would not hear me.
I began frantically wiping my tears away, immediately realizing it was Leo.
"Elliot, I know you're in here."
"...Fuck off," my voice was heavy with tears, obvious that I was sobbing like a bitch.
He knocked twice on the door, "Hey now, what'd I do?" I was so used to his voice being hard, and sarcastic, that I almost didn't recognize the new soft tone of his. It as the same tone he used when... when we had sex.
"You're nothing but an asshole who only cares about himself."
"That's not true... come on, open the door."
"What did I do?"
"...Gee, I don't know. Maybe you fucked me, and then pretty much said you hated me, and made out with a slut... But just maybe."
"I don't hate you... Come on, open the fucking door."
"Why, so you can laugh at me to my face."
"...Why do you care so much?" it was a scared, timid, whisper.
"Cause you took my virginity, and I didn't want you to. You pretty much raped me," I chose to ignore the fact that he was having a sensitive moment, because the bastard didn't give a fuck that I was.
"...If I recall correctly," Leo cleared his throat and made his voice slightly higher pitched, like he was doing a bad impression of a girl, " 'Oh, god~! Leo~! More! Harder, please!"
"Shut the fuck up you incessant bastard!"
"...Open the door so I can see you stupid face when I tell you this."
Even though I didn't have a real reason to do as he asked, I did. He looked me up and down, and gave a sad smile, then took both my hands in his, and looked down at me, into my eyes. His blond hair fell over his eyes, and I got the urge to brush it away.
"...The sex was good."
For some reason, that was the final straw. If that was his heartfelt moment, we were going to have some serious problems. "Then why the hell did you just run out! Why the hell did you just fucking leave me all alone!" I sobbed, losing my voice to tears at the end of the sentence. He hugged me close to him, refusing to let me go as I struggled, and in the end, I grabbed onto his shirt.
Leo remained silent, but it felt like he hugged me tighter as I gave up, and just let him embrace me.
"Why did you just walk out..."
He sighed, "...I can't explain it," there was a depressed undertone to his voice, like somehow he was hoping I would have all the answers.
"...Why do you act like... like you actually like me... then act like you fucking hate me?" I rested my head against his chest, and heard his heart beating crazy fast.
"I... I don't like the thought of people even thinking that I do things with guys. I fuck girls. That's what everyone knows. That's who I am."
I took a breath in through my mouth, not happy about what I was going to admit, "... I don't like seeing you with girls."
The question caught me off guard. That was the million dollar question, and right then and there, I refused to simply write it off as "oh, I'm gay", or "despite all the terrible shit you've done to me over the few short days that we've known each other, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I like you the way a girl likes a guy". So I just settled with the answer he'd been giving me: "... I don't know."
"...Can you please just... keep your mouth shut?"
The moment seeming entirely lost, I pushed away from him, though he still held me halfway in his arms, "Why would I tell people? I know I don't really have anything to protect, but I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about me."
"Well I do have something to protect, so just shut it."
"See!" I tried my hardest to push him completely away from me, but he was much stronger than I, "You- you make me think that 'oh maybe he'll be nice to me, maybe he'll get over himself and his vain playboy ego', but then you do shit like this and it makes me want to punch you in the face!"
He barked a quiet laugh, "Like that would actually hurt."
"Just leave, okay! Just get out of my fucking life!" I again tried to get out of his grasp, but he shook me almost violently, like that was the only way he knew to resolve a situation, or calm a person down.
"Do you really mean that?" for a split second, amongst the anger in his eyes, I saw a flash of terror, as if there was some way I could hurt him.
I stopped fighting him, and his grip on my shoulders loosened instantly, "...No..." I hated myself a bit for finally vocalizing it.
When he eventually spoke, he sounded dejected , and shaken, "...What do you want from me?"
"I should be the one asking that."
"I already told you; I don't know... I don't even know what's going through my head anymore... I mean... Things were perfectly fine until you came along and now... God, I don't even know."
"I-I..." I tried to find words of solace, only to come up empty handed, "...I'm sorry," I lowered my head, thinking that it was my fault I was even in this situation to begin with.
"...I don't know what to say to you anymore..."
Leo moved one hand from my shoulder, to under my chin, tilting my head, back up to meet his brown eyes, "Then don't say anything."
I knew that skipping class to be with a man half of me detested was a dreadful idea, but for that time... that side of me didn't exist. For that time... everything just felt right. We ended up never going to that class that day, opting to instead sit on the bathroom floor, his back against the painted cinder blocks that our school was made out of, and I across from him, cross legged, as we talked about trivial things, and told stupid stories from our past, just to make the other laugh and smile. There were no strings attached, no reputations to be concerned about, because there was not another soul involved in our little mess. Things were simple, but that was what we needed. The simplicity of the moment allowed us to forget the pressing matters we were faced with, not that either of us had any semblance of an answer anyway; it allowed us to forget the awkwardness that, yes indeed, we had slept together, though neither of us would even willing admit that it had happened, and would call you a liar if you said either of us enjoyed it, when quite honestly, we both had, very much too. Occasionally, he would lean off the wall, closer to me, and take my hands in his, and begin playing with them as one of us told a story, letting an authentic smile grace his lips as he did so. And it was this man that made me question myself, this man that confused the hell out of me, and this man that I actually wanted to be around. I allowed myself to genuinely savor and enjoy that point in time, and even smile, for the first time in a long time. I told him that in all brutality, more than anything, I was scared of starting over at a new school, with nothing. I told him how my mother and I would constantly scream at each other because of how intruding she was. I even explained how I used to keep a journal, but burned it once my mother attempted to read it. And he sat patiently, listening to it all, and asking the occasional question. And this was the first time I'd been able to open up like that since... I decided not to tell him that yet. Regardless of that, I just wanted to sit there all day, just talking to him about nothing. But of course all good things must come to an end, and the bell dismissing class rung. We both jumped to our feet, scrambling to find our schoolbags, and before I could even blink, Leo pulled me into his arms, and passionately pressed his lips to mine.
He pulled away before it got any further, and smiled again, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
I stood across from him and blushed, slightly awed by the romance of the moment, and then swallowed nervously and nodded, "O-okay."
And then, he left. No other words, and backwards glance at me, nothing. I waited a few seconds before making my departure, and then walked in the opposite direction, and again, it was like nothing had even happened in the first place.
Well, well? What do you think? Getting a little deeper? More questions that need answered? Like what the hell did Elliot not tell Leo? Well stick around, and you'll find out~! Please leave review, and tell me what you think, even if you thought it was awful and cliche. But hopefully you didn't! Thank you much, my lovelies~! See you in the next chapter~!