mitral or aortic insufficiency. That's basically where one of your heart valves have torn up edges and cannot close properly, leaking blood back out. Can be caused by a disease, etc and causes a heart murmur. Generally not good for your health, of course.
January 17th, 2012
Feel trapped in my
echo-complex closet of a mind.
In this aching, buried heat
I jump and reach,
stretching to my muscle's extent
begging for the apple in the limelight.
I am bleeding
up upon the twigs and branches,
they hold me like a fragile
creature, and I am frozen
in your beauty.
Struck mute by your voice
that shot through my larynx like
electricity. I ache for your
If I could capture you
cupped inside my hands,
I would never let you escape
even if the frostbite threatens to
numb my extended digits off of their
I am addicted to your
your ugliness in
exclusivity. I would
lock you in my little
secret box if there were air holes
to breathe through, or water to drink.
But inside I am suffocation.
I am overwhelming and burdened and
begged with the prospect of leaving life
to ditch such ideals so I can
lay crippled beneath you
at your feet, bleeding like a
your connection to this outlet.
And as all the lambs are
lay, prostrated below you-
you dare never to glance and
I am perplexed- exhaustively,
perpetually, unendingly in a strain
of torn ligaments and ripped muscle.
I am constantly with you,
like the rough edges of your
valiantly pumping heart valves.
They regurgitate as I lap
the loss up eagerly, hoping
you'll never notice.
I am unseen, but you can feel me,
can't you? You can feel your blood
volume shrinking weakly and surely,
as I am yours alone. You do not?
Oh, but you will. You will see me.
You will feel me. I thirst for the
erythrocytic spill and failure
as long as you remain singing.
As long as you are in these frail hands,
I will take you tumbling down
into cold water. I was insufficient,
like these heart valves.