A/N SO guys- I've been busy writing on another story but I assure you I haven't forgotten about this. Mainly This chapter was just – hard to write. But I am still working hard on this ;P I assure you.

Hayden now has a Formspring as well. So if you want to send him a question the link is on my profile page. Nothing is off limits. Mainly because It's supposed to be for his job. Something to allow his viewers to talk to him, ;P I will be adding some questions to the story so if its funny or awkward or weird or sexual~ Chances are it will wind up in the chapter :D If it's a hit I will make one for Landon as well :D


I woke up finding myself tangled up in Landon. Our legs, arms, everything were touching. I was still naked and because it was morning I was hard and as I shifted I found that Landon was also hard, and my bed smelt like sex. Unfortunately I hadn't been drunk when last night happened I could remember everything.

Given it was better sex than I had with Stephen but at least with Stephen it meant something. Not a depressed out of my mind distraction.

I pulled away and sat up blinking a little and rubbing my eyes which were absolutely drenched in dry tears. I couldn't completely how much of a mess I had let my life get into, and I did admit it was me who got myself into it.

If only I had told Stephen up front. If only I hadn't lied and pretended everything with me was normal. If only-

Landon stirred lifting his head and making a groaning noise. Before opening his eyes in a squint. "Morning beautiful." He said groggily. Reaching towards me with a lazy grin. He rested his hand on my thigh and squeezed it gently before caressing it. "Mm.. you a morning sex kind of guy? I am."

I snorted trying to stop myself from laughing. It was more of a nervous laugh than anything but I'm sure it was still bad form. "Um- I-I-don't know."

He smiled at me. "You nervous?"

I blushed deeply. "Kind of." I replied quietly. "I'm not used to this kind of thing and Stephen- I don't know what is going on." I muttered.

"We are having sex. Great sex, actually." He smirked back at me before reaching up and brushing my face with his finger tips. "You're a great guy, ya know? Stephen was an idiot that he let you get away."

Wow. That felt like he meant something.

And that's when I really woke up. Turns out I dreamt a bit after all.

My body was entwined with Landon's as I had dreamt and we were naked but he didn't wake up as I untwisted our limbs. Instead I got out of bed pulled on some clothes and went to the bathroom. I leaned up against the door and let out a breath opening my phone. I turned it back on and swallowed hard.

I typed in my passcode and held the phone up to my ear.

"Hayden? Where are you? Call me back."

"Hayden- we need to talk. Where are you?"

"So what? I find out you let people video tape you having sex right after we do and you run away? Fuck you!"

I winced. Ow. I guess I deserved that though.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that last message. Just- how could you do that? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Hey- It's Sam. Just wondering when we could get you in for another shoot. I was thinking you might want to try being a top? Mix things up a little. Plus let you enjoy the other side – okay that was a weird thing- eh okay call me when you get the chance."

"Are you okay? Just call me and let know you didn't die or something. Please?"

"I'm starting to worry. Please- I'm mad but, we can talk about it. Just call me? I don't know where you are and it's dark- and-,"

"I'm sorry I dropped my phone. I'm worried please call."

And that was it. No more calls.

I hung up on my voice mail and called Stephen. I took a deep breath as I heard him answer."Hayden?"

For a second I didn't say a word. I was too much of a coward. "Hi." I said softly into the phone. I didn't want to wake up Landon in the next room.

"God- where are you? Are you okay?" He sounded worried.

"I'm fine. I'm at home." I told him weakly. "I'm sorry."

I heard him swallow on the other end. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's complicated?" I responded although my answer sounded more like a question. "It's not something I'm very proud of."

He sighed. "Well yeah. You could have told me." He muttered.

"I'll try to be more honest?" I suggested. "I'll tell you anything."

"Okay- you're home?"

"Yes." I replied.

"How about I get you for dinner? We can talk then. Face to face." He told me.

I shrugged. "Don't you have a Wedding?"

He laughed. "Morning Wedding. Ceremony is already over. I can skip the reception. I'm sure they'll understand. I'll pick you up at seven."


"Okay." He repeated and hung up.

God I'm such an idiot. How was I going to even face him?

I walked out of the bathroom to find Landon sitting up in my bed rubbing his eyes. "Feeling better?" He asked before stretching a bit.

I nodded. Great, now I had to deal with the fact I had sex with Landon. I brought it on myself; I shouldn't have been too whiny but- I didn't want to deal with him too.

Luckily he was a bit passé about sex. It was normal to him I suppose. So he just climbed out of bed gave me a smile and asked, "Are eggs okay for breakfast?"

He slipped out not bothering to dress. I supposed he went to his room and got some clothes on because when I eventually gathered myself enough to come out of my room he was dressed and cracking eggs open ready to fry them up.

I sat down at the table and watched him. He was whistling some happy tune as he cooked. It was oddly soothing. We ate before moving to watch television.

We sat next to each other and I could almost completely forget about the fact we had sex- let alone off camera. He just seemed so relaxed and in turn my body seemed to gravitate to his. Before I knew it I was mere centimeter of actually touching him and His arm slipped on to my shoulder bringing reality crashing back down.

I was cuddling with him on the couch when I was trying to make everything with Stephen better. What the hell? Who was I?

I pulled away and moved to my other side moving some pillows around. I glanced at him and watched him carefully. His arm slid down and rested where I had been sitting and onto my foot. He didn't move to message it or anything. It just rested on my foot. It was weird for me because I couldn't tell if he did it on purpose or if he just put his arm down and my foot happened to be there.

I was never in a situation like that before. Where I was too confused what to do that I just did nothing. Okay, I have but not in real life. Being on a porn set was different.

"Um Landon?" I asked cautiously.

He looked over at me with a kind of blank face. "Hm?" He hummed in question.

"Thanks for- last night. I was a mess." I told him hopeful that with us having the conversation would also bring the end to the awkward feelings I was having.

Landon shrugged. "No problem." He went back to watching the television.

"I don't normally-," I started but paused when he looked back at me. When did he get so pretty? "I don't normally do that kind of thing. I just- I just wanted to make sure we were still friends? You don't think I used you or something- because I guess I did, but I feel bad about it."

Landon smiled and rolled his eyes. "You might not have real sex without being in a relationship- but I do. It was fun. I like having sex you. You make nice noises."

I blanked at him. "Nice noises?"

He snorted and turned all of his attention away from the television. "You don't scream but you make noise. Like whines and stuff. It's a turn on for me. A lot of guys are self conscious about noises but I like it because they let me know I'm doing something right. Doesn't hurt that you're fucking sexy."

I blushed a deep red. "Oh. Thanks- I guess." I stumbled on words. "I'm meeting Stephen later to talk." I let him know wondering if that would get a rise out of him.

"That's good. You two both probably need to work stuff out." Said before getting up. "I'm going to check my email." He told me and left for his room.

Seven rolled around and I got properly dressed for my date.

Stephen showed up and at first I didn't know what to do. Kissing him hello seemed too friendly. Like I was acting like I had done nothing wrong. A hug felt the same way. I had to do something though. I put my hand out. "Hi."

God I was failing at this.

He glanced at my hand and took it shaking it before leaning in and pecking me on the cheek. I walked out with him and he put his hand on my back leading me out. "I was thinking we could get grab some food, find somewhere private and eat while we talk things over."

"You're not mad?" I asked softly.

"We'll talk about it. Now where do you want to grab food?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Where ever."

We got chips and burgers and went to a park and sat on a bench. It was dark out which meant no kids around- still I found it Ironic we were talking about my job as a porn actor there.

I took a bite of burger and waited for him to start. I was way too nervous to know where to start.

"So- Porn?"

I nodded and took another bite.

"How long?" He asked before sipping on his drink.

I copied him before answering. "Since I moved here, it was on the list."

"List?" He asked curiously.

I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to him. "I have to do everything on the list." I started to explain giving him a moment to look it over. "My best friend died and he made this list. He asked me to do it for him and I promised. It's embarrassing. I didn't want anyone to know but- I should have told you."

"You should have." He agreed and handed me back my list. There was a long awkward pause where I had no idea what to say back. Instead I stared at my shoes.

They were kind of dirty. I think I made one bow way bigger than the other too.

"I watched your videos."He said and it was like time slowed down and my heart jumped into my ears. Was I even breathing? Okay- yes I was.

Stephen watched my videos, he watched me having sex with Landon. He saw me, in the bunny underwear and in handcuffs- and oh god he saw my interviews and my three way. I think I was so bright red I could be used as a flashlight.

I was so bright red I was like an exit sign in an overcrowded theater.

I was so red I could lead Santa's sleigh.

I was so red the devil on my shoulder was telling me to tone it down.

I was so red-

"Hayden?" That broke the monologue. "Is it okay? I was just curious." He shrugged watching me.

I took a breath and tried to speak. I couldn't. I wasn't sure what to say and even if I did I don't think my vocal box was functional. "I-ja buh." Or it was. I really shouldn't have tested it. I think I only confused him.

"It was hot. I kind of got jealous watching it though- is that weird?" He chuckled lightly.

I looked down again. "Not any weirder than being in it."

"Are you doing it again?" He asked.

"Yeah." I answered nervously. "Is it a problem?"

"I don't know. Maybe?" He guessed. "I didn't ever picture shagging a porn star."

I bit my lip. Why was my life completely- no! No! I will not be that whiny kid who acts like his life is ruined when there are kids starving in Africa- and thousands of people dying every day. "I never thought I'd be one."

"Maybe we should take a break? Few weeks. See where we stand there." He suggested.

I frowned. I didn't like it much. Then again I was the lying deceiver so I really didn't have an option to think it was outrageous. Instead I just nodded.

He walked me back to my place but there was no goodnight kiss and no hug. Just good bye. Something told me I wouldn't be seeing him again in 'a few weeks.'

I opened my apartment door and saw Landon sitting in his underwear eating some sort of chocolate ice-cream out of the carton. He glanced up at me when I came in. "Should I clear out?"

I walked right passed him into the kitchen grabbed a spoon and sat next to him. "Stephen broke up with me." I told him and put a spoon in.

"And you are going to eat ice-cream?" He took the spoon away from me. "No- no-no. We are not girls. We eat ice-cream out of the carton because we want to. Not when a guy breaks up."

He started walking away and I gaped at him. "What?"

He came back with a bottle of gin. "We get drunk."

A/N: so- again sorry about the time it took but hopefully you guys liked it and yeah. Hopefully it wont take this long next time :D

Anon reviews:

AnonymousWriter: Ah yes that tis the pungent scent of break up ;P as you see Hayden is trying to be honest and Landon is still trying to keep him together :D Thanks for the review :D

Jamyward: Glad you like the story :D

(no name): Dank you :D I have been working on it but as you see it took me awhile DX I have been trying though.