The Discovery of the $8 Crop 2: One Life to Live
In some prison, somewhere…
Jerry, either the hero or the villain of the first story (it's hard to tell) lied down. He turned on the 3:00 news on the prison TV.
From where we left off last, Jerry had just jumped off a bridge into the ocean. Thinking he was invincible because he ate what was supposedly an $8 crop, he ended up nearly drowning. Luckily, a police boat came in to save him, but he was arrested for stealing and eating such a valuable tomato. At court, the scientists at the Cart Research Lab, who all saw Jerry as a threat, wouldn't tell the court that the "$8 crop" had been a fake. Therefore, here Jerry was, at a 20-year sentence in prison one year later. Anyway, the news had a story about the $8 crop on it.
"Apparently, a 2nd $8 crop has been grown at Bob's Tomato Farm," said the news casting woman. "And scientists from the Cart Research Lab are planning on buying the tomato from Bob tomorrow. The last $8 crop was eaten by a guy named Jenny…"
If he had a brick, Jerry would have thrown it at the TV.
"Pathetic," said Jerry. "Not only did they call me Jenny on television by mistake, but a 2nd $8 crop! That last one almost got me killed! I only have one life to live! If I were to steal this one, I'd get a 40-year sentence. I'm not that stupid!"
Later that night…
Bob broke out, by using a hammer he found stuck in the DVD player.
"When I said I wasn't that stupid, I meant I was smart enough to do the math," said Jerry.
Earlier that day at Bob's Tomato Farm…
Three scientists entered the fields Bob was standing on.
"Allow me to introduce myself," said one of the scientists. "I am Keith. Behind me are Dan and Stan. We're scientists from the Cart Research Lab."
They all bowed toward Bob.
"Is there something you need?" asked Bob.
"Yes," said Keith. "We would like to buy a certain tomato from you…"
"Do you want an orange tomato?" Bob cut in. "Because I don't sell orange tomatoes. I sell red tomatoes. However, I think the orange market sells orange tomatoes. Of course, they mainly sell oranges, so it's no very likely. Then again, there was that blue tomato at Dr. Yellow's Blue Shop, but that was really a yellow tomato painted blue…"
"Stop!" shouted Keith. "We want a red tomato. It's called the $8 crop."
"Well, I only have one tomato grown right now," said Bob. "Let me go get it."
Bob went to get the tomato off the tomato plant. When he came back, Stan took it from him and looked at it closely.
"Hmm…" said Stan.
"What is it?" asked Bob.
"This is a crop," said Stan. "And it's probably $8. It's the $8 crop. Guys, it's the $8 crop! Yeah!"
"That's not how you determine it," said Keith. "Do you have the tomato plant?" he asked Bob.
Bob went to pluck the tomato plant from the ground. He brought it to Keith. Keith looked closely at the plant. The number 8 was marked on the top of it.
"Did you write this 8 on the plant?" asked Keith.
"No," said a confused Bob.
"Interesting," Keith turned to Dan and Stan. "It's an $8 plant, which means the tomato is the $8 crop!" Keith grabbed the tomato from Stan and gave it back to Bob. "I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll come back tomorrow to discuss buying it from you."
"OK," said Bob.
The scientists left.
At 10:00, Bob fell asleep on his front porch. He wanted to make sure no one took the $8 crop. Jerry arrived then. He spotted the $8 crop next to Bob. He quietly stepped onto the front porch, snatched the $8 crop, and started running away while gobbling up the tomato. Bob then woke up, saw Jerry running off and started chasing him, not knowing Jerry was eating the tomato.
By the time Jerry had finished eating the $8 crop, he actually began to feel immortal. Also, it didn't taste bad; unlike the other one he previously ate which was actually a baseball. Two police officers spotted him just then.
"Hey!" shouted one officer. "That's Jerry!"
The two officers began chasing Jerry, with Bob right behind them. Then, Bob and the two officers backed off when they saw the black hole that suddenly appeared and started sucking Jerry in.
Jerry looked down at his feet. Not only was he scared of being sucked up by the black hole, but he also knew if you got sucked into a black hole without your socks on, then you'd lose your immortality. He was wearing sandals without socks on.
Jerry was doomed. Even if there was a chance he'd end up escaping the black hole, which he probably wouldn't, then he'd get an even bigger sentence.
Jerry got sucked up by the black hole. A few minutes later, the black hole all of a sudden spat him out. He had lost his immortality.
After the black hole disappeared, the two police officers arrested Jerry.
"This is too confusing," said Bob. "From now on, I'm growing potatoes."
I don't think anyone has told him about the $9 crop yet.