It was quiet, and it was only me and Nick. We were lying in front of the lake down the road from my house; I could almost hear the twinkling of stars. It was nearly midnight, I wasn't sure, I lost track of time. I always seemed to lose track of time when I'm with Nick. We were lying side by side, no words were being spoken, and we were just simply laying in peaceful bliss. His arm was around my shoulder and I had my head resting on his chest; I could hear his heartbeat, and the up and down of his breathing was soothing. It was autumn, but the nights recently had grown to become colder than the days were, so I was perfectly comfortable right where I was. It was the perfect moment, nothing could ruin it. I was lying in the arms of the boy I loved, and the world seemed to be at peace. Everything around me was tranquil and calm. I wish I could have stayed like this forever, but as everyone knows, that can't happen.
My phone buzzed to life in my pocket, and with the sudden jolt of energy, both Nick and I shot our eyes open. I maneuvered myself so I could reach my pocket. I pulled my phone out and read the small words that sprang to life on the screen. It was my mother; she had already called me twice telling me to come home. I had ignored both of those calls.
"It's your mom again, isn't it." Nick said to me. I sighed to myself.
"Yeah." I heard him sigh as well. He then turned his body so he could look at me face to face.
"That's the third time she's called. I should probably get you home." A little piece of me died the moment he even began talking about this night being over.
"No, I don't have to go." I said, trying to reassure him.
"Yes, you do."
"Ok, yes I do, but I don't want to go." He gave me that sexy half smile that I adored.
"Well, I don't want you to go either, but I also don't want to be the reason that your mom screams at you." I sat myself up in the grass; Nick mirrored my action.
"It makes no difference what the reason is. Ever since the divorce, I get yelled at either way. So, why not at least give her a reason this time?" He chuckled a little bit under his breath, and then looked at me with a small smile.
"Nick, why do you always have to be such a good boy?" I said jokingly as I put my hands on his shoulders. His arms slinked around the small of my back, so I connected my arms around the back of his neck.
"I want your mom to like me, considering she is going to be my mother-in-law one day." I smiled to myself. Once senior year was finally over in June, Nick and I were going to move away together and go live somewhere, and eventually get married. That was our plan, and it had been for two years.
He got himself up and held out his hand to help me up. Begrudgingly, I grabbed his hand and stood up too. He then suddenly turned to me and grabbed both of my hands. "But since I do want your mom to like me, I should do this here instead of on your porch." He kissed me, though it turned into a mini make out session. Once he let me breathe again, he walked me back to my house.
He walked me to my doorstep; kissed me goodnight and we went our separate ways. I walked inside a black house; no light was on from what I could see when I first entered. I flicked on the lamp closest to me so I could see my surroundings. I called my mom's name to see if she was even home. What if she had gone out looking for me since I didn't answer her calls? She may have. But I thought I should check the house just in case. I rounded behind my stairwell and saw that the kitchen light was on. I walked into the small little room and saw my mother draped over the kitchen table, a half empty whiskey bottle in her hands. With a small sigh of disappointment, I walked over to her and nudged her.
"Mom," I said trying to get her to wake up. I took the bottle out of her hand, walked over to the counter and poured what was left of it down the sink. I walked back over to where she sat and pulled her up so she was sitting right side up in the chair. She made small groaning sounds and then slowly blinked her eyes open.
"Karlee?" I sat down in one of the other chairs around the table.
"Yeah, Mom. It's me." She blinked a bit more, rubbed her eyes and yawned a small yawn.
"What time is it?" I glanced at my phone to check.
"About one." Suddenly her 'mom mode' activated.
"And you're just getting home now? What exactly where you and Nick doing all this time?" I rolled my eyes slightly.
"Having sex. No, Mom we were just down by the lake. Relax." She got up and walked over to the counter, and pulled out her little pill bottles. I saw her dump out three of some small oval pill and pop them into her mouth. "Mom, what exactly did you do while I was gone?" She took a sip of water to help the pills go down then looked over at me.
"What I've been doing every night; just staying here, alone."
"And trying to drink your worries away?" She glared at me for a split second, but then her face turned into that of remorse.
"It was just for tonight." I stood up and walked closer over to her.
"Mom it's been every night for the past few days." At this point, I somewhat expected her to get angry with me, but for some reason, her voice remained very low. Maybe it was because she just didn't have the strength at the moment, or perhaps it was something else.
"Karlee, you don't know what it's like to be with someone for 19 years and then they just leave you, just like that. You don't know how hurtful it is."
The divorce happened about two weeks ago. My father had an affair with some blonde skank that he swore up and down was just a coworker. It was nearly as soon as my mother found out, he declared officially that he was leaving her. She went into a depression shortly afterwards, that which I can understand. But I've had subconscious remorse towards her and her attitude lately.
"Yeah? Well you're right. I don't know what that's like. But I do know what it's like to have your father walk out on you after 18 years. And you know what? Do you know what it feels like to know that your own father doesn't want you anymore? No. You don't. Mom I understand this divorce is hard for you, but you also need to think of me. You are not the only one suffering here, you may have lost a husband but I lost my damn father. You don't see me getting drunk or wasted, or baked or anything over this. Mom, you need to be stronger. You can pull through this. You're just not trying." I then saw something that I had never seen before. My own mother, the woman who raised me, the strongest woman I know, she started crying right in front of me. I automatically regretted the things that I said. I walked closer to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean all of that…" She looked at me with wet eyes.
"It doesn't matter if you meant it or not, it's true. I'm not trying. I've lost the will to try. But I don't want you to see me like this. So please, Karlee go to bed." I didn't really know what else to say, or even do for that matter, so I simply obeyed her and went up into my room for the night.