A bigger dilemma of my lifetime happened when my gay best friend unintentionally turned me on at a 'randoms' pool party. Up until that point, I'd never had the urge to do a guy or a girl for that matter. At twenty, I hadn't ever been attracted to anyone that wasn't a movie star. I was a late bloomer to some. A relationship with a movie star would never happen, so I was safe from STD's, unwanted babies, and heartbreak when I selected which screen hottie would cause my delightful vibrated orgasm.
The rabbit was an all-time favorite.
"So, Ethan, I was wondering..." I started as if it were a normal conversation with any one of my friends.
If I wasn't so comfortable around him I wouldn't be able to ask this rather uncomfortable question. Especially since I had no way of knowing how it would change our relationship in the future. Unfortunately, I was that comfortable with him.
His pine green eyes shifted in my direction, giving me a quick once over before returning his attention to his book. "Yes?"
I shifted my light blue cotton shorts higher up my thighs and grabbed the back of my black tee, pulling the excess material behind me. I wanted the effect to be the material stretching across my breasts, presenting me as a sex kitten in waiting. I wasn't sure how it would work with a gay guy –-I'm such a liar—but it was worth a try.
The words spilled out. "I want you to take my virginity."
Those seven words bounced off the walls of his apartment, taunting me, teasing me with their stupidity. Saying it in my mind was a different reality to saying it out loud, and Ethan's silence made me wonder if I'd already ruined what we had.
What was I doing? How could I just say it like that?
Blurting the words out had not been the best choice. I'd even tried to make myself physically appealing to him. Two boobs and a hole between my legs kept insisting it wasn't possible to be appealing to him.
What was I thinking?
Resisting the urge to bow my burning face into my hands, I let my humiliation consume me as I watched him, waiting for him to point and laugh, to tell me to get out for being so ridiculous, but all he did was blink at his book, a frown creasing the sides of his peach-colored lips. He peeked at me from the corner of his eyes before he turned his gaze away, looked straight ahead with a clenched jaw, and then shifted back to stare at me again.
"Cassie, I don't need to state the obvious," he said flexing the binding of the book, making it bend under the pressure.
It was settled. It was as simple as that for him; end of story. I felt stupid for blurting out my secret to desire to have sex with him, but at least he hadn't laughed. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I'd thought about this for a long time, to consider making Ethan's boyfriend, Seth, a part of the 'devirginize Cassie' mission. It had to be Ethan and if Seth had to come as a result then I was definitely okay with it. Seth was like a rippling super model.
A piece of my curly brown hair fell onto a pink cheek as I sighed and folded my arms across my chest. I turned my upper body towards him and leaned closer, settling inches away from his side. "I know you like guys. I understand that, but I don't trust anyone else to do it. You're my best friend, Ethan. And let's be honest, at the rate I'm going I won't lose it until I'm like," I paused, my eyes rolling upwards as I pretended to do some mental math, "eighty."
"Don't be over dramatic. Why now? You've never cared before."
I'm not gonna tell him. My two main reasons were for me and me alone.
Sharing my reasons would be way too embarrassing. His glistening abs and a pair of black swim trunks at a pool party had tweaked my nether regions so much that I'd been wet-dreaming about him for months. When I realized I wanted him, a rational bug came and bit my ass, and shortly after Seth was appearing in my erotic dreams too. 'Cassie Sandwich' fantasies haunted my sleep and wake time.
It's not my fault. And I'm not gonna tell him! He didn't need the confidence boost anyhow.
Ethan was always walking around shirtless and Seth was touchy – as in he was always touching me or Ethan. I noticed it a few weeks ago, about three months after the incident that would end up taking over my dreams, how much Seth enjoyed physical contact too. Seth would run his fingers up my bare thighs when I had shorts on, or bump me from behind with his hip. He would pat my ass and make comments about my small chest... he even took a finger and pulled the neck-line of my shirt down to peek inside. All flirtations I wouldn't have noticed, coming from a gay guy, if my sex-drive hadn't gone into warp speed.
"Well? Why now?" Ethan repeated his question.
I wasn't going to let the answer 'because you and your boyfriend make me horny, Ethan' slip out, but it settled on the tip of my tongue. Biting my lip, I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I want to know what it feels like."
A horrified expression crossed his face, but he shook his head quickly, his sandy blonde hair falling into his eyes. He clutched at the binding of his book and brought it up to his face before he spoke again. "This isn't the 'I fell in love with my gay best friend' is it?"
I slapped a hand to my chest and let my mouth drop, faking an outraged expression. I vehemently shook my head in denial. "Absolutely not, I just want you to stick your pole into my—"
He held a hand up, face-palming me. "If you finish that sentence I'll— damn! I'm getting an unwanted visual."
I scoffed. "Hey, I happen to be very sexy. Brett Carson told me that my lips are great for sucking—"
"I'll kill you," he said, his eyes darkening. He raised a thoughtful eyebrow when I kept silent. "I didn't know Brett liked you."
I shrugged. "I didn't either."
Clearly, I needed to try a different strategy. Already I let him steer me off topic. It might've worked with Seth, Ethan's current boyfriend, but not with me.
I pouted my lips, attempting a seductive look that probably just made me look constipated. "I love you."
Ethan scowled and shifted farther down the couch, away from me. "I love you too, but I'm not deflowering you."
He flinched away from my high pitched cry. "Would you stop screaming like it's the end of the world?"
"All I want you to do is—"
He nodded with a scoff. "Is stick my pole in your—"
I held my hand up. "Okay, you're right that wasn't the best word choice."
I sighed, rolling my eyes and sweeping a hand through my hair for dramatic effect. "It's not that big a deal, Ethan."
"Oh really? Then let Brett do it."
I faked a gag. "His hands are like meat hooks and his face looks like a very ugly bull dog."
"Well, it's not a big deal, right?"
"Ethan!" I reached over and punched him as hard as I could, but he barely flinched.
"For arguments sake, let's say I consider this, what about Seth? Does he get a say in this? He is my boyfriend, after all."
"Well technically, since you like guys and I'm a girl, it wouldn't really be cheating."
He scoffed. "That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard!" He heaved sigh as he discarded his book on the floor, nudging it to the side with his foot. "You do realize that Seth is paranoid that one day you'll be the one to turn me straight."
I frowned, stretching my legs and reaching behind me to scratch my back. "Is that even possible?"
Ethan snorted and settled his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands. "No."
I smiled. "You're such a freak."
"If it's not possible, then what's the problem? It's just sex!"
"If it was 'just sex' you wouldn't be asking me." I thought I'd lost him, but he turned his face, settling his cheek on his palm as he stared at me. His wheat colored brows drawn together in serious contemplation. "Are you sure you want it to be me?"
Hell yes! I pretended to think about it for a second before I nodded slowly.
"You understand in order for me to take your virginity I have to be-um-well..." His face burned a lobster red as he stumbled over the words.
He inhaled sharply and then nodded.
"Yes. That's why I was thinking that maybe we could ask Seth to join us," I said, feeling relived to have finally gotten it out.
I really hope he doesn't think less of me wanting this.
He blinked and his lips parted. "How did I know you would say that? And you think I'm the freak?"
Blowing on my nails with an 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' look, I nodded. "Seth tells me things, Mr. Sub. I could be your new dom. I think I could handle a whip pretty well and how hot would I look in slutty leather?"
Ethan's face flushed "Oh lord," Ethan mumbled. "Why do I put up with you?"
The corner of my mouth lifted in a smile. "Because you love me and I'm your snuggle bunny."
I could see it in his eyes. He'd given in. My brain grew legs and leapt with joy as he scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Oh man," he mumbled. "I can't wait to hear what Seth has to say about this."
"He'll want to know why he can't pop my cherry."
Ethan groaned, his shoulders sagging, his face now hidden in his palms, "That's exactly what he'll say."
I patted his muscular shoulder, letting my fingers linger longer. "We probably won't even have to talk him into it.