MONOTONY

R&R


I wait for you to come closer,
To draw closer and tell me
That you can't deal with me
Any more. Not with my
Psychotic, bordering on
Insane, behavior, and my
Bipolar mood swings.
But, you draw closer
And you smile right at me,
Then draw me into a hug
For a second, that little voice,
Which I am always aware of,
Which tells me I'm never
Going to be good enough
For anyone to accept or like,
Let alone love, fades
To the back of my mind.
I let myself relax into
Your warm embrace and
I let myself be and believe.
I turn to smile at you...
Before I can see your face,
Your features, I am woken up
From my daydream by the
Bell signalling the end of school.
I pack my bag and head
Towards my carpool,
My movements sluggish-
Even cheerily wave goodbye to
A few stragglers.
I reach home and eat lunch alone.
I go for tuition, let myself
Become numb to everything
But learning and understanding.
It becomes darker and it's almost 8,
I come back home again. I had been out
From 7 in the morning.
This time, my family's there and
We eat dinner together, though,
I am barely there with them.
They're discussing important
Things like business and will
Talk to me later. I finish eating
And go sleep. Tomorrow's going to
Be the exact robotic same.