Hey guys. Ik its been ahwile since I last updated and for anyone who was expecting an update on Fallinf for the Wrong, I apologize. I'm totally stuck with what to write next. This one-shot is dedicated to my friend who is based off of the same girl that I based Susi on. If you feel like "meeting her" or if youre bored, this is her tumblr .com/. So to any FFTW readers, just think about Susi and Willis.
I seriously hate lucid nightmares; they're the worst. Your mind just makes them up and at the end, you feel trapped and helpless until you wake up. Yet it still feels so real. Maybe that's why I was crying so much this morning. I had this dream and I woke up with tears in my eyes. It was about him.
I once dreamt that William was cheating on me with one of my closest friends, Lara, who likes him too. He told everyone, not even bothering to break up with me first. I suspected that she liked him, but I didn't think that I'd lose him. The worst part of it was that I felt completely hopeless and broken, like I couldn't do anything to stop it. I felt so relieved when I woke up because it never happened, but it felt so real, as if it actually happened.
The reason why I expect some things to happen (which never will) and the reason why I start doubting, over-analyzing and not trusting people is because I don't want to get hurt. I want to see it coming so that it'll hurt less, but I'm just hurting myself more.
Yesterday, my fears were confirmed. Lara admitted that she does like William. When I told him, he tried to comfort me and convince me that everything will be alright, but I still worried myself sick and cried myself to sleep while listening to the sounds of the rain pattering against my window.
Instead of paying attention in class as usual, I merely sat by the window, watching the raindrops slide down the glass like tears streaming down one's face. When the bell rang at the end of ninth period, I quickly stuffed my belongings back inside my bag and left biology without talking to anyone. I passed by my locker, but I already had all of my stuff. My friends Sophia, Tyrone, and David were chatting in the hallway and Sabrina noticed me.
"Hey Suki, wanna go to the food truck with us? I'm paying."
"No thanks. Not hungry," I muttered quickly, trying to get past them but Tyrone stopped me.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
"Sorta but it's nothing," I reply quickly. Before I could move away, he wrapped me into a hug. Normally, I'd consider it as sweet, but I just wanted to get out of here.
"Um, I kinda need to go home," I told him awkwardly when he released me. I continued walking down the hallway without a backward glance.
As I passed through the thick crowds of other fellow Asians, the crowd seemed to swallow me up and I suddenly felt so much smaller and lonelier than ever.
When the crowds began to thin out, I saw Zara and Jessamin by the entrance.
"Hey Suki, can i get the-" Jessamin started to say but I cut her off.
"Sorry, can't talk. Gotta get home," I lied as I opened the door and started walking to the bus stop before anyone else could try to talk to me. The wind began to pick up, causing me to shiver. Before I could cross the street, I felt someone's hand pull me back.
"Why have you been avoiding me all me all day?" William asked quietly. I expected him to be mad, but the sadness in his tone only made me feel worse.
"I'm sorry, but I just don't wanna talk about it," I muttered quietly, not wanting to look into his eyes, knowing that I'll find only sadness and hurt.
Rain was starting to pour even heavier than before. Since I forgot to bring my umbrella, my clothes were getting soaked and strands of my plain, curly brown hair began sticking to my face. I probably looked like an ugly mess.
As hard as I tried to pull away, he maintained a firm grip around both of my wrists.
"Is it because of Lara?" he demanded. My silence answered him. "I already told you not to worry about it. You know that'll never happen. You know that I love you."
"Well, you know me. You know that I can't help myself from worrying so much and over-thinking about everything," I sighed.
He sighed heavily, looking at his hands that were holding my wrists. Then he frowned and held up my hands. At first, my hands were clenched up into fists but he unfurled my fingers and saw the small cuts from last night. Shit.
"You cut yourself last night?" he asked incredulously. I tried to pull away, but his hands quickly tightened around my wrists again.
"Only a little," I answered quietly. " I won't do it again though. I swear."
"God, you worry me too much."
"No. Don't be sorry. I don't ever want you to feel guilty or sad or worried. I don't want you to feel anything but happy."
One of his hands released my wrists, cupping my cheek. As he moved in closer to me and his other hand left my wrist to hold my hand, my desire to leave just suddenly disappeared.
"You know I love you," he said softly, so close that our lips were almost touching. I found myself getting lost into his mesmerizing chocolate eyes.
"I know. I just don't want to lose you," I whispered before he closed the distance between us and his lips met mine.
This kiss was different than the others; there was only love and not lust. Even as the rain continued to pour, it only seemed to enhance the magical and wonderful feel of the moment. The rain, other students, my pain, all of it seemed to disappear. All I was thinking about was that he was here and he's mine. Instantly, I felt so much better, as if his love was what gave me strength.
Even after we pulled away, we were only a few inches away from each other. He leaned his head upon my forehead and kissed it softly. I felt a smile form on my face and felt my heart beat rapidly against my chest.
"I love you," I said to him. He wrapped his arms around me, embracing me into a warm hug that made me feel safe and loved.
"I love you too," he replied with confidence. "Don't ever doubt that."
I was smiling while writing this cause I think it was so cute. :) Reviews make me a very happy girl (well, if theyre good ones).