The bathroom came to my sights once more and I closed the door, then opened it and what stood before me was not hell, but the school hallway, in which stood good old Mista Petarac.
'That was….' He started.
'…. A long… ' I followed.
I did not answer to amuse this time, but instead stared at him blankly. So he cleaned up his act and his sentence.
'Toilet break. That was quite long Ronnie. I must say I had to start without you.'
My eyes flashed of red for a second. 'Start what?'
'Well… um… the…' and he concluded with a wormlike and whimpering: '… Science exam' ending off in a note that seemed more like a question, as if he was expecting an answer so venomous.
All I did was make a mock botoxed face wrapped up in satire and clap my hands in strict staccato. Clap. Clap. And Clap. Walked passed him.
Math was in the gutter now, I accepted this without hesitation, but from this bloomed Anderuse's death, and my ultimate acing of Science. How? Well my probing friends, with this: The Amulet of invisibility. Our lord Satan uses it from time to time on his 'prductive' visits Earth-side. It makes fucking shit up and screwing with people's minds a tad bit more convientetn.
Walking down the hallway I squeeze it and, as if nothing from the realm of curiosity had just seeped me off my feet, I became unseen, invisible. I Disappeared. One problem: My hands, my feet were nowhere to be seen. It's an odd sensation, 'Walking' and floating at the same time.
But, no matter. Uncle Ronnie still had some killing to be done. And when I say 'killing' of course, I am referring to that bastard son of a bitch Anderuse.
Mista Peterac finally turned the corner and stolled right down pass me without the realization that I had been adopting a slower pace, embracing the chilling winds of Anderuse's inevitable death.
The stairs brought me up, and up, brought me to the door of his final doom.
Looking through the glass, class 12 A were so quietly sitting row by row, paper down with pen in hand. I looked at Andy boy and laugh a little evil laugh. A little too noisy though, as Peterac walked down to the door and poked his head out with Wtf eyes bouncing down his sockets.
I take this chance to slip in unseen, obviously, and stand in front of the class.
So quiet was the day. So peacefull was the mood. And all I had to do to fuck it up was: 'Oi!'
The sound erupted like a fart in the wind, causing all my prettys to face front wise and go 'wha?'
Mista Peterac marched right down and gave them a little: 'Right, who said that? Who broke silence?'
And that's when I stabbed his chest a good five times. Blood like a fountain came a-gushing.
At first the class found it comical to say the least. Faces wore wild glares with smiles to complement them. Laughing and jeering a little. But then came the good old krovy. The redness from the wounds started to spill, and then they turned white.
'Eet's blood!' Hanna Scevarca screamed. And one by one, each of them started to go halfway insane.
Karen broke down crying, on her knees, screaming 'Why? Why?' To my right, Timothy Mungen flapped his 'wings' and bounced around like a little fucking fairy, and Johan Schuman stood on the table quoting scripture. Everyone else whizzed around like flys on a shitstain.
It was time to get busy, and as I step over Mista Peterac's bloodied body, I start to care not for bumping into people on my way to Anderuse still calmly sitting on his desk. John Levy swinged right into me, and was like: 'What the' before I cracked him one square in the jaw and proceeded through the hurricane.
As I said, he just sat there, pen in hand, immune to Peterac's death and immune to any of this insanity.
Raising my blade, I whisper: 'Time to die, shitbag.' And with a twinkling gleam in his eye he looked up at me. 'So, what took you so long.'
Of course this was enough for me to go insane, but I kept it in me and made audible a loud: 'What the fuck?'
I had a thousand and one questions, but I was only able to ask: 'How, exactly?'
The bastard stood up up and up and looked into me and said: 'Perhaps it's none of your business. And perhaps, go fuck yourself.'
He reached into his pocket and produced…. A black amulet, The same as mine. The same kind I received my training from.
'You have the power?'
'So do - '
' – You?' He interrupted, like any wise interrupting bastard would do. 'Of course you do Ronnie. I knew all along how this was going to play out my little retarded friend.'
Angrily: 'Oh yea? No shit, how about we just skip to the part where I stab the shit out of you, fuckface.'
He just smiled and said: 'Change of plans.'
Without a hint to prepare me for what to come, he waved his hand and produced a black hole: A void into time and space.
'Good luck trying to find me' and he continued: 'Hey, don't look so down in the dumps eh? I left you a little something to entertain yourself.'
'which might be?' I asked.
'Well… the answer scheme of course.'
And now I thought this was all a joke. This was all some sort of sickening ploy. As if the whole cast of galloping hooligans would just suddenly stop and shout: Surprise! And Mista Petarac's bloodyed corpse would just get up and start laughing at me. But how sweet the sound of his voice when he told me those last departing words. Of course I knew what he was going to do now. With the right answers straight from the scheme, time traveling back into months past could bring him an assload of money. One had to hand it to the bastard, he was a business man.
The gaping hole closed finally, and I felt at least now, a hint of respect for Anderuse, even though I still wanted to beat his face to pulp for what he did that morning.
Turning now, I'm faced with emptiness. The Monkeys had left the zoo it seemed, and I was all alone with Dying Mista Peterac and the scheme on the far away desk.
As I reached for the answer booklet, I felt complete. As if a life's work had just been finished. I was finally. At. Peace.
Take that fucking shit back, my friends, peace was not the right word to use that day. Instead, I was more in the state of rage, inflamed with a rage so potent that I felt like an overheated tea kettle about to go pop. and why? Why why why why why you ask me? Let's turn the clock to seconds previous.
As I picked the scheme up from the table, I press is to my chest with glee in my heart. Opening it with eyes half closed in ecstasy and a widening smile, I am greeted by this
Why does a cell have high density of rough endoplasmic reticulum (ER) in its cytoplasm?
As my eyes scroll down, I read: 'Because I'm Mario.'
Q: Why can chloroplasts be expected to occur in large numbers in this cell?
A: Because im Mario
Q: why are there observations to support the Cell Theory?
A: Because im Mario
Q: why does one use an electron microscope?
A: Because im Mario
Becouse im fucking Mario, it seems. Anderuse, you done it again. Anderuse, you've done… it….a fucking - ….. -gain.