"Tell me Daddy-uh Lord!" begged Jasmine, a princess of seven years.

"Yes! Puh-leeease? You-promised-that-you-would-tell-us-today-right-here-right-now-and-you-are-the-pharaoh-and-pharaohs'-don't-lie!" Kimi took a breath.

Pharaoh Ramses's nine children sat in a clump whispering excitedly. Among then were the noisy six-year-old triplets, Nefertiti, Nefertari, and Nefertooty, the 18 year old hier to the throne, Mikami, the beautiful princesses, Rifia, age 8, and Dalia, age 11. Oh, and Akil, the youngest, at 2 years.

Ramses, my master, is the Pharaoh of Egypt. His clean shaven head is covered by the traditional cloth nemes; today is was red and black. Well, at least he isn't wearing the war crown...he looks so evil when he glares with that thing on... whatever. Ramses is also wearing a simple kilt; white and intricately pleated. Encircling his biceps are golden armbands embedded with precious stones like aquamarine and jade.

Seated next to Ramses is his wife, Jade. She has long and wavy black hair, silky as a peach and as dark as obsidian. She is clothed in a long trailing gown (how does she not oh-so-elegantly trip in that thing?) made of the finest silk. Jade wore glittery bracelets (shininess...), most of pure gold with various precious stones set in them. A giant ring proudly presented a scarab carved from lapis lazuli; a gift from Ramses on their wedding day. She has pretty flowers placed in a halo around her head. Jade is from China.

"Father, please tell us. They," Mikami jerked a thumb at his siblings, "won't rest until you do."

A chorus of "pleases" and more excited whispering, OK, talking...shouting arouse.

Ramses raised his hand and whole courtyard fell silent. Funny how he has that effect on people...

He managed a crooked smile (which he never, ever does), "I will tell you," his voice rang clear around the courtyard, echoing off the the walls of the palace, (so it really sounded like, "I WILL TELL YOU, I will tell you, tell you, tell you, you) "But after I do, you can't hate me for what I've done.

Standing up, Jade placed her hands in his, "A long, long time ago," (what next? in a galaxy far away?), "your father and I...well...we were not exactly fond of each other. He ruled Egypt as their Pharaoh, and I served my country as Empress."

"What happened next?" asked Dalia.

"Then," Jade looked at Ramses with a playful look in her eyes, "then Ramses...he attacked China. He brought his whole army and—"

"Hey! You're making me look bad!" complained Ramses, "I want to tell the story too!"

The triplets giggled. Ramses glanced at them.

"We think that your name is funny," Nefertooty nudged her sisters.

"I am Pharaoh Ramses CXXXIV.V, King of Upper and Lower Egypt, Lord of the two Lands, son of Ra, Living image of Horus, The good god, Horus of Gold, Beloved of Hathor, given life, prosperity, wealth, stability, health, and blessed with the holy waters, like Ra forever, " chorused the triplets, grinning and poking each other until they ended up rolling around in the sunny courtyard, shrieking with laughter.

Ramses glared at them, which he is famous for.

"You are the 134.5th pharaoh that was named Ramses. " Rifia raised an eyebrow, (Jasmine snickered, while burrowing her head in Mikami's lap) "how'd you end up with half a pharaoh?" More giggling followed.

"Silence!" Ramses crossed his arms and huffed.

"Now, now. Let's settle down so we can tell the story," Jade said.

"This is our story..."