Season of the Rain, Day 78, Year 5 of SAreign

It's odd how differently you look at things after some time has passed. Things change, people change, and your life may end up down a path you never knew existed.

I found this as I was moving rooms yesterday. I'd forgotten it even existed. Rereading it brought a lot of things back, some of them good, some of them bad. But…Kevin's note at the end is the reason I'm writing now.

It's funny how we both had the same plan. Our death in exchange for the lives of the other two. Idiot beat me to it. In hindsight, I shouldn't have let him know. But if there's anything I've learned in these last five years, it's that spending all your time regretting gets you nowhere.

Sam and myself are permanent residents of the dreigun world now. We have been since we graduated high school. It was the condition our parents put on us when we explained what our plan was. It took some proof, but they agreed readily enough. I don't think they knew what else to do with the two of us. We still visit.

Razor, my bird-bodyguard is gone. The magic that had bound to him was mostly Kevin's and J said it probably faded fairly quickly after his…after he died. Without the correct bindings, spells break down quickly after the death of their caster. Rereading this reminded me of how much I enjoyed his company. I think I might look into getting a pet of some sort. Preferably something that can fly. It needs to be able to keep up with us.

I have a job now, sort of. In a way, I'm like Sam's Razor, a bodyguard-companion. I know several of the dreigun have referred to me as a pet of sorts though they're all careful to only call me 'the king's human sister' in public. Sam's not really a king but it's the only word that comes close in English. The dreigun word for it has a far more complicated and specific meaning. It's also gender neutral.

I'm content with my life. It's not what I had pictured when I first started this diary but then, I didn't know dreigun existed back then.

Today was a good day though. Sam went through the mating ceremony, the dreigun equivalent of a wedding, and his new mate has moved into the rooms next to his.

She's quite nice, actually. We get along well. But then again, Sam did insist on my approval on his mate. I'm just down the hall from them, glad to be away from any awkward night noises. Everyone's expecting children before the end of next year. I wonder if they'll call me Aunt…

I never really believed in an afterlife or reincarnation or any of that. Now, I'm willing to admit the possibility. It's why I'm writing this now. Just in case you're looking down or up, or get reborn and find this, I want you to know we're alright. That things worked out for us thanks to you. Really, I'm taking way too many words to say this.

Kevin, I miss you.