Don't assume that I don't remember

Those cold, windy times-

That hectic month of November

And those old, rusty chimes.

That was how you got my attention,

When I barely knew who you were

On that first day of detention

Because I was a fairly good girl.

I gawked and gaped,

Fascinated yet confused.

I listened as you played.

You showed me a world without rules.

I never thought it would happen-

Of course, it could never be.

But I loved that you awakened

Something deep inside of me.

Even my only true friend

Rolled her eyes, certain

That we'd be more than friends,

That I was positively smitten.

And just as she said,

I felt like I was in a fantasy

Every time you turned your head

To look at me.

I was not unfamiliar

To the concept of romance,

But what we had was more peculiar,

As if 'us' was out of my hands.

I was accustomed to control,

To everything being perfect.

But with you, the world could've been bulldozed

And I wouldn't have had any regrets.

But others noticed the change,

And they were concerned.

They said I was deranged

As if their approval I needed to earn.

It felt like I didn't need to know

Anything at all.

We'd go with the flow

And I'd listen to you, enthralled.

But even when you bought me that diamond ring,

You never said you loved me.

But it showed, in everything.

Besides, success would be our destiny

From sneaking out through the back door

And hitching a ride to parties,

I didn't know what I was doing anymore,

But I wasn't the least bit sorry.

But there was a part of you

That you kept hidden

Things I didn't know about you were very few-

It was strange, unfamiliar, forbidden.

About it I was curious-

Why wouldn't you want me to know?

It made you overly furious-

Almost terrifyingly so.

Obviously, I backed down,

Lost as to what to do.

You accepted, your face still carrying a frown,

Even when I just wanted to know the truth.

Things almost went back to normal,

The keyword is 'almost' here-

Over your carpet I broke a beer bottle.

We fought and you leered.

I begged you to forgive me,

And you asked for sex.

I told you I wasn't ready,

But breakup was the risk.

One of my friends became pregnant,

And I knew the answer.

I told you I was reluctant,

And I could handle the consequences.

I never looked back.

I'm writing this to you

To say that I have no regrets.

But in case you think I would,

I will never forget.