Dear Stud, Teddy, & Jawbreaker,

I love all of you. Stud, it feels like we have been through so much. Teddy, it was lovely to meet you even though I was too shy to say much. Jawbreaker, you make me laugh.

But, I can't do this. I can't keep feeling like I'm the only one who makes spontaneous effort. You guys react to me, sure, but why am I always first to say something or try and keep in touch?
It's wearing me down. I need to cut you all off really, but I can't bring myself to lose you guys. Catch-22.

Give me hope?